Thursday, July 17, 2014

We're All In This Cycle

Emotionally, I am not that strong. I do not claim to be as well. But just when I do not want a particular phase of my life to turn emotional, it does. Then what! Complete screw up (I'm refraining from using extreme words here). Men and the theory of them not breaking down, they being super strong while getting emotionally trapped is all but myths. I am not only referring to me here, but discovered many such folks around who sulk alone while boasting of big things in public. In my research, it is the men who are most alone, they are the ones who need a company more than their female counterparts contrary to the common perception. Then why this facade in the outside?

Life is how you define it. But then it also has its own tricks up its sleeves. You better be prepared for it. I never was and when I realised it, I realised it tough way. I struggled to meet people, I started searching for companions, I felt alone than ever before. Nostalgia is what I live in, but this sort of melancholy has never set in my days. I drive for miles while in a state of inertia, unaware of people around. I stop at traffic signals because I see a red light, I fear that colour. Then I move on again, into a state of limbo. I always search myself, as I feel that way I can keep reinventing. But in this phase of my life, I am losing myself. 

If I will say I need a companion, that would raise eyebrows. But how can I say that's the truth. I am searching all my old friends, running after them and shouting their names. They are just walking away. I am not finding my closed ones near me. It is a feeling of not being wanted, anymore. But I am still the same person. These all things can be my hallucinations because these being true will be unbearable.

Okay, so what's going on guys! I know the Football fans must be having withdrawal symptoms, it happens. Just 4 more years guys. A lot of top news editors have been leaving their current assignments, but the news is breaking everyday. Just like it was yesterday, a lady who won a medal for her nation at an international event is selling paan at a shop where she is subjected to public humiliation. They are just not accounted for, we have to 'break' such news.

We get emotional so easily for things we are concerned for. For us melting of an Ice Cream is a priority (and it should be, we are spending for it) than what will happen to earth in 30 years from now. But then there are so many things, who cares. And what shall we achieve! So let's think of of how to survive another day in office tomorrow, what new things to buy and how to make my family see a better day. In the process, let the society reach a stage where it will stink. We give a damn to the awareness towards women safety, instead tell our daughters to come home early & not wear 'specific' kind of attire. Let all confine ourselves into our four walls.

I am emotionally weak. I have been strong, have pulled myself up few times. But now I need support. Atleast, for this phase of my life. I know the future requires me to be strong. I am giving the proof of my past to it. Accept my past as my certificate. But can I get some help for my present.

Ignore these rants, let's have some chicken kassa, it is an East Indian special. Because food is what keeps us happy. Let's eat our way into happiness and oblivion.