Monday, March 9, 2009

The World Of Angels

I wanted to post this on Sunday, but all my desperate attempts went in vain thanks to the long Saturday night out and Sunday engagements. I really made it a point to post this in time which I rarely do for other posts. Apologies to my good self.
-----------
A small baby…a cute little girl…an obedient daughter…a supporting sister…an well-behaved and faithful wife…a never-complaining and ever-sacrificing mother…and somebody’s aunt and somebody’s in-law and so on.

Hmm…Well, a boy also goes through many different phases in his life. But, as a 25-year old guy in this male-dominated society (yes, we still are); I would have to admit the fact that a girl spends her life with more contentment than her counterpart. This has been a norm, a fact & such a truth that I often wonder but agree. We got to accept it, realize it & acknowledge it, sooner…the better. Life starts and it moves on, so fast that we forget to ask our closed ones few simple yet important questions. We ask them "are you okay" instead of "are you really happy"…we say them the dinner was good instead of has she ate at all...We have always been indifferent towards her. We say we care for her, but there are moments when she needs us and we must be there with her in those moments.
What makes me worried more is that after so many years of talking woman emancipation, upliftment, education and blah blah blah, we are still having one of the highest rape cases registered everyday. We still misbehave whenever we get a chance, we still love to pass a comment irrespective of age, location or situation. I mean when all these are going to stop? We talk so big about being cosmopolitan, gen next, youngistan and the result is in Delhi girls are not able to go outside after 7 in the evening alone!!! Is this our meaning of a metropolitan city! We are inhumanly hitting girls in the pub, we are molesting them in the New Year eve in front of 5-star hotels and we stalk whenever we find them alone. I know all men are not doing this, but still there is big section and we are simply keeping a blind eye on this.

I don't have a sister and I am yet to get married. But I have experienced and gone through the feelings of my mother closely. And only staying away from her made me realize her place & importance in my life, my heart. Let’s just put my observations of many mothers I have seen in last 24 years. They remain tensed more than 24 hours a day, and all the time for their children and their husband. Even if the children are married or their spouses are just too busy to even call back to say hello. You know what; they love shopping, they love going out to have dinner, they love travelling just like a teenage girl; but they hardly get to do these things in their life as once they step into another home, they get stuck taking the responsibility for everybody else, they start (sometimes they have to) loving everybody unconditionally, they simply forget the word ‘priority’ as they gift this to people around. I mean how can be someone so selfless!!! It takes a hell lot out of somebody not to think about herself every morning she wakes up from her bed. But these women spend their lifetime without asking themselves "Am I happy". Such an irony.

No. Just don't assume. She is NOT okay. Ask her. What she really wants. She is endowed with nature's creative power. Let us empower her with right to live respectfully & choose independently. As Shobhaa De, in one of her recent columns, rightly said, for every Hillary/Sonia/Oprah there are millions who live and die in grief & negligence. This grief falls on them like steady rain that never lets the sun shine through those dark clouds. Another dimension of a woman's life is the relationships she nurtures. She plays so many roles as I have written earlier that she needs space to nurture them.

In my experience, the men or women, actually seeks you out if he or she really cares. It is important to let yourself be missed or to miss. Men are nobody to give women opportunity or options. What they can give is respect, freedom and space to help them grow in their best way possible.

Saluting the spirit of womanhood.

Happy Women's Day.

17 comments:

nivedita said...

hey it was reali nice... d best part ws.. "the feelings dt a mom hv like of a teenager gal".. i cud reali sense it..

thnx coz being a guy u reali wrote it honestly dt hw inhumanly sum guys literally bhave.. n yeah ofcourse d way u cud gt d answers of a woman w/o questioning her..

a lovely 1 indeed...

Lincey said...

One of the best posts dear...

Excellent and plz make your male friends read this one...

yogini said...

Thank you for such respectful words towards 'women'in a very honest manner....

I really appreciate ur efforts of being modest, humble and genuine enough to understand a 'woman' in depth...

Grt Work!!!

Sowmya said...

Very true..... good one...i liked it... Thank u

Subhajit said...

@ Nivi: Thanx so so much... I tried my best...

@ Lincey: Thanks :)

@ Gini: Well, I didn't try to be modest, this is me... Thanx for ur comments dear

@ Sowmya: Welcome to my blog & thanx for ur comments...

Chiranjiit said...

The way you have portrayed the unspoken feelings of mothers is worth all the accolades. Bro, you have expressed it so beautifully that it touched my heart.
Indeed a nice post.

Sanat said...

Well, I found the entire post written without any bias which makes a nice read and I must compliment you for the fact that you have kept the post short with many thoughts to ponder on.

souvagya said...

Subu good post..apart from all praise i like to point one think...It is totally wrong that in India women are ill treated..According to Hindu culture women are Head person in family from long back..The incidents you have mentioned happened due to various other factor( we will discuss those latter). In world be it America or US people pass on comment to gls.

The respect and love we share with our mothers,sisters,wives etc you may not find often in foreign countries.This land belongs to Sita,Savitri,Damayanti...When we come across a unknown women we call her " Maa kemiti acha" "Maa How r u".We respect women a lot but many times not able to speak out..Man's Ego..u can call it..

"Mother" this word will come above "god" as both are creator but latter one is invisible.

Subhajit said...

@ Jeet: Thanks...Ur critical comments are also welcome.

@ Sanat: Hmm...different observation this time by you. Thanks

@ Jinu: Bhaijaan nice addition to the post. I know that the situation is more or less prevalent in all parts of the world but I just written on India as we grew up here.

rakhi said...

Hey…. Sorry 4 joining late…… subbs its simply awsome. I am speechless after reading it….the way u have narrated the feelings of a mother is just so true… I do understand that there r people who respect women…. But the major part is that: man usually takes women for granted…. U know something a women knows everything about her home… like wots her hubby likes… what her children likes… where do the tiny things( like a nail also) are kept at her place…. Even when the family goes out she takes care of the house by locking the door properly. The home is neat and tidy because of her…. taking a small instance: the drinking water in fridge is kept by women (MOTHERS). Everyone comes now and then n drinks water from fridge but if at 1 instance one doesn’t find water in fridge he/she shouts “THEREZ NO WATER IN FRIDGE”. But has anyone thanked her MOM / WIFE for keeping water in fridge… NONE….all this tiny things makes a HOME… n WOMEN MAKES a house A HOME…..
LOVELY ARTICLE SUBBS…

Subhajit said...

Thanks Rakhi for dropping by my blog. Thanks for the comment. What I like is the example you have cited how the moms keep on filling up drinking and still have to hear the scolding...It's so accurate...

Awaiting for some more realistic comments like this.

bulbul said...

Well, this is one for your most thoughtful piece of work!!and as always I adore you for your hold on words..:)

Subhajit said...

Thanks Bulbul for your kind words & liking it.

jayant said...

AWESOME POST...

Chiranjiit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chiranjiit said...

Subha since you have insisted for my critical comments I would like to bare my heart over here on behalf of all the men out there, baring exceptions. But before I do so I would also like to thank Jinu for giving his opinion…though put in a very mild way and Rakhi for sighting some examples-especially for the line “WOMEN MAKES a house A HOME”. Still I would like to add that it’s not always male ego or taking women for granted…It’s just that our way of expressing gratitude is bit different. Subconsciously we may be thankful in a particular situation but it would emanate into a conscious expression like a “thank you” more often in circumstances where we for instance get a gift from somebody & likewise. Whereas in an indirect situation like when we are offered a nicely cooked meal by our mom…we would not even bother to thank her as it would take the entire charm out of it & make the situation so very formal. Rather we would eat the food eagerly and ask for more of it & then ask her perhaps coyly about the ingredients in the recipe. I bet any mom in the world would know that her effort has been highly appreciated thus leaving her beaming from end to end. She does not necessarily need the boring ‘thank u’.
Subha somewhere you had referred to the restrictions that is put on the female members of the family…projecting it as their plight, which may be true from a woman’s point of view but not from a man’s point of view, baring few exceptions here & there . True the female members of our family lead a restricted and protected life but that does not mean that they are less happy than the male members of the family. Their happiness may be different and derived from different sources as compared to men but never the less they are happy. The restrictions that are put on them are directly proportional to the love that is bestowed upon them by their father, brother, husband etc. The more we love them, the more we are protective about them & so more are the restrictions. By doing this we want to ensure that they are always in genuine good company and also we try to prevent ourselves as much as possible from taking the law of the land into our hands. But Alas!! Girls don’t understand this & consider our love as male domination so once they are out of the sight of their family, due to job posting or higher education they indulge in all sorts of nonsense like pubbing, drinking & the latest of all going online with absolute strangers. For some moments of pleasure they put all their values into trash. Of course there are exceptions… girls who stick to their values and there are girls who perhaps had received no values. You talk of plight of women… can you not imagine our plight…the kind of mental torture tension agony anguish we feel when we see the scantily clad pictures of those whom we love splattered around online sights…and being commented by not just strangers but also by people we know…who perhaps are of such low morality that they had not hesitated commenting upon our girl. Is this what is meant by freedom & independence? Is our love not enough for them to be happy that they seek attention by posting their pics online & be appreciated by outsiders? Then if something untoward happens …not only they blame the male society but also leave the hearts of those who really care for them totally seared…seething in anger, bound by the law of land!

Sambit said...

A very intricate piece of writing on an issue which should be a top on everyones priority list, if the world is to be made a better place...
Why does it gt so difficult to accept that a guy could also be a feminist!!