Subhajit

Year End Blabberings...

2011-12-11T16:21:00.001+05:30

December has been quite a likable month for me as anindividual. Birthdays (yes, I do celebrate on two days), Goa trips, Christmasfever and the year-end retrospections. All these constitute to my specialliking to this month. The list is long though, will try to put them all heretoday. The last year and half has been crazy. The work schedule is insanelyhectic. Just one trip to home. Little brother has been a part of Mumbai offlate. I have become one more year older. Mumbai is still surprising me. New additionsin buddies, new CCD mates, new perfumes. No significant addition to my gadgetlist though. A better maid, a great boss and best of the times in South Bombay.Same room-mate, same health and same relationship status. Seems I have beenconsistent in certain elements in my life. Still missing 25^th of December,the day I said someone that I likeher. This year it completes 12 years of this brave act, out of which I’ll be celebratingmy 5^th as a single! I’ll be into my 7^th year in Mumbai innext year and same no. of years without using a mosquito-net ;) This year has given few good movies worthremembering, but some of them are worth keeping in the library. Facebookaddiction has touched new heights including the no. of logins of mine per day. Virtualnetworking has found a great share of space in each of our lives in theever-diminishing time span for our closed and not-so-closed ones. I can onlymiss the days when I could not even wait till evening to go out to meet thefriends (never had a schedule or plan), was out of the home by 4 in theevening. Also the years I spent in dating. I, in my own capacity, haveredefined dating during ‘my days’. Aahhh, memories! The coming back time wascompletely dependent upon Dad’s deadline-fear and teacher’s homework-fear. Andthe everyday naggings. Life was so simple and uncomplicated yet so smoothwithout the smart phones and the Facebooks. Sometimes I wonder if growing up issuch a curse!

Next year will see the list of married people increase withsome of my buddies falling into the trap with a smiling face, ‘might’ aswell see me working out the budget for some honeymoon packages for myself. ThoughI still am not able to comprehend the requirement of ‘marriage’, but peoplearound me have made it almost inevitable. The New Year will also see mehandling a bigger team in workplace and some additional responsibilities. Andsome new records by Sehwag and the Sachin, the eternal God. Some more scams by netas and adjournments in theparliament. Employees in organization still cribbing and comparing other firm’sculture based on some random ‘Best Companies to Work For’ surveys. It will alsotest me as a lethargic traveler in the most irritating traffic of Mumbai to ournew Corporate Office. I won’t write that I am tired or anything similar tothat. But will definitely reiterate that the idea of a trip to an unknowndestination is on my mind.

New years in chilling winters are such lovely feelings to happen to mankind, alas Mumbai never had that. Just another day, another morning.

It's Insane ...

2011-11-21T00:14:00.001+05:30

It does not happen always that a guy like me will go to watch a movie thrice, it has happened earlier when I had to make it twice owing my commitments to friends and girlfriends and 'other' friends. But this time, I am just stuck with this flick. Though I was eagerly waiting for Imtiaz's next after his last three worthy projects, I was not prepared to travel through this insanely awesome journey of love. When I saw it first two days post its release, I just had one guy commenting that this is worth watching, specially for its climax. And the rest said that the director goofed up in the climax. Nobody spoke bad about the movie though. Masands, Komals & others didn't say bad either. So I entered the theater with an open mind and just for Imtiaz.

Then the next 159 minutes were possibly the best Imitiaz has portrayed so far in his career. 'Rockstar' is not so much the rock as it is about an individual. It's about a man's journey through a span of 8-10 years where his personal & professional life goes through so much. Yet the beauty is Ranbir who plays the central character Jordan has not even blinked (literally too) once from start to finish. Thus delivering probably his one of the best acts which will be remembered with his name forever. The movie's biggest strength apart from Ranbir is some unforgettable music my the maestro A.R. Rahman. He has created 13 tracks for the movie out of which 3 instrumentals also found place in the movie. And Imtiaz has given space to almost 9 and a half songs in his narrative. (Mohit has 'shines' in being Jordan's voice). And, he never termed and treated this is as a musical. Equally dramatic are the visuals. Not just the gorgeousness of Prague or the motorbike jaunts through the snow-capped hills, but each time Jordan went on stage.

Just like Rahman's lasting music, the movie stays with you long after you leave the theater. (Let me also add a note about some meaningful lyrics by Irshad Kamil who penned down words from Gulzar-school-of-thoughts, you may not able to recollect the lyrics easily, but they never sound just-everyday-affair). And Imtiaz does this trick unlike most of the formula-driven cliched movies. No melodrama yet no over the top coming-the-age narrative. The movie has a non-linear screenplay suiting to its narrative which is quite coherent. Editing has become quite crisp as compared to the last movie (Love Aaj Kal) by the director. The supporting cast has been the weak link apart from a couple of characters. So Ranbir is the army, general & the king of Imtiaz's project. He plays a guy who is naive, often clueless, hardly ever has the answers for situations happening with and around him. He is guys who never found words to express himself, who never found opportunities, who never understood stardom, never realized that life's just temporary. And oh boy, the way he carried himself and played his character, SPEECHLESS. He pulled off the entire act with his sheer acting prowess. He now surely justifies the tag which is being attached next to his name for quite some time... 'the next big thing'.

No cacophony of sounds, no unnecessary background score to propel the screenplay forward, no add-on subplots for an easy route to the end. This is how a love story needs to be told. Soul stirring. No fake narrative. It has not become a clap-trap or a crowd-pleaser. Such a heartfelt attempt. The two real winners of this movie are Imtiaz and Ranbir. This would remain as one of the most important movies in their careers and would certainly take them to the next level.

So if you ask me, how many stars this movie should be getting.... I would say you gotta watch it atleast 3 times and decide for yourself. You won't repent.

It Happens, Actually...

2011-11-19T13:45:00.008+05:30

Actually I was kind of used to it. I was used to the everyday pain, complications and people around me going through a range of emotions. It was not just a day or two that it was happening. It was happening since a long time, some ten odd months is actually not a long time. But it seemed to be. It is the suffering that made simple things look so complicated, it made the entire process so tiresome, it basically made the days longer than they actually were.

Life was not the same anymore. The family had to stay calm; they knew it was inevitable with each passing day. But who wants to accept certain truths of life and just move on. Practically, it was impossible. At the same time it was also impossible to accept what was waiting. I was just a passive observer throughout. Expressionless, as usual. Life has told me once again to stop expecting. I never had actually, but when things go beyond our control, we become terribly submissive. To a point where, even the Gods/Goddesses feel that we all have become artificial suddenly in front of them. Then this is life! Who are we kidding anyway; do we have any control on our life? The answer is a clear NO. Sometimes I wonder where exactly we have reached with our development in medical science, our progress in technology. All this really does not work sometimes. These ‘sometimes’ decide a lot in our lives. Or should I say life and death. Everything fails.

We realize the effect of presence of someone the moment we see the person is no more around. However unavoidable the situation is, we still pray that something happens in the end. A home without a person, who is the central binding force, is a home that becomes hard to define. It loses its identity. And the person is a mother, a wife. She plays multiple roles in multiple situations going through so many emotions and stress. It’s just too damn tough to be the backbone of a family and easily slip into so many roles without a hitch. Her absence is almost unbearable; her absence cannot be filled by anyone.

That afternoon was not expected. Almost eleven months of dedicated treatment, so many promises by (so-called) renowned doctors and uncountable hopes in the heart was actually not enough. Jinu called me, I was completely into work. Maa Aau Nahi re…

Neither could I think anything that time nor could I book the tickets for him thanks to our great Indian airline system that made tickets so expensive that an economy class ticket was costing the same that of London return fares. He left next morning though, he saw Mausi last on 14^th November. It was just 5 days since he came back. Just 5 days.

I Can't Explain ...

2011-11-06T23:06:00.000+05:30

I have lived a life with so many colours that it keeps me grounded. I've always remained grounded. So grounded that couldn't help my sibling get a job, being in a profession where I design seductive CTCs and sometimes take more than a dozen interviews a day. I failed to help him, that's the bottom line. Period. And I talk about my network, feeling so proud of them. More than ever. Tell you what, life is on such a fast ride that I have just become a puppet in its hands. My objectives have become - getting a seat in the 9:10 local (else screw your a** standing for an hour, wonder how some morons sit till the train literally stops at CST), reaching my workstation by 10 AM (where 'sometimes' the no. of hours you spend in front of the PC is directly proportional to the percentage hike in March), call a bunch of morons as colleagues without a choice, then catch a train from THE most busiest station with humidity touching atleast 90% day in and day out, then reach home to discover that Chapatis are too thick to eat, then some mandatory calls with a lots of artificial smiles and lies because the person in front will be disturbed with any deviations from a normal ideal lifestyle, then watch some of Arnab/Rajdeep/Barkha (I equally love Vikram/Sagarika/Shirin) and finally hit the bed thinking what exactly I've added to my LIFE than to just my pre-designed and programmed KRAs.

Hey, I'm not cribbing about my life, I got a great boss n some outstanding people around, few amazing friends, a decent paycheck on the 1st of every month (if no errors happen by my own team!), CCD outings n my lovely Devil's Own (thanks Nivi), and my Mumbai... This city is insanely awesome. It still holds me with its splendour even after 6 years.

And I fight with my best friend over whether Bheendi should be a menu in dinner right inside a mall, I let my brother sleep with mosquitoes after telling him that he's my favourite, I let my colleague handle the same things after being a repeated offender in committing the same mistakes infinite times. I don't do all these deliberately, then why do I do!

I miss my parents every day, since past 6 years. Then what options do I have! I can't go there, they don't like staying here and we just are stuck in this missing game. I miss all those places I've stayed and all those people I've met during each such hot afternoon like today. Remember such November afternoons with just Mom n brother around (on holidays, I never loved my schools though), doing almost nothing apart from bullying my brother and showing that I'm the big bro of the house. Today, I just sleep and look outside my window pane, check old mates in Facebook [and some regular profiles that gives you the kick;)], think about what's in store at the workplace the next day, call people who needs to be called... and those who used to be your everyday buddies are called after being put as reminders in the calendar :(

I call myself a 'positive' person when asked to describe in a word when an interviewers ask me, people around me find that I can tackle situations with ease (only I know that a solution to all the problems are a distant possibility). But that is not the truth entirely, and you can see that in what I write. Each time I promise that I'll write about happiness, celebration and joy, I end up writing about things around me which influences me and my actions. And more or less they do sound negative, even if they are not. Not able to help it, helpless and hapless.

I am tired, plain tired. Just tired of the life I am leading. I never had these 2-year or 5-year plans-of-actions but with such a life where every hour has an objective attached to it, where am I heading! I am not scared of the responsibilities, deadlines or the relationships. I have never been an escapist. But the question is ‘at what cost’! With each passing day, the answer to that question is becoming difficult to think of. And that exactly is what killing me from inside. The answer definitely can not be to leave and go for a self-discovery trip, it can also not be just go back home with some business plans (had proposed around half a dozen so far to Dad only to get rejected). May be, I am not a 10-6 (assuming 8 hrs of work per day as per the Labour Law) guy, but again till the time I am not the son of Mr. Mallya I do not have the liberty of doing what I love and loving what I do (not stealing this from RIM, you morons).

I used to rule theworld
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

- Coldplay

The Ones that Moved Me! (Part - I)

2011-09-21T22:18:00.001+05:30

There are cinemas that are made with a lot of sincerity butthey somehow do not click. There are films which are completelycommercial-driven, and they really work with the masses. And then there arecinemas which are honest without any added gloss, they not only click butremain with you for long. As long as you love yourself. Because they are justan extension of yours. In the last decade till now, there only a few which haspushed the bar of Indian cinema creating new benchmarks for others to follow. Someof the movies were stuck in between when nobody wanted to produce them, butwhen they got a helping hand, there was no more stopping. Even the audienceswere ready to accept the product with open arms.

I look back to the last decade till date, to find some ofthose films that made a mark in the hearts more than the box office. Some ofthem managed to get the commercial success as well. This list would again besubjective as I have skipped few movies as have not seen them yet. Also,this list depicts my own set of movies and does not necessarily presenteverybody’s taste.

2000

Fiza

When a critic and writer debuts, his own fraternity will be eagerly waiting to either shower praise orrip everything apart. And Khaleed Mohammed delivered something that would atleast please thecritics. It did, to some extent it pleased the audiences too but majorly it didn’twork. Obviously so, technically pretty strong a movie, well supported by spiritedperformances of Hrithik and Karishma (lone movie where I believed she tried tooveract the least). Loved the under-current and the intent. With many flaws inbetween, the movie was meant beyond the obvious. End of it ‘loved’ Mrs.Bachchan as usual.

2001

Dil Chahta Hai

Who will expect a guy in his late 20s, will deliver a moviethat will not become a cult but also create so many marks itself. It revivedthe career of Saif Ali Khan, brought Akshaye Khanna back into limelight andAamir went a step higher in his list of great movies. Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy gavethe best possible music, quite to the liking of youth. The story was about 3friends and the journey of their life which has been showcased without much ofthose clichéd drama. The entire nation’s youth loved the movie and it was hugesuccess. Farhan Akhtar arrived not only with a bang but hiked the bar for otherdirectors.

Rehna Hai Tere Dil Main

How many times have you seen love stories on celluloid thathave left a mark within you, RHTDM for sure made a mark after it was a wash outfrom the theaters for lack of promotion. The movie was a craze amongst the allclasses/masses with some innocent but gripping acting by Madhavan and wellsupported by Diya Mirza. Both debuted in Hindi cinema with another debutante director. Madhavan made Saif look miniscule by his acting prowess. The screenplaylooked pretty well-knitted making the audience stay glued to each of the scene. The story had nothing to surprise you, but had enough moments to make you love it again and again.

2002

The Legend of Bhagat Singh

Some infinite number of movies released during this phase onMr. Bhagat Singh, making his popularity touch new heights. But sittingsomewhere in the heaven, Mr. Singh must have felt pretty bad seeing almost allof them interpreting him so badly and terribly overacting by the characters.The one that stood out was directed by Rajkumar Santoshi and Ajay Devgan in thelead. Two true professionals who gave their best to recreate the history in itspurest form. Non-period-movie-lovers like me too loved it. A R Rahman’s music and background score was upto the mark and the story-telling was notch higher thanthe movies based on the same content. It makes you think & question few things about the history.

2003

Teen Deewarein

By now, Nagesh Kukunoor was well-known as a hatke director who always pushed thecontemporary film-making. He could possibly do it because he never aimed at thebox-office. With this movie, he again didn’t enjoy the claps of the masses buthe ensured he establishes himself firmly amongst those who really understandstory-telling and film-making. Three stories told by three differentprisoners which actually are inter-related. Excellent editing and crispbackground score made this slow-paced flick a decent watch. All the three leads(which include Nagesh himself) were pretty meticulous.

Gangaajal

Prakash Jha always made movies which were based on an“India” we never want to see on a 70mm screen. Because when we enter that darkroom for 3 hours, we want to go on a dreamy ride which only shows us goodthings, things we always aspire to be. He always stuck to his style of moviesthat will be based on some or other issues we face in our daily lives. Withthis movie, he reached almost the entire country as it went on to become one ofthose films which was appreciated by the classes and masses hands down. AjayDevgan as the lead actor probably gave one the most important performances inthe Indian Film Industry. This act of his will be remembered for long time. Nosuch songs (apart from a sleazy item number by then an unknown lady who is nowa wife of a respectable family), no colorful locales and good-looking stars,the movie was power-packed by so many good actors that you will be leave thetheatre asking for more. The nexus between mafias, politicians and thehelplessness of the police is perfectly blended with emotions and anger is whatmakes this movie worth remembering.

2004

Khakee

Quite like Gangajal, this movie again depicts the root ofcorruption inside the police department. But set in a different society withdifferent issues. Studded with many stars and successful songs the movie had abuzz before it entered the theatres. But Rajkumar Santoshi ensured that hisscreenplay won’t loosen up and he kept the grip on the audience with some greatscenes defending the police department. Mr. Bachchan is outstandingly awesomein his role as an ACP (if I can remember). He was the lone star who shinedabove all and his scenes were powerful enough to question the police departmentand appreciate it at the same time. Actors like Ajay Devgan were wasted but themovie garnered good response. Slightly plagiarized in its presentation, the movie was a good watch for a cinema-goer.

Lakshya

When a Director debuts with a movie like Dil Chahta Hai, then the expectationwould be sky-high for his next. He came back and he was even a notch higher. Lakshya was such a matured product thatit presented the Indian Army and the battles they fought in a different coloraltogether. No melodrama, no exaggerations and no masala. It was a greatinsight into the way a normal soldier thinks and reacts to differentsituations, be it in his personal life or professional battles. Hrithik stoodup to the task and didn’t let Farhan down in his ambition to make a movie thathad all the risk of failing at the box office. It did fail but I’ll alwaysremember the return of a maestro to script-writing, the great Javed Akhtar. Theway human relationships has been shown is outstanding, be it betweentwo-lovers, friends or a father and son.

Maqbool

Vishal Bhardwaj is a man full of content, who always belivedin the works of Gulzar sa’ab, has decided to make a movie on the adaptation ofthe Shakespearan novel “Macbeth”. With cast like Pankaj Kapur, Tabu, Irfan Khanand an ensemble that boasts powerhouse actors, the movie is a must-watch. Evenfor those who knew the theme of Macbeth, still loved it due to the intenseacting by the actors and great narrative by Vishal. Unlike Chetan Bhagat’smoronic masala stories turned into even horrible movies, this is a gem asVishal kept so many moments that will stay with you for long.

Raincoat

Rituparno Ghosh has made some good movies, but I have seenthis particular movie where I went back to the days of watching someshort-films in Doordarshan shot in a single room with some countable actors.Ajay Devgan and a de-glamed Aishwarya Rai will keep you hooked till the endwith this poignant love story. A story told, enacted and presented in thesimplest way possible is what clicks to me. But this movie never had the massappeal nor was intended for them. For a change, Aishwarya was looking morecomfortable in this kind of set-up than Ajay.

Swadesh

After a thunderous response to the Oscar-nominated Lagaan,Ashutosh Gowariker came with a movie where he worked with a star unlike theactor in Lagaan. But what followed is one memorable movie which will possiblyremain one of best work of Shahrukh Khan. Failed in the box office for ‘missingthe point’, technically the movie was almost there. Based on “braindrain” andhow a man’s journey brings him back home, Ashutosh handled the subject prettywell with few flaws here and there. But it will remain as a movie which remindsme of my hometown each time I see it and compels me to go back.

Yuva
Mani Ratnam shot this movie both in Tamil and Hindi andboth versions fared very well in the box-office. Atleast the Hindi re-launchedthe career of Abhishek Bachchan. The editing and the screenplay were somewhatsimilar to Teen Deewarein, but Yuva was technically more sound and farbetter presented. Mani did not leave any stones unturned in terms of extractingthe best performances from all his leads. The movie will always be rememberedfor its rawness, magic of the city Kolkata, natural performances (apart from Mr.Oberoi) and some breathtaking sequences.

2005

Black Friday
Delayed by some infinite light years, Anuraag Kashyap’s Black Friday finally saw the daylight in2005. But by now neither the director, producers nor any actor in it wereexpecting it to be a hit in the cinemas across. They wanted the world to see itthorough any medium. When I saw it, I realized for how many years some greatactors efforts were lying in the dust thanks to our great censor board. Therewere atleast 10/12 actors who today are still trying to make a mark for themdue to the delay of this movie. Kay Kay Menon, Pawan Malhotra to name just afew. It’s the first docu-film which I really loved due to the amount ofin-depth analysis gone into the making of it and great acting. It was a great depiction of the Mumbai blasts without any commercial value added to it.

Iqbal
Nagesh Kukunoor finally thought of going commercial and hemade Iqbal with Mukta Arts (SubashGhai). A simple story of a guy who can neither speak nor listen and his wish toplay Cricket for the National Team. Shreyas Talpade did a great job ablysupported by Mr. Nasseruddin Shah. It is one of those kind of cinemas where youknow what’s going to happen but still love to watch every moment of it. Thedirector is the clear winner here. (Incidentally, this was Nagesh’s lastsuccess venture in commercial cinema; he is still struggling to make a goodmovie since)

Viruddh

Sometimes I feel bad for immensely talentedpeople who never get the right support to showcase what they can deliver.Mahesh Manjrekar is one such man, each time he is given freedom, he comes upwith something so spectacular that it leaves you shocked (Vaastav, Astitva, City of Gold). An excellentstory-teller, he presents stories taken out of the small instances that happenin our daily lives. A small, simple and sweet story of a family whose onlyson (John Abraham) works abroad, comes home on a trip and gets killed in anunexpected accident by a son of influential person. Then starts one greatjourney by his parents Amitabh Bachchan and Sharmila Tagore to get justicefor him. There are certain moments in the movie which will not only leave youchoked but will make you literally disturbed. That’s the power Amitabh/Mahesh can create on the celluloid.

(2006 - 2011 to follow in Part - II)

My Days with NAB

2011-09-05T01:39:00.000+05:30

When you are in your early teens, you feel like doing wondersin your life. All larger-than-life dreams floating around. A late teenager addsand subtracts some colours in those dreams. Then comes the phase of earlytwenties where you feel that it’s time to get serious about life. Actually allthese phases were more or less hallucinations till you close in and cross 25.Then you have the fire to do something worth, instead of the regular dreams thateveryone has. I have more or less gone through all these phases and ended upleaving my home and coming to a distant place to pursue my management studies,which in turn made me understand that life is also about a lot of such dreamswhich actually makes some sense.

NAB, Worli, Mumbai

NI started my first job with a lot of pre-conceived notionsthat I had with me during my MBA. It all started fading with each passing dayand I started understanding that it is pretty easy to seat in an air-conditionedroom and discuss with all the intellects. But it becomes pretty difficult toactually go out and do the field work. When I joined my second job, all I wantedwas to explore new aspects of HR. Then came a day when my super boss threwthis idea of how to enable ‘blind people and make them industry ready’ to meand how can we help them. He neither gave me a proper plan of action nor anybudget. So I had to start with a hardcore ground work where I initiated gathering details of all those places where there is a structured way of blind people being managed. Then I realized that in such high-rate of blindness in our country,we have hardly any organization that maintains a good standard of education for them and make them employable. With suchmixed responses, I found one place. A place which we zeroed in on when we wereabout to give up. It was National Association for the Blind. Based in betweensome posh apartments of Worli, sea-facing, badly maintained but hugein size.

This is where they get computer basics training at NAB

When I thought that going there, understanding them andshortlisting the final is the toughest task, I realized my job is just halfdone. When the nine of them came on board, I knew what was lying ahead of me. Ihad number of sessions with the internal trainers on how to go about thetraining process. The normal module of training is designed with a 3 month class-room work, butwe decided to extend it to 5 months and keep 1 extra month in hand so as toensure the students will be fully equipped with the required technicalknowledge and will be at par with any normal person at work. And the day has come,the first day, first show. It was not as chaotic as I thought, but it surelykept me engaged whole day. We had sketched each minute details of their day today requirements such as their seating arrangements keeping in mind that theywill require the least time to reach to the refreshment rooms! We have trainedthem how to reach our office from the railways station through the shortest waypossible, though they were quite well-versed in travelling in local trains. I meanthey need to be followed on how to travel, they are so damn sharp and puteffort where it actually is required unlike so many of us who are always onrampage.

We, the humans, are going away from celebrating whatever wehave in the quest of having new things every moment. But I learned from themhow to live every moment and be happy about whatever comes my way. You willbe surprised with the kind of wit they possess and their sense of humor. I neverunder-estimated them, but never expected that they will come up with some awesomeone liners on demand! They also are sensible to people around them, they doemote but not artificially like most of us. For they already have gone throughphases where they had accepted a curse being forced on them. You give them anoccasion, you give them the smallest possible reason, and they will celebrateit as if it’s their own joy. They do fall in love, they do get rejected andthey do have a life with all those events just like any of us.

The primary issue with all of us is that we do not valuewhat we have today. We realize the value of it once we lose it. For these outstandinglydedicated people, life is one beautiful thing out of which they have alreadylost something, so they do not want to miss the rest of it. They love, theylive and they bring life back into dead souls like us who just are running aftersome pre-defined goals set for everyday life.

These bunch of extraordinarily talented people has made me feelone thing which I may never be able to experience again, it’s that surrealfeeling which is literally an out of the world experience. It makes me feelthat I am in so much better condition and still not as happy as them, still notas lively as them and still not as dedicated as them.

(There’s somuch more I can add in here, I can go on, but may be I can never express what Iwent through in those six months of the project. It was an assignment carriedout by me with great support of by the management of my previous organization. Iwill always be indebted to Ms. Heartina Mathews (from NAB) & Mr. ShantanuLajmi (COO – VPT) for their support throughout.)

Where are You!

2011-08-30T13:30:00.000+05:30

Life's moving on, so are the timelines, priorities and responsibilities. I don't know where exactly life's moving towards. I am very much aware of the fact that where my professional life heading towards, where my priorities lie and where I belong today.

Your life is the sum of the choices you made. I made some correct ones, so many wrong ones. But do all those have any significance today or will they impact tomorrow! Sometimes I feel I am just keeping my pace up with the race that I am a part of today. The so-called term "value-addition" that I read & lectured some uncountable times during my MBA, is looking so hazy today. May be I need to have few add-ons in my professional life to make it up for the void that I feel inside me. May be I need to go back to the basics and start doing few corrections in my priorities. May be I am sounding weird, may be I need treatment, but I really do not believe that I stand at the wrong end.

I don't know, but I feel that I need to give more time to 'me' which is on an ever diminishing mode since long. May be that's going to give me some clarity, may be that's going to show me where I am, where I am moving on and where do I stand in my life.

Peaceful Eid & Happy Ganesh Puja [miss those golden and much anticipated Ganesh Pujas I was a part of during my school/college days with new clothes :( ]

Till When...

2011-07-21T12:06:00.001+05:30

Well, this post is not the result of anything that has happened a week back. My 6 years stay. 3 such moronic acts. That’s like once every 2 years. Now no one is immune to it, but we all have become used to it. We are used to it so much that it’s just like any other thing that keeps happening. These have become like either a pre-diwali or a post-diwali event for a group of people. I will again reiterate that I am no way influenced with the last event that happened, but yes, I am just sick of the events happened throughout the last decade or so. It starts right from the top, Kashmir, to every part of the country. Today we have no identity of terror unlike few years back when we very proudly used to discuss about a particular community or religion. Let’s not give terror the colour of green, saffron or white. That’s irrelevant.

The best part with us is that we are so used to all these that we tend to forget everything next morning. Else, when India wins a Cricket match or we see a masala movie or get a seat in the peak hours in the local train. These small things make us forget everything. We may not accept it, but this actually is the truth. It’s not just me but a majority of us today feel quite indifferent towards these events not because of the frequency of these acts but mainly due to some or all of the following:

First of all, we need to stop terming Mumbaikars or for that matter people of any city ‘Resilient’ and keep on saluting the ‘fighting spirit’. It is our livelihood that that gets us back on the track the very next day. We are actually helpless. We are helpless at the hands of the administration. We go back to work because we need to survive; we do not go back because we want to show our strength. Instead we have become so weak that we do not even have the courage to go out and help those who become the immediate victims of these attacks. We run for our life and catch the next transport mode and rush in to our homes to survive. But survive till when, till the next blast!

We are at the mercy of a bunch of inept politicians who are our administrators. Such massacres are primarily happening in big cities instead of Tier – C or D cities, where we boast of the best possible security. I pass through one of the biggest stations in India everyday which should ideally have strong security system, more so when it has been targeted just 2 years back. But today, its security can again be caught sleeping thanks to the sloppy and laidback attitude. Its safety will continue to remain at stake till it gets attacked again. Precisely, this is the situation at almost all the places in cities where the security is beefed up only when it is attacked.

Today we are sick, hapless, tired and incapable of taking any step in ensuring our own safety because the entire administration is corrupted. We do not have a choice to choose whom to elect as our able leader as everyone them is in the same boat. Today we decided that surviving a day is our main objective. But with this attitude, where exactly are we heading to? And more importantly, what kind of world are we going to present to our children. They will grow with fear, insecurity and helplessness from the outset.

It just cannot happen that terror comes into our town without the help of anybody. This is, for sure, a nexus between our politicians, the police and people masterminding it from outside. This might sound as a big allegation against our system that is there to guard us, but the truth is they have failed to do so for some uncountable times. This is happening again and again and everyone’s just watching it as if we really do not have any solution to it. If terrorism is such a global phenomenon, why its frequency is so rare in countries US, UK, Australia, China or for that matter in places like Dubai!

We cannot say the people have moved on and will continue doing so. They are angry, disgusted and hurt. They are made to feel like this time & again. I might sound quite odd but I somehow feel that as a helpless citizen we might go the Rang De Basnti way. We might end up taking up charge in our hand and showing our leaders the road to God. It may not be the only or the ideal way out but with time it will become the most practical or workable way out. I, as a citizen, have decided not run home the next time I survive. I’ll be there for those who will again be indirectly attacked by our administrators.

My Sixth Encounter...

2011-06-14T14:00:00.002+05:30

June '06
June was ending. The train slowed down as it was approaching the final destination after a 37 hour journey. It was drizzling outside. Reached a place called Belapur after one more hour travel. It was windy & pouring outside. Got down and headed for Kharghar to find my new college and the hostel. Clueless about almost everything apart from just one thing. Rains. It was simply all over. My first glance from the auto rickshaw of my new place for study was a great feeling. Throughout dad's stay for three and half days, it kept on raining. We both did not like it, did not dislike as well.

November '07

The noise in the hostel was dying. Placements started. Rains were almost over. But I remember those quiet nights with the sound of rains falling on the empty plain spaces of Kharghar. The sound of it, the smell and the feeling is beyond words. The feeling of batch-mates leaving each other after two years, the hostel & the college, everything summed up in those drops of rains.

July '08

Life has changed a lot with no more proxies, no more late submission of projects or going for a good place to eat out when the canteen food did not click. Just one fine morning, you find yourself inside a local train. Then you have to get down at a place called Kurla (where it becomes a war-like-situation every morning) which becomes more so awesome in monsoon. After 3 months of work, rains made my life haywire with the first floor of my office almost immersed in water. That year, I had one heck of a journey!

July '09

After my hardship period in the year 2008, God was kind enough to send me to a place which is just just 15 minutes by train and the office was inside the station complex. I still struggled thanks to my habit of reporting late to office. The prime reason was taking things for granted. I always thought I will make it in time, which I could never manage. Monsoon was quite enjoyable from the window panes from my office. Many nostalgic moments have been experienced here.

July-Sept' 10

This monsoon saw many things happening in life, atleast professionally. A job change, a big office location shift, having my first male boss after 3 encounters with female counterparts. Went for a relaxing visit to home, again with my business plans and proposals only to get rejection from Dad, as always. Back to work, new place, and what a day to start, Onam. This particular festival becomes more relevant as my new workplace do have a majority who celebrate it. But you know what, we still do not have a holiday on this day. This precisely was the beginning of a time, when I became a workaholic even in terms of the no. of hours spent in the office. Work was carried to home, to coffee tables and even sometimes into the dreams. Just could not help, but enjoyed/ing every bit of it. Every new assignment became more interesting and something was always there to learn from it.

The rains have just arrived. But Mumbai is again not prepared to face it. Slow trains, traffic issues, ever under construction sites throughout, signs malaria & flu thanks to city administrators sincere efforts. But Mumbai never sleeps, never stops, actually it can't. We tend to forget everything and start enjoying these negative aspects. I just wonder how the young ones carry such heavy denims fully drenched and are least bothered about it while roaming in full fledged rain.

Always hated rain. For me, it's good to watch raining sitting at home without any possibility of going outside. But have been in the other side for last 6 years and acceptance has never became an issue. Honestly, Mumbai will teach & prepare you for almost everything, you can face any adversity in your life if you have stayed here. Experiencing one more monsoon, my 6th encounter at Mumbai's battleground. All wet, all prepared.

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By the way what rain could not hide or surpass 6 years back, were my tears coming down on 5th gear without any sign of stopping when my Dad left. Though it did, thanks to all those staring eyes in my new B-school canteen.

A Quarter of Missed Heartbeats...

2011-05-15T12:42:00.000+05:30

It's been a grueling past few months with almost every possible thing happening in the workplace. Have always tried balancing both the personal & professional life, but last 3/4 months has made me almost a machine. It has programmed me to the needs of various departments, people & the organization as a whole. It's not that I am not liking it, though it's too damn hectic, but what I realize is I have started missing few things that was/is on my priority list. Won't blame anyone apart from me, for not being able to balance it out.

Had taken few but effective initiatives in the ever going to attempt of 'Change Management'. It is a constant process and will take long. Aligning mindsets, overcoming the resistance to change & accepting differences are my core areas to work for these days. With my little and negligible experience in the corporate world compared to other Gurus, but loaded heavily with my experience of understanding and analyzing people, I look forward to take baby steps. I am okay in going slow, but not going backwards or not giving up in the middle. I know it that one thing which is key in any Change Management process is - Patience. One needs a lot of that while expecting a change. So everyday I am honing that skill, will need to take it to such a level where setbacks will not make me feel negative anymore. Started celebrating small victories in this ongoing process instead of waiting for some IBM or GE like turnaround. I am not saying their examples have become overrated or clichéd, but I surely know that my organization surely not belongs to 'that' league. Just finished a workshop on the same theme - Navigating CHANGE. It seems to have some impact on the employees. A good start which needs to be carried forward.

The IPL is going on and on, so is the daily schedule. But Mamta & Jaya really made their presence felt in the democracy. Missed my blog for 44 days before could write something. Mamma says I am not calling her regularly, says I am changing. Bro is of the opinion that I kind of forgotten him, changing. People around saying my priorities are changing. The fact of the matter is no one likes to change, it's just about accepting differences and little bit more understanding. Belated Happy Mother's Day and all those Birthdays I missed. One tight hug to you all.

This Is The Day...

2011-04-02T00:04:00.002+05:30

Waiting since 1992. Because that's when I started understanding this game. Since then have witnessed 5 of this mega event, each with its share of emotions attached to it. Won't talk about our performances in each of its edition. Coz that's past, let's not live in past records anymore. Let's not just look at that ever-happy moment of Mr. Kapil Dev lifting that cup, let's not keep feeling bad of how close we were to lift the same 8 years back. It's been close to 3 decades since we won our only World Cup, been close to 2 decades of my loyalty with it & nearly a decade of mourning of being so close. I would be watching this World Cup as a bachelor for the last time. The God himself might be playing his last World Cup (but surely not retiring) and this edition will see a lot of Greats of our generation playing for one last time who will be remembered always in the history of this addictive, hysteric & great game called Cricket. If there's anything that completely stops the 1.2 billion people functioning, it's this game. The amount of love, anticipation & power that it generates can never be equaled any other in this country. And in the era of Cricktainment, it is only going to increase. Though we have grown up enough to give space to other sports to grow, but none of them will ever match the magnitude of Cricket's penetration in India. The day has come to redeem what we deserve, the day has come to decide our own fate and stop saying that you are playing for a man who himself is playing for the country for last 22 years. Play for yourself, better yourself & play for the country. The national anthem in the beginning of the game is more than enough to charge up & hearts of Indians all over the world will be beating with each of your boundaries & each wicket taken.

Let the show being with that sweet sound of ball hitting the bat and racing to the boundary in no time. No need to bleed blue or red. It's time to rise to the occasion. Finals. Mumbai. Wankhede. 33137 die-hards inside. Noise. Bring them on.

Switch on the Music!

2011-03-22T21:27:00.000+05:30

Just one clean beat… that’s it. That’s more than enough to get me going. That strumming of guitar, that passage of the song where you go to a different world, those punches that sets you up. Right up there. The crooning, drooling & velvet voices. Music. It’s just 10 seconds, that all I need to like or dislike a track, some compositions are that strong. Some does take a bit more time, since they are like distant dreams. Not my dad, not my boss nor any important assignment or deadline, but only an awesome song can only wake me up in the morning. That’s how I can summarize my fixation, my addiction & my bond with music. My taste varies to almost all the genres, generations but with selective singers. Singing is a real talent man… I respect their community. So are the master lyricists behind each of such great songs. But the real genius is the man who creates everything, the composer. He is the ONE. Take a bow you Masters. What are you made up of! Won’t hesitate to write the cliché once again… Music is really my Life. Else, life will be without all those tiny little instruments that combines together to create one great sound.

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The World Cup is entering its knock-out stage in less than 24 hours and so far it’s not only been boring with minnows all around you but our very own Men in Blue making our mood go blue as well. Half of the matches appeared as if they are fixed to provide optimum entertainment value. Even the TRP so far is still less than IPL, seems entertainment is the only way forward. Modi boy, you destroyed everything in pursuit of hungama & now we are addicted! Bravo!

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Last 45 –odd days have been so hectic that I am not even in touch with any of my moronic buddies or for that matter family. Complaints getting registered everywhere (non-bailable warrants). It’s only mobile Facebook through that is keeping me alive as to what’s happening around. Else, I am into complete darkness in the social circuit. Marriage spree is on with people getting married as soon as they are getting leaves from their organizations. With my schedule, it seems I have to work it out on a Sunday (have to apply for it a year in advance with a proper hand-over and responding to calls even when you are on the mandap!). But still a long way for that, sigh! Journey to office in the morning has become such an awesome war-like-situation that everything else for next 2 hours inside the office looks so colorless! Now the journey will increase by 45 minutes by next quarter, and I am surely not loving it by any chance but love for the job is bit on a higher side. So far so good. Tired now. Where’s the music!

Never-ending "Hopes"

2011-02-18T16:05:00.000+05:30

When is the time that we lose 'hope'? Do we ever lose 'it'? I mean, more than once we say that I lost hope on this or that or almost everything. But while saying that we still have that 'hope' inside us which very categorically tells that anyhow we will make something out of the situation. Losing 'hope' has been a pretty common thing, more so these days. To be bluntly honest, we actually never lose 'it', we just say it for two simple reasons: either we do not have the skill or courage to find a solution for a particular situation or we just want to make a noteworthy statement. I do not see a third option here. Because, for years we have lived on this one thing, 'hope'. So it is simply not possible that one can just say that 'I have a hopeless life' or 'he is a hopeless brother' or 'this is a hopeless job'. Infact, nothing is 'hope'less till the time we tag it so. To put it in a pretty raw format - We sleep every night just with a simple 'hope' that the next day would be a better one. So we do not stand anywhere to claim that the events that occurs on a particular day as 'hope'less, instead we should find a way out of them. And I believe this is where attitude does play a vital role which differentiates between those love the blame-game and those who work their way out of situations thrown at them. It's not just one song that made Bryan Adams an icon who he is today, it's not those tons scored by Sachin (so many of them for a losing cause) that made him a God today, it's not just the adjectives Harsha Bhogle uses or the shows he does made him a great person to listen; it's their dedication, their attitude to stick to something they always believed in and their 'hope' to take the skill in whatever field they are to the next level which made them a brand today. We all hope, that tomorrow will be a better day. But all we do is leave it upto others to make it. It just can't work that way. If a society, a city or nation works, it is the people who make it work. It is the people who make it look good, bad or ugly. 'Hope' is the first step and working on it, is the second. The result will always be one thing: sweet. I could have written success but not all the time the result becomes a success no matter how much hard work has been put in, but whenever you give your everything, the experience will always be 'sweet' and that will culminate into a new & a larger 'hope' again, which in turn will give birth to aspirations. All these things are interlinked and provokes us to go higher in life in whichever field we are and in whatever way it is possible.
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February denotes a lot of celebrations, but being away from family constraints them. My regular diary entries somehow did not leave me with anything to put in the blog. Mumbai's a bit cold this year and sweeter than ever before. And writing this entire thing with a feverish body, a nostalgic heart due to the slow afternoon breeze and a mind full of old memories is what makes the life so painfully perfect.

Oh Lord, give me that time machine!

Version 3.0

2011-01-30T13:22:00.002+05:30

Almost after 2 quiet and lonely days, today's Sunday. Sundays becomes nostalgic if you are not inside a bloody mall and shopping. Being bachelor has all these pros and cons attached to it. But it's a tag that I still like next to my name, atleast till the time I can push the inevitable ;) Over last few years in the corporates, I realized few things which always were my mental blocks. Became less emotional for the employees, started understanding situations from different perspectives, taking everyone around you into confidence and being simple in whatever I want to execute or implement. I always knew that everything that the B-school taught me can not be practiced in the real world but still tried my own things by covering some of those theories with my ideas. Few of them clicked, some did not and some got discarded instantly by bosses. So, with every passing month or year, I am experiencing new dimensions of looking and doing the same things in different modes. Talking about bosses, I feel too damn lucky to have great bosses to work with throughout. I know how much it matters to work under someone where you feel secured and independent. With a lot of journey to be covered professionally, just wish to have such people around me to guide me through and inspire me to push myself day in and day out.
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February or for that matter the rest of the year will be quite eventful with so many personal and professional grounds to be covered. February is full with anniversaries, birthdays and the big World Cup. The Cricket mania will continue till May end with the IPL following the World Cup. Hope Federer will be back this year and so is Schumacher. Less scams and more good cinemas. Waiting to experience 3G and a new office premise some time soon. Let's see how all these things roll out as the days are running so fast in Mumbai.

A Year To Look Forward...

2011-01-26T20:45:00.001+05:30

   Will start with 'Dhobi Ghat' as it earned a first place in the hearts of many who watched it. Feel bad for those still not seen it, go watch it. Good cinema pushing the envelope of contrived movies and taking film-making to another level. Last year gave us 'Udaan', now 'Dhobi Ghat' is a good start to this year. Hope we can see some more film-makers coming in front & more importantly guys backing them up financially. Ronnie has been doing quite well since last few years and came up with few really good ones under 'UTV Spotboys'. Though few others trying their hand as well in this genre giving opportunity to young but talented guys to take up the directorial mantle but overall the scenario is not bright. But with biggies like Aamir coming up strongly with such movies, it only augurs well for an audience like me. Hope next few years will pave way for more content-driven cinema instead of commercial-driven cinema. Simple example, a movie like 'Dabaang' still becomes a hit and we still have takers for Munni but a movie like 'Udaan' took 7 years to complete as the director didn't have enough resources to finish it up before Anuraag Kashyap & others stepped in. But both products are poles apart and still sells. Expecting more Udaans in next few years.
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   Had my first visit to Pune in 5 years stay in Mumbai but it was a worth a day! Though it was an official visit but loved every bit of it as got some unintentional attachments with Pune as a city since the day I touched Mumbai. Be it my visit to Goa last month or Pune early this month, found that Mumbai is actually too, too fast in everything. So once you step out of Mumbai you realize that you got to slowdown in order to get in tandem with the wavelength of the people of that particular city. Salaam Mumbai!
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   Office schedule is only becoming hectic with each passing day & sapping all the energy I require for my blog. Even it made me wear glasses! Many a times an instant thought strikes the mind or an observation compels me to write something. But again the delay is taking them all away. Need to find a way to note them & bring it back to the laptop. Mumbai is bit cold these days which makes this city even more beautiful and romantic. Did I say 'romantic'? Yes, it really is. Though I have got no intention in writing this to make a statement of some kind, but the heart goes into the wildzone sometimes and makes it tough to pass those cold evenings alone ;)

Year End Dry Thoughts...

2010-12-31T21:56:00.002+05:30

After long getting some time for yourself is really a welcome change. Amongst all the mismatched schedule and last minute no-shows the soothing sound of unending waves are more than enough to take you to an introspective ride. So I went to so many such rides and it really made up for my lost water rides due to bad health. Goa, has its own charm and it lies in its sheer small little things. Be it the old-styled homes, simple people, narrowest possible roads, no-rush-to-modern ethos in every corner. Life goes for a sudden break and throws you to the relaxed seat. You start noticing these tiny little things of life and relish it again and again. Such places makes me tell myself that I can still be the same person without so many things I feel is essential for life. I, as a person, keep a low profile for many reasons and it works. Off late, this status of mine has been tampered by people as well as by me in some cases. But a sharp SWOT analysis has given me the result that I could still have done the same things without crossing my low-profile status. But I did. Then why? To prove something to others or to make my presence felt in the social circuit! Such race, to be there in limelight, never was on priority list, so it makes me think that I should have hold back myself in some situations instead of making them so evident. Basically, I feel it's time to look at those small things of life, watching which I grew up & got a better understanding of life.

Well 2010 will be remembered as a year that had an inclination towards negativity than positive news. But it will definitely make me stronger as a person in future. Professional life is on track and hope the leap would reap something better than ever. Personal life remained not-so-happening as usual complex. So one of my new year plan is to have clarity in the personal life. Well, no clichéd resolutions, but getting into some good health and learning few new languages is also on the list of things to do. December was a quite a busy month with my birthday being the most hectic one. But the work kind of gave me some new pulsating energy and made me like it. 'Hope' will be a non-existent word in my dictionary next year onwards. Concluded that it really does not have any meaning nor it has any importance in life.

Wishing you all 365 happy days with each day having a story to tell & a memory to share (and less rain;).
Love.

May Be...

2010-11-26T18:06:00.000+05:30

November will be over in next few days. Rains still holding their fort with drizzles here & there. Rajnikant SMSs are doing the rounds and I am still getting late to office. Today the nation remembers ‘another’ dreadful day we gone through 2 years before in Mumbai & that crook is still getting fed in our jail. Today, one of my current company’s most ambitious and fast growing business format completes 3 years as well. Even it tops in attrition amongst the other divisions, all a part & parcel of the business. Today, also the shraadh of my grandfather. A great principled man, who ‘lived’. After repeated denials by my father regarding my ambitious business projects (I go with a new proposal & a concept, each time I go home), I decided to concentrate fully on the job front. Still that longing for home kills me inside even when I (almost) get raped inside a local train almost every morning or eat that crappy sandwich in the lunch. Home’s home, come what may. My friend lost her mother at a time when he still has miles to cover in his life. It’s not that feeling of people leaving us that makes me feel numb & introspective, but the mere feeling of being away from them & going blank in their absence. Life has become a 24 hour cycle with an objective attached to each hour and carrots you will get on completing them. We are revolving around it, may be we are going closer to the materialistic targets we have set for ourselves like buying that awesome touchscreen phone or the best car or the dream home. May be we are in a way going beyond our last generation, may be. But in between all these, I feel I am going away from my closed ones, more importantly I am losing more & more time to spend with them. But in this life, we are left with very few options, to choose any one of them seems almost impossible. Life’s one f***ing dream we chase endlessly. And it’s so insanely pleasurable!

Sunday Bites...

2010-10-31T13:30:00.003+05:30

Was a part of a great training session yesterday. Was interesting coz it was a Sales training. Mindsets do change a great deal when the domains differ! Had to miss a get together of a friend who is getting married next month. I have missed his invitations time & again due to the difference in demographics. And today’s a Sunday, a lovely morning. Sundays have their own memories, it’s gives you a feeling of family time and good delicious lunch with them. And a fun evening with friends. These days it is just a lunch with all attempts to make it delicious and evenings spent in the malls with friends. Anyways, no nostalgias, this blog is anyways full of nostalgia & melancholies. No good movies have come for sometime now, wait is getting longer. Family coming next weekend, so Diwali will be spent as usual with them but this time in Mumbai. One more person expired untimely last night; count is 2 in last one month. All these things make us believe how precious life is, how fortunate we are!

I Wonder...

2010-09-14T11:15:00.001+05:30

I wonder how a large chunk of people very smartly but conveniently portray an image of a citizen very much concerned about the real rural India, the aam junta aka ‘mango people’ and show the connection they have with them. They also are the ones who seldom travelled through different parts of the country apart from some luxurious beaches and selected hill stations. They avidly read the ‘internet’ editions of the newspapers to ‘connect’ with the people! And they visit the sports websites to know about the most irrelevant matches & upcoming cricket teams around the world, including teams from countries even historians won’t recognize. They love to visit the best of the restobars to have a go at a premium scotch with the best of the chicken delicacy and then suddenly jump into discussing about the rotting grains. Nothing wrong in discussing about your own country sitting in a cozy pub, but thinking that you only know everything, you only understand the country and you have seen enough life is like Amar Singh talking about his concerns for poor and administration skills!

The good thing is that these people do keep themselves updated and generally have a good knowledge base, but bad part is they become intellectual hypocrites (could not find a better word here). And the number of such people is on a rise in India which is quite alarming. They are the self proclaimed know-alls like our very own moral brigades. Only difference is the brigades go on vandalizing public properties, and these guys forget where is their ‘switch off’ button to the never ending self-owned-self-approved-database.

Some very common examples/arguments these people get into are comparing personalities they root for just to showcase their connection with people. And they always differentiate these personalities based on their ‘popularity’ not their ‘credibility’! They root for Himesh singing quality as compared Shaan/KK giving the big excuse that the ‘masses’ listen him. They back Salman’s acting ability to Ajay’s saying that he reaches to the mass. They believe a Suhel Seth is a crap compared to Lalu Yadav as Suhel only talks. And Lalu works! I wonder. They give statements like Vinod was a better player than Sachin(they claim their coach said it) but as Sachin showcased himself, that’s why he got selected. I mean for God’s sake, you are questioning Sachin’s credibility; and it’s not like Vinod never has been given a chance to play for the nation! These corporate guys sit in their office canteens to discuss what they saw in NDTV last night, but when being confronted will pass comments that it’s very easy for these ‘English news channels’ and their ‘panelists’ to just talk than go to the grassroots’ level to see what’s happening. But they forget those who are sitting in the panel have either come from ground zero or have seen more life than them. Basically, these people have logic of their own to fight for their ‘mass figures’ with their own statistics and always shy away when a constructive argument kicks off and deviate the topic to any extreme at any point. They talk about promoting sports other than cricket but never complaints about the infrastructure our government provides them. They believe that it is not easy to manage such a big country and we should just let things work as it is working since ages. They also read Economic Times and blogs but hate those who create it saying that they only belong to ‘class’ not the ‘mass’. They talk about ‘women emancipation’ and at the same time believe that a woman’s real place is in kitchen not anywhere outside!

The problem with such pseudo-intellect-hypocrites is primarily their ‘ego’ and a ‘thinking’ which they create with their own rules, and these ingredients finally result in making them feel that they are the ‘best’. Worse is, they even tell that they are the best… gosh! The greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could become. They change their priorities often just to pop their head out in the crowd without thinking what are they leaving behind. A time will come they themselves will wonder how to define ‘priorities’!

Life These Days...

2010-08-30T22:06:00.001+05:30

It’s more than a month since I touched upon the blog spot. Time flew, and how! Home trip and mom were at their best. Well I conveniently forget my bro & dad each time I describe about home, no such reasons. Not exactly a Mumma’s boy as well ;) Had got plans not to come back, but each time circumstances backed by my real practical father kick me out to Mumbai. As I reached Mumbai last week to prepare for one battle at a new ground, the heart told me that “dude, not again”. Just consoled it by saying “just once more, one last time”. New people around, environment is more like a family out there in the workplace. Problem is I’ll be the catalyst to make things organized, do I need to do that? Sometimes, I feel we should let things happen as they are happening for years, with their own stupid ways and mistakes. Good that way. Anyways, need to mind my own job. Few new gadgets are in the queue to be bought, economy crunch is denying me, but I always defied my crunches with more spending. So this time it would be no different. Read somewhere that you should buy what you need, not what you want. Has done the later always in my life. Seems hard to change it. Hard to change anything in life, just anything.

Midnight Blah Blahs...

2010-07-30T00:34:00.012+05:30

This one's for you Madhavi & Shantanu.

It's another Friday dawn in few hours time. Just few more days before I bid adieu to my workplace. It's been great 18 months of awesome learning time there, mixed with all possible fun & diplomacy. 'Part of the game', is how our CEO summarized when he met my boss. It's easy to sit thousands of miles away and take decisions with an one-dimensional approach, but it becomes tough to get on with life when you are at the receiving end. It's just not a cakewalk to tell hundred-odd employees that 'hey guys, we all lost our jobs' just like that. Employees who had families had to see this day for no fault of ours and this is it.

Moving on with a high spirit is the only way to take from hereon. Has been doing the same since long now and wish to carry it on. Life's a b***h and it's f***ing beautiful too. So you don't have a choice, gotta live it. So some awesomely planned night-outs are in waiting in the next few days. A friend of mine objected to the word 'morality crap' in my last post, but to be honest it's too damn good to keep the morality sh*t away for some time and enjoy the life you have at that particular moment. Will miss colleagues, the workplace, the work & bosses. They all were meant to be missed. So that I can move on ;) Am I sounding a bit harsh guys! Yes, I am doing some net practice. You know why, one of India's leading corporate declined me after 3 rounds of interviews for one reason: You're too humble... You need to be aggressive. Really! And you morons took 3 rounds and 130 minutes to tell me this crap!

And finally on the funnier side, my mom & her sisters are hell bent on me to see a girl this time I go home, if not getting married right away (which I've strongly declined some 233 time in last one year). And it's raining marriages & engagements all around. People are on a joyride to marriage! Good for them. One quote before I shut my post tonight "when a man opens a car door for his wife, it's a either a new car or a new wife."

Wonders of Differentiating your Priorities

2010-07-26T17:27:00.007+05:30

Sometimes I wonder, where is the time for myself when all the people I love need the entire time, attention & whatnot! One vendor once remarked, “Sir you name it, we have got any stuff under the sun”. Here ‘stuff’ should not be misunderstood by that ‘stuff’. Money, in today’s world, can actually buy you happiness in all sorts of forms. You got to choose the right places to go for the shopping. Even wrong places will result in delivering some awesome experience minus the ‘morality’ crap ;)

I am different. I want to be different. These are kind of statements we hear from almost anyone & everyone. Most clichéd ones come from the film makers & actors. Be it corporates or business houses, they all are different. A singer says I could have sung this song so differently. And talks of some raags that Ustaad Bismillha Khan won’t understand. Our maid claims she is also different as she is doing so much work with such less monthly pay. Each of my friend says the kind of profile they are currently working on is so different than their previous one (post changing 4 jobs in 2.5 years) that it is no point comparing it to others profiles. One of them even gets a pay hike every 5-6 months! What an employer he is with… Dude, you are one piece; we love you so much you know. A couple is saying their pairing is so much different than others as they are so very practical. Wow, what a difference. Everyone is busy marketing him as different. I mean for God’s sake, where are we heading with all these differences? Himalayan ghats! Or Las Vegas! It’s about ‘accepting differences’ and getting on with a simplified and no-comparison lifestyle.

I also wonder how difficult it is to change the priorities in our lives! Let’s say right now, at this stage of my life, if I talk about a diversion into a different field than my current profession or getting into my own business, then there would be uncountable comments/suggestions/feedbacks that will start pouring in. Out of which more than half would be completely unwanted and incomprehensible. If I say my priority list has currently elevated my ‘family’ ahead of my ‘career’ then it would be my father who will be the first one to protest and ask me to put change that list! Priorities comes into picture often when there’s a girl, but I’m a bit experienced in that front after the initial struggle ;) We as a mankind are left with three things: faith, love & hope. Atleast, let’s not prioritize them.

Enough of wonderings (btw, there’s no such word as ‘wonderings’). Do hell with them, Alice has been to the wonderland & back. Get high, you will travel, think & act faster. Faster than you normally would do. I don’t need a Christopher Nolan telling me how to deal with my dreams. Dreams within dreams. Changed dreams…

P.S.: And hey I am done with you, monsoon. You are not travelling where you should and pouring down in Mumbai playing a spoiler for my weekend outs. So you better move your direction to places where famers need you. Stay off.

(Part of the credit of this end note goes to Jinu)

Getting Used to Capitalism!!!

2010-07-21T21:22:00.004+05:30

Day-1… The process starts. We knew it for a week now. Employees came to know about it today. It’s tough, real tough for them. Handling them is tougher even. HR at the job. Did something like this last year, but this year it is too damn hard. It involves all of us.Our COO broke the news to all the employees today. He himself is associated with this firm since inception, in fact he gave the name it has today to this company. Day is ending and just broke the news to the night shift employees as well.

16^th June, 8:53 PM.

27 Pints of beer & 4 pegs of scotch was necessary to sleep tonight… 2:12 AM

Day-2… Today is official day-2. HR team knew this a week back including me. Tried all possible options but nothing worked out. Problem is the top management sitting in US does not understand/look at the vision we all have/had. For them, it’s all about numbers, as businessmen it is correct though. We all worked with one thing, sheer passion. Now we are thinking the worth of it! Positivity is all around. Sounds unbelievable, but true. Employee returned the favor of goodwill they received from the management so far. Felt rewarded, may be its too late. But still it’s worth it. My trainees got the news today. Shattered, but not broken down. Sign of strength, bit by bit, everywhere. Power of positivity.

17^th June, 6.05 PM

Day-3… Done many CVs for myself. But doing CVs for others is quite a tough task. Made 9 CVs for employees from 4 different domains. They have their interviews scheduled. Few employee even didn’t turn up today uninformed. They cried 2 days back, today not to be seen. Split personalities! Going back in 5 minutes. Tired. For almost nothing.

18^th June, 7.20 PM

Day-6… Weekend’s over. Thanks to my bro, I am roaming around Mumbai as if I am on a roaming spree. But it helps me divert from these happenings around. It’s a Monday morning today. Boss in Goa and subordinate on leave. Don’t know what shall I do till my shift ends! People have started giving interviews and some of them got offers as well, I am yet to appear for one!

21^st June, 2:30 PM

Day-8… Days are occupied with counseling employees on how they can get through in other companies. How HRs will try to trap them (yes, giving away our secrets) and they will come out as a winner! So many firsts, preparing CVs of employees, helping them for interviews and discussing the offers they are getting. That’s all I/we can do as internal HRs. I am yet to start appearing for interviews, fuck appearing, yet to get a call even. People are giving all kinds of suggestions. Employees are checking their Orkut & FB accounts as there is no more firewalls. Many registering for the first time and having some good time. 80% of the production department is through as the sector they are into has got lot of opportunity in the market. And as usual, we HRs will get screwed again. I have myself enough time till I get something good. Let’s see what I have in store. I am going to have some good time, music, movies, good food, home trip, writing and what not…. No saddy feeling dear…. Hey God…are you listening??? Listen up, I am shouting and saying I AM NOT SAD nor I WILL BE.

23^rd June, 7 PM

Day-14…Had given my 1^st interview after a long gap. Good brush up. Also thinking to have a vacation. May be going home will be an good idea. 85% of the production are through. It’s easy for them as they have a specific expertise to work upon. HR will be stuck as usual. Don’t know what future holds. The tension is visible for the support staff even though they are trying hard to suppress it. Market is good, but openings are quite industry specific. Wonder whether the top management has ever given a thought to what will happen to 100-odd employees here in India! Or it’s just a strategic decision…typical American capitalists… BTW today’s the day I reached Mumbai few years back.

29^th June, 6:29 (sitting alone in the production floor at this time!)

Day-15… Why it is difficult to say bye to those who always work without getting the due recognition? May be the kind of work they do never required so much attention. Just said ‘bye’ to one person is housekeeping, has been very dedicated and sincere employee since long. Don’t know how to describe him because never talked to him much or know about him. But you always connect to few people without interacting much. And that connection stays till the end. Well, also saw 20 odd employee saying adieu today. They will be joining our prime competitor from tomorrow. Another lot will be leaving from next week. Meeting so many people for one last time in just one day is emotionally tough. Yet HR has to get on with its remaining work. So many files, papers and documents. Need to sort them, have so much time. Just one call and everything changed. Everything’s shattered. Life’s so uncertain.

30^th June, going to be 6 O’clock with almost no one in office.

Day-25… Sitting alone to complete some HRMS manual work.Alone in the entire office. 90% of the staff left. Only support staff reaming to some extent. Just for a record, where I am the only person to be logged in our messenger… not a single user apart from me.

9^th July, 9:30 me & may be some ghosts around me…

Day-30… Everything’s over. No more staffs left. Neither their grievances. Nor their cribbing anymore. But who wanted today to happen? At least the HR team never wanted. I sit today and find an empty production floor with some imaginary employees in my mind. True that we miss people after they leave, but also true that the top management can screw you anytime! Got few things in mind, a change in the sector or may be a diversion in career. Even own starting own things are on cards. But there’s still time, still miles to go before I die. Miles to go before I say goodbye.

Hail corporate culture, hail professionalism and hail the management!

16^th July, VPT, Belapur…

Version 2.0

2010-06-07T23:24:00.001+05:30

Life is all about reinventing yourself. We do the same work, we eat the same things, we go to the same office, we talk to the same people and we almost live the same life after we wake up on the same bed everyday. To be honest and practical, these things would remain the same. We can’t change these things. We can’t change our workplace thinking that our colleagues or boss will change; we might find the worse of them. Neither can we change daily happenings nor the surroundings. What we can change is the way we deal with them, the way we look at them, our perspective towards each such happenings and our approach. And that’s all about reinventing yourself. Professionally, I have grown from strength to strength in last 3 years. My approach has changed a lot and I have been 10 times more ‘pro-active’ now than ever before. Today, when I sit at my desk and look back 3 years and now, I find complete new version of myself. But at the same time, I feel even at this rate I have got to go a lot many miles before I declare that there’s nothing much learn. One can never say that “I am done”. No one is, no one will ever be. Few people do believe, they know almost everything and they are the best, believe me it’s a great feeling when you say this, but this is one such impossible thing to achieve.

It’s raining outside, few of the first showers of this monsoon, and I am looking through my window pane at office. Sky’s almost red, mild rain, smell of the earth (can feel it, without even opening my window) and slow wind. I am still feeling the beauty of all even after all these years with a different ‘me’. With so many revisions in my profile and so many additional responsibilities I feel like an improved version, with all new genuine updates installed. But just like software I know I need to upgrade myself to be compatible with the current market requirements. Because, it’s always good to be in the ‘recommended’ category than ‘minimum’ required category. My this version, version 2.0 is ready to be installed and take on the world. But it knows that the only key to fight it out with the contemporaries is to upgrade itself, from time to time. So a lot new versions are waiting in the wings and all I need is to make myself adaptable and compatible with all those changes…. Err, did I say ‘changes’, those are the only ‘constants’.

P.S.: Need to congratulate Rafa… for winning at Roland Garros, but Fedex gonna come back, come back harder…

23rd May...

2010-05-23T00:18:00.002+05:30

23^rd May. One fine day my father decided that this will be the date to be entered as my birth date in certificates. He was thoroughly counseled by my great school teachers for whom keeping such a birth date was always convenient keeping the academic session in mind. Atleast this is what they say. Nobody knows why. 21^st May is the ‘real’ birthday of my room-mate of MBA days. I had to stress on the word ‘real’ as a lot of fake birthdays of my friends of school days fall in this month.

This year, I am waiting for this day for last 7 days. Too eager and too anxious. Without any valid, justified or specific reason. Though Netherlands declared their independence from Spain on this day, I have been searching my independence from my daily schedule. The first African-American sergeant got the Medal of Honor in American Civil War and launch of first talking cartoon of Mickey Mouse has happened on this day. What a day! Here’s a good one: normal human sex cells have 23 chromosomes!

Though I myself never celebrated this day, all my offices celebrated it, thanks to my school certificates. Changed it in my current company with sincere efforts after breaking such horrific news to them late last year when I actually celebrated my ‘real’ birthday. Real. Sometimes I wonder who understands the meaning this word ‘real’! I have had my share terrible days thanks to my over-indulgence with reality.

Also, the reality is not only the great King Henry VIII’s marriage to his first of his six wives was declared null & void on this day, but a lady who fought with me 3 years back regarding the same thing called ‘marriage’, after a 7-year courtship, is finally tying the knot on the same day. Today.

23^rd May.

Let the celebrations begin…

(Guys, I know it's a crap post, but do bear me this time, won't bore you to death with emotional atyachaar anymore)

Will You Please...

2010-04-25T00:41:00.003+05:30

We accept it or not, but we do crib. It’s nothing but natural, as life is not the way we want it. so just like VVS Laxman saying why me each time he has been dropped from the Indian team, today, I also find myself saying why me. Though I always believed in the theory of ‘moving on’ with life after each setback one faces, I have to accept that there are few things that are going to remain with you still you exist. Nothing wrong, but again if that comes in the way of a new life you want to start, then it’s a problem. What to do about it? Way back in 1998, I was shortlisted for a national level quiz competition with one of my partner when I was in 9^th standard, but could not get a call thanks to last minute schedule changes which did not allow us board the train. Reason: our school was not having a big profile. I studied science in 11^th & 12^th standard, it was not my choice, but my father had never thought anything beyond science stream. My score in 12^th has proven him wrong. I did not know where to go from there, but Dad himself helped me to choose a discipline that suits me best. And that was the last time he suggested me anything on my career though I ask him before taking any decisions, love him for that.

I had this awesome dream I saw for some 7-odd years before realizing that I have been asked to wake up. I woke up, found the other person involved in the dream nowhere. Thought will move on. Just a few days of disbelief and then life was back on track. Or so I thought. After being a benchmark for others for being in a relationship for so long, became a benchmark on how to move on after you are all alone. Felt great to maintain my benchmarking level intact (sometimes I owe this attribute to my internship project on benchmarking analysis of PMS across industries, LOL). Life kept on moving. Many new persons came and my heart kept on planning for renewed dreams. Mind was anyways not in a mood. After waking up, 1 year I was into some kind of hibernation thanks to my corporate engagements and my close friends. Then life saw many colors with all shades. They came & they went. Sometimes, I forced them to. I have been rude, I accept. 3 years down the line, today, when I look back, I see that I have lost more than thing after that ‘wake up’. I realized that the lady, who has not been with me, has also taken away many emotions which cannot be reproduced again. They are irreparable. She has been a great influence in my life for such a long time; I spent 1/3^rd of my life when we got separated. That’s a big ratio. Last 3 years has given me enough opportunities and I was upto the task, almost. But you know what, something’s missing. Something’s really missing. I think she took away all those emotions from me. I get close… I get touched… then I feel blank. Can’t explain how those moments are being passed by me nonchalantly. Sometimes I feel have I really moved on? Or is it that I am just trying to pretend and has perfected the art of pretention. Till when dude?

Is ‘love’ still a reality for me? Or it has become an illusion like ‘happiness’? Anyways, illusions are entertaining… but sometimes. I have stopped defining what happiness is. These days it has become a 15% hike in appraisal, having a dum biriyani or finding a place to stand in the local train on my way to office. Wow! Till when I will become happy with all these things? I know, it’s over…long time… but have I lost the capability to get into that mode in my life again? I know I am out of it, but why do I feel bored of doing those simple and stupid things again? I hate doing clichéd things, but atleast let me not make anybody sad and not make anybody say that I am such a boring guy. It’s tough yaar. I am tired. Neither can I be artificial nor can I am able to define happiness. Have been living alone for so long now... never had the habit...

Would I ever be able do define what is this ‘happiness’ all about? Or a ‘final goodbye’ from this world is just the right answer? Hey Mom…Dad… all of you… please allow me… find one thing….

P E A C E

Summer Bites...

2010-04-21T12:30:00.005+05:30

I just had a look at my post uploaded almost at this time last year Summer of '09, and I realised how good it was to anticipate summer as the school gets closed and we had all the time in the world to plan our long vacation. I am working since last 3 summers in order to pursue higher career growth. Atelast I presume so. I have forgotten what it means to dare the sun and roam around in the hot afternoons like I used to. The worst part is when you want to forget something, you fail 9 out of 10 times and when you really to remember something, the equation reads the opposite. Before I get more nostalgic and sound more pathetic, I need to stop.

Had been working day in & day out without a break since last 4 months... A few parties here & there have saved me from dying as a workaholic. Appraisal's still to happen. Work is getting less challenging after finishing all the assignments. End result: monotonous is the word of the day. Even twittering is getting on to the head. Bro's coming for internship, also expecting parents to accompany him for few days as my home trip is not looking a reality till end of November. IPL's getting all possible TRPs for masala we have never seen before. Quality cricket, worst cricket, scandals, corruption, allegations and some renewed energy inside the cheerleaders. Guys retaliating girls by getting married this year, seems they think it's some kinda revenge. Sometimes illusions make you happy. Girls were on a marriage spree last year. At this rate, my entire class will be over by next year. But, I am more than sure that I'll be the last man standing. Those who are not into the marriage thing, are still sorting out their professional career graph by retaliating with their bosses... yes switching jobs.

Nothing comes easy. Nothing is given to you. Whatever you do, you've got to work for it and earn it. Whatever reward you get you've got to know that you've had your input into that success. There's no substitute for hard work. And if you want to be well known or well liked, you have to put yourself out for people.... No no...do not misunderstand me, I have not written those last 2 lines. But whoever has written it sounds good though. I am quite impatient, so always missed the bus of success, went ahead without it in my life. Well, we do catch each other sometimes.

Life has become a 24 hour cycle with definitions and objectives attached to each hour.

Hey You HR...

2010-03-21T00:06:00.002+05:30

10 hours at workplace plus 1 hour for travelling. Add one more for getting prepared and settling down. Half of an IPL match and few mandatory calls. One bad lunch and one not-so-bad dinner. Then few tweets. Off to bed. This has precisely become my daily routine these days. No more time for social networking or blogging. Pizza & burger doses has lessened to almost zero. Am I cribbing? No, not at all. Cribbing is what employees do. I am a part of management, I represent management. That’s what corporates say about HRs. I have devised too many new things to be implemented in my company, few already are and few are in pipeline. Employee engagement is at an all-time high. End result??? Employees thinking all we are wasting their precious time, which they could use in catching an earlier bus back home. Am I again cribbing? Nah… It’s easy for any employee to crib just about anything and HR has to term it as a “grievance”. I spend 1 hour every evening on that, corporates call it EGR…employee grievance redressal. When an employee thinks only about going back home when done with his/her work saying who the bloody wants to stay back in the workplace; how do I think of designing a Kirkpatrick model of training to assess their growth & performance. Forget about understanding, do they even care about these HR initiatives? A gracious lady came to work at 6 in the evening and was arguing with me to allow her to start work for 3 hours, her shift timing was 9 AM. Her argument was she thinks the company belongs to her and she can come anytime to finish her work. As if our Ops team is waiting only for that lady to grace our floor. Sometimes I feel either they don’t understand management’s plans for them or may be I do not understand them. And these are the same employees who give feedback in anonymous survey about HR that we need sessions on professionalism! Apart from some 25-30 odd percentages of theories we had to study during our MBA, you won’t find a fuck of rest of the theories in practical corporate life. You may find a bunch of jokers with you whom you have to call your sincere & hardworking colleagues. You may find some jerk whom you have to call boss. It is said say you can’t choose your colleagues or your boss. But who the hell chooses them in the first place? Way out is just one thing: luck…. If you are lucky enough you get a good profile and a team to work with and a supervisor who understand and recognize what you do. Is this too much to ask for? Or is that such workplace matrix does not exist anymore? Then we need to stop these fucking much hyped surveys on ‘best places to work for’. I believe I am lucky enough…

Stickin To My Ground!!!

2010-02-24T21:35:00.004+05:30

Sachin hits 200... Good day @ office... Done with all my tasks for the month... Listening Nikhil's new mixes... Submerge's cool... Why this abstract post???

I am NOT going anywhere guys... The city & me has to play the music together... Let's make music and come join the party... 3 trips in coming months... After that it's home trip in Diwali... But only a trip... No going back... Mark that... Corporate culture learning should take the front seat for now... Work hard... Party harder... Mangii & Olives here I come...

Scahin's God... And I am not leaving him alone here in this city ;-)

Repair Almost Anything...

2010-02-20T20:50:00.003+05:30

My name is a ‘common-man’, and I can not repair anything. I can only repair few things. I can not repair broken trust, emotions and missing affections. I am also not saying they are beyond repair. I repair my employees, to some extent, to the best of my capabilities. Some liked it, some did not, in fact many didn't. That’s what my last anonymous employee feedback suggested for me. I am changing my ways, pattern and approach. Hope they like it; I am not God who has all the powers to make them happy. I try my best to repair if my friends get angry, if my brother wants something, failing most of the times. Yes, I have few successes to my name in this repairing business. The best one being my ability to bring some smile on people’s face with some unnecessary, unwanted, stupid & idiotic acts. But I manage to make them smile, and for me that’s what matters. Hope they like it too. Till date, only found that parents can only repair, and repair almost anything. Hope a day would also come like that for me. I was tired while writing my last one, I am tired today too, but the show must go on and the blog. Less confused now but want to sleep for long… with no reason to wake up again. No reasons at all. Weekends round the corner, and no plans in place. That’s the routine these days.

Need some repairing for my ‘self’.

I Am Tired...

2010-02-14T19:22:00.006+05:30

The short home trip was truly enjoyable, awesome and equally exhausting due to the packed schedule. It's been 4 years of me staying out of home and things have changed a lot since then. I have merely become a guest not only for my relatives back there but I am a guest at my home as well. Everyone behaves so specially with me during my stay that at a certain point of time it becomes quite awkward.

One of my cousins who always demands an expensive gift for him every time I go back home, is demanding a pair of kurtas now. His expectations has not decreased because I have not given him anything till date but he started thinking that I do not belong to the family anymore. He does not have that right or he does not believe that I will get what he asks for anymore :( My maternal grandpa is touching 100 and still going on. He is quite a strong person at heart. He has married off his 5 daughters and 1 son and seen & gone through a lot in his life. Though I have seen him breaking down, but not on happy occasions. The last marriage I attended was of his grandson and he was not really happy with his grandson's choice of the bride. But at the end of the day, he has a heart that only knows to love, he broke down when he saw that the new bride has come home and hugged him. They both cried and he hugged all of us, with unending tears in his eyes. He is a father, he knows what it takes to bring up the children, he can't be angry forever. Found Mom quite busy for me, preparing 10 different dishes and getting tired. I kept on waiting when we both could sit & talk, but I was busy attending events and she was busy for me. For her, that's happiness. For me happiness is defined by her. She does not understand. I don't want her handmade delicacies when that's going to make me miss her from 2000 kms distance. Dad is busy in working unlimited hours and making our future secure. Till when he will slog? He is into mid-fifties and still works more passionately than me. I do not want that, I want him to sit back & relax. He has done too much, it's time for us to take it forward with whatever little experience we have. My brother & I talk pretty less and share a relation that involves more of wavelength-match than anything else. I miss him all the time when I am here and can feel he would be relatively happy if I go back.

But again, my old city has changed. It's just too crowded, the local people are complaining of outsiders intrusion, I reminded them of Raj Thackeray's stand on Mumbai. We can't deny an individuals right in a democratic country where everyone is free to go anywhere to get a living on his/her merit. The old peace of city has diminished a bit, if not completely. My secret backyards are also under threat ;) I was under the attack by all the family members, specially bhabhis, according to them I am the next man in line for marriage. For me it's the line of fire. But for me marriage is at the lowest priority now. I believe one should get married when he should be able to devote/balance time. When one knows when to switch on & switch off between work & home. When one is mentally ready for it, not when the family is ready.

I owe a lot to this city, Mumbai. It gave me a lot. All it asked from me is more discipline and hard work. This city gave me the freedom to think beyond the average things. My job profile and my bosses given me the freedom to think beyond the assigned work. Yes, they also have alleged that I have to leave behind that Odisa-attitude, which is reactive. My bosses taught me to be proactive, when I was just reactive. I almost have done so, and doing it everyday. Mumbai has its own attitude, and yes, it helps to look at life in a complete different way. If you want to make a life a here, then you can't look back. You can't think about your Mom who says you to come down to attend brother's marriage, or it won't allow when you feel like you should see your Dad on his anniversary. Work is priority and time is money here. You will learn what is professionalism in this city. But I am getting emotionally tired. I am hanging somewhere in between the memories and longing of my family and my aspirations to do 'big' things in life. These thoughts are colliding. I am tired mentally. It's taking a lot out of me, and sometimes I am going blank affecting my work and personal life. I love this city & its work culture. I love my family. Both are priorities. My staying away from home is gradually making me feel that I am never going to go back to them. And this thought is scary. If I go back, my boss will win, as one day he told me that you can't work in a private company, you belong to a PSU. I can't accept defeat by going home. I have given output upto his expectations, and worked without thinking about my scheduled time. But I am not here to prove him wrong or work in a PSU. But I kind of feel that options outside this city is going to send me into a guilt trip where I will find myself in a wrong place doing wrong things. I might have to start from the scratch if I go back home. I have few things planned out which I can start there, I can do things that I like and stay at home. Own venture, work, teaching & writing. Or all these are not worth? Oh God! I am confused.

Is home is the place for me? Is this city will be my new home? When will I stay with my parents for the rest of the lifetime? These are the days I want to spend with my closed ones. Similarly, this is time I have to invest in my career. Which path should I take? Which way to go? Money or Peace. Growth or Family. Lifestyle or happiness. Can I have both of these? Is there a way out?

I am tired and I want an answer.

Month of Zero Life

2010-01-31T18:02:00.006+05:30

Last day of the first month of 2010. Have not written a word for over a month. Work was the priority for most of the month and weekends passed without any comfort. People close to me became upset for not being able to meet them up or give time, people who are far wished I could be with them. I failed to meet any of their demands. Work, work & more work was my only routine throughout this entire month and I worked more than I did in last quarter of 2009. But still the pressure is on, will be there till March end... some appraisal thing they say. I most probably will miss 3 marriages of my closest bros and a friend. Can't express what it means to miss such rare & once in a lifetime occasions. Now that things are changing on professional front too fast, I hope it changes me as a human being as well, for better. Roger won today, sweet 16 now for him... twitter is on all time high... orkut is almost out. I recovered my old hard disk drive and with that some memories. Slept just 3 nights at my place in this entire month... saw one movie... and zero shopping. Puja was there for our new home today... Dad & Mom's anniversary tomorrow. Mom missing me too much, wants me there for the marriages, son hanging around for leaves/appraisals/bosses/pressure/deadlines...

but tells her he will be home soon.

Ask Questions...

2009-12-31T16:25:00.000+05:30

Freedom of speech is something that has been endowed upon us by the constitution. Now, to what extent we use it or allowed to use it is matter that is quite debatable. Even the government that rules us, curbs that freedom to a greater extent and refrains us from speaking our mind or saying what is correct. The other angle to this thought is what is to be spoken on a public domain and what not. Who decides this? The speaker or law-makers? We have laws that states we cannot make inflammatory speeches, talks that violates the integrity of the country, anti-national remarks and comments on any community that can cause instability in the peace. What about somebody’s opinion about another individual? Can anyone say he/she feels about another person in a public platform in a civilized way, let me repeat ‘civilized way’? Or is it just not allowed?

Is an individual free to express his opinions on the current corporate culture being a part of a corporate himself? Is a journo allowed to discuss the loopholes in the present journalism system? Is a politician can have common public forum/platform where he can also have a direct interaction with the public and start analyzing the government policies and procedures? Many such intriguing questions baffle me for a simple reason because I live in the largest democracy of the world and we take huge pride in it. We started our journey of independence from a phase where we had to build everything, from public infrastructure to media to industries. When we almost reached the top of all these things we started thinking business out of everything. And business lands us in big trouble. It makes us materialistic.

That’s why today we find we have got some top news channels doing some of the best reporting & coverage, yet not joining hands for any common cause to build a better mode of communication of information. Why a Rajdeep can’t talk to a Pranoy for any joint initiative, it’s going to work wonders. There was a time when we had almost zero facilities for our national level players in sports, yet we were a top team in hockey, with each passing year not only our ranking is falling but today we find ourselves nowhere in the world scene. This has not happened because we have run out of talents, this mainly is the result of our lack of interest in the upliftment of such a sports. Neither the government nor the hockey federation is worried about this down-slide. But we call it our national sports. Why our sports academies are not getting the grants in time, and whenever they are getting they are not able to use it or misuse it quite well. Why do we need to host Commonwealth Games with the worst possible preparation and spend more than 1600 crores and forget about some of our traditional games like kho-kho or kabaddi, which are on the verge of extinction. Think over it. We face droughts and floods almost every year in some or the other part of our country. And after so much discussion we have even set up a ‘so-called’ Crisis Management Team. But what is that team doing exactly? Waiting for another such natural calamity to hit us and then rush to the site for some photogenic visits. Then some monetary aids and ‘renewed promises’ for ‘next time’. And the poor public waits for their turn to death. Time moves on and things. When it happened to you that you were quite excited about attending a lecture during your school or even college days? Why? Haven’t we studied to learn, or have studied to get those grades and then to forget and go ahead. Why can’t we have an education system aimed at making the curriculum more professional & exciting at the same place? Even in our B-schools we talk about CGPA. We talk about percentage and campus placements. Universities in the west have methodologies that take the students beyond mugging up concepts and rather apply it, why can’t we? In UK you will find specialization in soccer! And finally our politics and politicians. We have seen our politicians for last 60-odd years running our country in their own ways and we have seen some good ones too! How many of them made it possible to bring the common man as close as possible to the government and have a different say? When we have introduced the Right To Information Act, opposition opposed to death not to make it happen. They were not successful and I felt that the public won. Actually that was just the beginning, yet our have not disclosed what the people wants. They have disclosed what they want to and how much they want to. With every changing government, this Act is modified to suit their taste. Now when all some Shashi Tharoor did, made the democracy little more accessible from a social networking site, everybody who is not getting their share of popularity is having some serious problem. For God’s sake, can’t we start accepting differences, changes and truth? He has maintained his individuality, his say & his stand for all the policies that the government has made and his take on them. He kept his 5.5 lacs of followers updated about his everyday work (sometimes every minute as well!). Did I say more than half a million in my last sentence, oh freaking ‘yes’. That’s a number which is more than the viewership of some of today’s news channels. Now that’s going to a big problem in today’s news hungry media industry. As long as Mr. Tharoor speaks to the journos, they are happy or he is being so transparent. If he speaks on a social networking site, then he is accused of speaking on a public domain and it becomes a crime. I understand how many minutes of breaking news the channels are losing! Shame on those hypocrites and for God’s sake let such politicians live in peace. 550000 people who are following Mr. Tharoor can’t be wrong then; the site even has an option for the followers to un-follow! Even today we have parties like ‘Left front’, who has the outstanding track record of opposing all the new proposal/policy/initiatives taken by any government. Today, the country from where they have brought in their ideology is one of the super-powers of the world and they are still limited to their own small ground in the eastern parts of India. It’s only a matter of time Mamta & co will finish them off or they come out with some revamped ideologies and progressive thinking to appeal to today’s population.

I am not a narcissist who has a problem with all the systems that we have. The problem is I just can’t say all is well when I find loopholes in my own daily life, things I do, systems I myself am involved with. We can’t say all is well till we question everything. Corruption can only be eradicated if start questioning from the very grassroots level. Or else we can continue living our life with some false promises made to ourselves and some unachievable ambitions. I wish the public takes the Sarva Shiksha Abhiyan seriously and get educated faster to start asking questions. They can start asking about the adulteration in their free mid-day meals. Is not that simple to start with? Or is it? Somebody, somewhere has to start. Those who have questioned have got two things: boot or recognition. In India getting the boot is easy than recognition, so the level of encouragement is less, that’s where we need to bring a change. Can we recognize those who raise their voice and questioning things happening around them? There are many such groups unlike Prince Dance Group of Odisha who go unnoticed for years together, and then they dissipate in the darkness forever. Can we have a platform to recognize these talents? Like this, questions are many. We need to ask them. We may not get an answer, may not get it most of the times. But we need to keep on asking them. Everybody makes mistakes, some big mistakes. But you can't hide in your room forever feeling sorry for yourself. At some point, you've got to get back out there, face up to things, and confront your fears. Some people are born to families where they do not need to ask questions in their lives, some don’t care. But we have to work our way to the top, put in the effort, and if we mess it up, we'll learn from it. Besides, sometimes it's not about knowing the right answer. Sometimes it's about asking the right questions.

Here Comes Christmas...

2009-12-24T18:18:00.002+05:30

Sometimes nothing but a road-side, greasy, floppy, bread-slice-overwhelming, onion-infused, whipped-to-death omelette will do. This was more or less my type of schedule during Christmas celebrations. This year is different, thanks to my office and my colleagues. All the buzz, hype and preparations are making it one of the best so far. I have been doing shopping since 21st. And it really is exciting. I hope I enjoy it to the maximum. We have few competitions chalked out for tomorrow. After long the employees are kind of charged up for these events. I hope we make a great day tomorrow at work and somehow define ‘fun at workplace’. This concept rarely comes in the dictionary of small organizations as they do not have the liberty of spending time and workforce behind all these. Yet, we have managed to try our best whenever we got an opportunity and we always kept our spirits high. There were not one but many occasions where the employees didn’t show that much of interest in the celebrations. That never let us down…actually it did. But I don’t know why, I & my ex-boss always felt that we can see that one day when we can bring them all together on the common platform and enjoy the occasion together. And my current boss not only shares the same vision but has tried her best at making this Christmas special. If tomorrow turns out be a dampener, no regrets, we tried our best as usual. If it clicks well, everybody should be proud. And the little hopeful inside me who always looked upto organizations like Google, IBM and many more where ‘fun at workplace’ is a practical concept rather than just a term on the management books, is feeling greattt (sorry, I have to add those extra ‘t’s).

Those who wish to sing always find a song. So our team HR is upto the task and hey…..life is unsure, so ideally one should always eat the dessert first. I want to be happy as I have not seen tomorrow. Merry Christmas to you all and wish you all the possible happiness in this world. Wherever you are and whatever you do, just be happy. P E A C E…

My Village...

2009-12-08T18:47:00.002+05:30

I was just trying few things in Google, and I don’t know why, I typed the name of our village, Dad’s birthplace. It’s been 7 years that I have been there. And in last 12 years I have been there just twice. Coming back to the Google thing, I found few results from Wikimapia. And I clicked it to see that place where I stayed for few years and started my education. Mom was never happy as I had to study in vernacular medium, so did my maternal side. She was born and raised in the best city of Odisa, and had to come to this raw and secluded village and so was the reaction. This village along with another 3 villages was actually cut off from other localities by 2 rivers. I exactly could not locate my school on the virtual map, but found one next to it. Found the two rivers, and few houses.

Today when I am looking at these locales through Wikimapia sitting in Mumbai where I am living for last 4 years, I just realized how far I am from all those quiet places I stayed. I really miss them. This is the place that made me fearless in those dark nights when there was a power cut. This is the village that I liked so much because I always found my relatives nearby, the ones I love, and the ones’ I hate too! This tiny village has taught me to carry the inherent qualities that my ancestors had in them. More importantly, I will always be grateful to my father to have given me a chance to live in the place where he was born and raised upon. I know what & how much it means to him. I know the amount of importance each small landmark of this village carries for him. This is the place that made me aware of the fact that I belong to the red soil and is going to be mixed with it one day.

I got a little bit nostalgic, then I asked myself: can I stay there? Do I want to stay there? The answer to both the questions came as ‘NO’. Because I have been given a completely different lifestyle while being raised. We stayed at more than 4 places before moving to Mom’s hometown where we have built our own homes. Just like I love our home, Dad loves his, but he knows we don’t feel the same somehow towards his village. I know it feels bad to him, but can anybody answer me, why can’t we live without leaving behind all these glitz & glamour. And all these materialistic things. Sometimes when I feel sad, shattered and low; I just want to leave everything and go back to that room where I used to sleep at our village home and wink through that tiny little window to the huge garden we had in the back. And forget everything. Blank.

Living On...

2009-12-04T13:49:00.000+05:30

It's been 25 years now. The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. For me, it has more effect than facts. My own attitude towards life has changed a lot and is still on a changing cycle. I know being a 25-year-'old' gives me the leeway to call my mistakes as experiences. No matter what I do from now on is going to represent me as well as give me my own identity.

Talking of identity, I have not been able to carve one for myself so far. I know it for sure that it's not late, but surely I have to start working towards it right away. My father is someone I always looked up to. And even if I achieve 50% of what he has got in his life, then my life would be worth living for. While I will be working to establish my identity, I will make sure that I am happy and content in what I will be doing. I hope I can keep on writing, atleast for next 50 years (somebody predicted I would be bidding adieu to the world @ 73, so that leaves me with 48 years exactly). I hope my closed ones would be there while achieving my small goals of life.

As I look back today, I find uncountable memories full of uncountable people. And, when I look at the future, it is full of opportunities, hope I will be able to convert few of them into success to make all those proud one day who believed in me.

Good Thoughts,
@ My desk, ValueProcess.

Whatever...Kuchh Bhi...

2009-11-28T16:28:00.006+05:30

When I look back and read my post http://dreamzrforever.blogspot.com/2009/01/oh-dear.html, I feel... this is me, so me. I want my closed ones to care for me, I don't want them to be overly caring; I want them to be always near me, I also do not want their too much of presence; I want someone who calls up at night to ask me whether I had my dinner or not, yet I don't want it everyday.... so on & on & on. Exactly what do I want? Do I even want anything, any damn thing? May be not. May be I do not deserve. I don't know. I am going mad. Whatever...

I have this commitment-psychosis, thanks to my ever changing mood. And marriage. To fuel this thought in mind, not 1 but 3 of my cousins bros are getting married in next 3 months, while 1 got married last month. The entire family is happy as the boys are into the marriage-thing after a hiatus of close to 7 years. Even I was tired being a part from the bride's side for last 7 years. But being a part of baarati and being in the hot seat on mandap are largely different things. I hate when people around me even talk about marriage, coz our discussions about marriage concludes at a dead-end. A point of no return. Whatever! And again, I ask the same old question: why do people get married? To have children, or for their parent's sake. One of my aunt was so concerned about my eating habits in Mumbai that she is always after me to get married, so that my wife will take care of the food. I mean, now I have to get married coz I'll have someone who can cook. Do I need to marry for that? I am paying my bai 1500 bucks to cook, and I am happy with the food. Whatever! I don't bother. Secondly, finding "the one" is pretty tough, as of now I think it's impossible. My friends say I am thinking too much and getting too much critical in my choice, but dear how can I just close my eyes if I have to take the biggest decision of my life? It's too damn hard. And the result: marriage plans are dropped indefinitely. Whatever!

I just had a self-analysis, and not surprisingly I found out that if I have to stay happy 'from inside' more than 15 days a month, then I better stay single. That sounds weird, but for me, as of now, this holds true. May be my theories suck, may be I am sounding stupid, but I am confused. May be tired. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am already over-using the term 'whatever' today... thanks to my blank mind...Whatever mind... Kuchh bhi mind...

November Blues!!! What's that?

2009-11-11T10:43:00.010+05:30

Oh it's raining! Raining since almost 2 days. Rain in November... is there something wrong! Dhoni & Ponting's men are staying at 'Four Points' and looking at the weather. It seems they will end up in spending majority of their time inside the hotel and the rest in shopping at Inorbit. Their wives have already started shopping and eating some real oily stuff at the Inorbit food-court. Dhoni would be happy not to face the Aussie heat (that to in wet conditions ;-) ). Raj baba's men went nuts as usual inside Maharashtra's assembly for some weird reasons taking MNS's image to another low. The MET department has given a cyclone (they have given it some alien name also) warning for today, thus making sure that it is not going to happen.

Today, also marks 2 years of my first post in this blog, which actually was an excerpt from one of my e-mails. It was written for my ex and then I thought of putting it here. That is how I started writing on a blog, for the first time. From then , till now, one thing has remained constant; no one reads my blog ;-). Today also marks the completion of my two successful years as an eligible (atleast my ex-boss says so) bachelor after 7 odd years of hook-up with my ex. Life has moved on, not very far but things have changed a lot. By the way, I am having a break-up party this evening at my place. It would be low-key... only vodka ;-). And you never know I might end up spending my weekend with a proper break-up party with a candle-lit dinner with a new girl (this candle light idea is given by my friend Rishal!). I have this long list of female acquaintances which sometimes entices me to recreate a story for my child-ren: "How I Met Your Mother- Indian Version" ;-) I can only see myself playing Uncle Barney...hehe...

Well, I need to present a business plan that got shortlisted in top 8 in an event organised by UTVi at KJ Somaiya this Friday. I literally have no idea what I am gonna speak thanks to my work schedule. Let's see, how it goes. Until next time, it's bye folks.

Not Anymore...

2009-11-09T10:36:00.001+05:30

What do you understand by cold war? How are you going to define it? Is it because the relationship has become cold? And why do we always have a cold war with a person who is close to you? Is it because you want to fight with them or is it something. What I found in most of the cases, it is the clashes of ego, or may be clashes of the way we think. Every individual is different from each other, but we don’t accept this fact easily. We want the person in front of us to think the way we are thinking. But to what extent?

I am not writing this post of because I am having one such thanda war with anybody, but mainly because I am tired of losing people close to me in my life. I am too tired even to think about that. So each time I feel that I am having such kind of a tiff with someone close to me, I can’t take it easily. It’s really tough on my part, even though it’s not a new thing, anymore. If that someone thinks the same way or everything goes ‘perfect’ (may be an overstatement) for a long time, and when you start thinking that he is the one you can call a ‘buddy’ any given day in your life, things start changing. I have learned to give myself sometime, but these phases are really tough to survive. Because all the time I live under the insecurity of losing that someone. Can’t live with this feeling.

I just hope, this is not a war, forget about being cold. I hope this is not a fight, as in my dictionaries buddies don’t fight, they just agree to disagree. I hope this friendship is not going to lose its charm, as I have not thought of such a good friend since last few years. I hope this just a small bad dream which I am seeing and is going to get over soon. Because all I can do, is ‘hope’.

Hope, we would remain as such ever. Hope…

The Pain of the Master

2009-11-06T17:03:00.008+05:30

[You may find certain words in this post which may not be appreciated in a public forum, but I am/shall NOT be apologetic about it, as I am just expressing my thoughts as a normal frustrated and disgusted crcket fanatic]

A banner in SCG ground on 4th January 2008 read, "Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting. They will go unnoticed because even the Lord is watching."

We, Indians, grew up watching Cricket. You can smell its flavor in every nook & corner of our homes. We eat cricket, sleep with it & wake up thinking about it only. Obsession is not wrong, even for a passion like this over-obsession can also be understandable. But turning blind or analyzing the reasons behind our failure should not be avoided as well.

And today, we are also debating about being a top class team and reaching the number one position in world cricket. Have we ever asked ourselves, that whether do we even deserve it or do we have the skills, temperament and the attitude to be in that position???

Just a brief glance over last couple of month’s developments (though we find such things since time immemorial)

-> We bring in Rahul Dravid to Champions Trophy saying he is the need of the hour. Then we dump him in the next series saying he is not fitting into the scheme of things. Now here, no one knows how our selectors and BCCI defines “need of the hour” and “the scheme of things”.

-> We field players like Harbhajan, who himself does not know what he is doing in the team for last 3 years. And players like Amit Mishra are picked to provide water and snacks for players. Gambhir has gone to hibernation post last year’s IPL and cricket season. But he is on seventh heaven winning ICC player of year award.
-> Yuvraj’s tummy is crossing all the limits and he is our best fielder. We are a young side (or so they say) and we do the maximum errors in the field, most of them are of school-level standards. To place on record, Bangladeshi guys are 2.5 times better fielders than us.
-> People like Rohit Sharma and few others still does not know why they are not in the team when people like Ravindra Jadeja and Virat Kohli are warming the bench inside the team pavilion.
-> Ishant Sharma has become Irfaan Pathan, part-2. The other seamers are saying they are missing Zaheer bhai! Do they even know where to deliver a good-length ball?
-> After all this, Yuvraj & Viru has time to speak “jab tak balla chal raha hai, thaat hai” on a TV commercial. Do they even understand what they are saying!

And then, there is this man, called some Tendulkar who is playing for just 20 years. Two decades, 435 matches and still scoring more than the above mentioned morons. Still having that hunger. Still having the thinking to win & only win. To hang in there till he can to get that extra run, to save that extra run & to run that extra yard to take a catch. Some sons of guns ask him again & again what is his motivation, to which he simply answers that for him cricket is his life and playing for India is a privilege throughout. Everyday, when he wakes up he feels honored to wear that helmet and that blue shirt. How many youngsters care the same way, he cared playing for India not for 1, 2 or 5, but for 20 years. And if you watch him playing even today, you can see he still cares!

We are bigger chokers than South Africans. May be the biggest. But we are also most hopeful people on the planet earth. Even Obama must have thought, I could fool these people 100 times easier than Americans. Yes, we love to stay in a negative mindset being hypocrites. People blame the same Tendulkar, stating that when he scores a ton we lose. Those b******s don’t understand that there are 10 other players who also need to deliver. Also, these d***heads watch each time Sachin comes to bat and they celebrate each time India wins. Hypocrisy at its best.

I was expecting Ponting to say in the post match presentation after yesterday’s match that: Sachin is unfortunate to play with such a team. Because the team neither has passion, determination nor the will to win, and this is where teams like Aussies and South Africans are differentiated. Sixty one years ago, at the end of a tour of England by Don Bradman's famous pack, John Arlott put it thus: "Australianism" wrote Arlott, "means single-minded determination to win - to win within the laws but, if necessary, to the last limit within them. It means where the 'impossible' is within the realm of what the human body can do, there are Australians who believe that they can do it - and who have succeeded often enough to make us wonder if anything is impossible to them. It means they have never lost a match - particularly a Test match - until the last run is scored or their last wicket down."

How many times this tiny man, the master, is going to save us? How many times are we going to lean upon his shoulders? For God’s sake, he is just a human and just another player. Just a week back, the great Yuvraaj said in a press meet that they all are calling Sachin ‘grandpa’, because of the amount of cricket he played. Yuvraj still behaves as casually as he said that statement with absolute zero learning. These f**ing idiots need to be tamed sooner.

Till the day, the other 10 morons in the team won’t think like 10% of what Sachin thinks, we should stop discussing crap things like becoming numero uno or being a world-class team. Deserve before you desire.

Saluting tiny Tendlya of Sharadashram Vidyamandir, the shy Sachin practicing at Shivaji Park, the little champion, India’s run machine and Master Sachin Tendulkar. We still love you, and I can say with more than 100% assurance that India won’t watch cricket the same way if you won’t be there. You define cricket to your fans, to India.

The stupid ‘hopeful’ in me want to say: “Just don’t go Sachin”

Life's Like That...

2009-10-26T13:29:00.002+05:30

It has been an eventful October, a month I would remember. Today, while writing this, is the last day of my home trip. I came home after 10 months, the longest so far. I stayed for 11 days, including 3 unpaid leaves, man that’s some money. I have spent maximum time at home in this trip, which I missed in the earlier ones. But missed out on meeting all of my near & dear ones. It’s bound to happen if you are going to visit your hometown as a guest for 10 odd days. Don’t know, but sometimes I feel I should take off for a couple of months or so and spend time here. It’s so calm & relaxing. You don’t have to think anything else apart from comfort. All I seriously did here was two things: eat & sleep. I made up for all those lost sleep in last 9-10 months and had best of the cuisines. If my bosses permit, I would be coming down in four months time to attend two of my cousins’ marriage. Fingers crossed.

This October, as I posted in my previous post, Nipun left us to go back to his hometown. He’s been a great buddy, flat-mate and overall a good human being. Will miss him for sure, his antics and his style. His sense of humor has been the best of all. Girls loved him for reasons more than humor though! I hope we will be in touch. Yup, I can only hope.

I will be resuming work day after tomorrow and that would be the last of Shweta, my immediate reporting manager, a thorough professional and a good friend in the process. I feel it will take few more years for me to be that professional. She has been a great guide too after her tough sessions specially designed for me. It helped to a great extent. I know how much different it would be to go to the same workplace where I won’t be able to ping her through our office messenger and share Chicken Pudina Kabab in lunch. Celebrating all those weird days dedicatedly and the humor on the fellow employees. All these will be terribly missed. Don’t know, what future holds for me from now onwards. All I can do, is to wish her all the very best as she is going to start a new innings in her life and moving to New Delhi. Delhi guys have already started calling her Butter Chicken!!!

Also, one of our old & good friends is going to join us in our flat in place of Nipun. With him, the flat would become an all-Odia (not Oriya) flat. Likewise, someone also joined in place of Shweta as well. She has been doing really well so far. But sometimes I ask life, why is it that we always have to accept changes and live with it? Why can’t people/situations/things be constant? I get so many answers; so many times it remains unanswered as well.

But when I conclude all the answers, I discover the same old thing: “Life’s Like That”.

The Saturday That Was...

2009-10-12T18:58:00.005+05:30

Saturday

10th October, 2009

Life is a great leveler. Today was one of those days, I realized it, again. My day started with those thoughts in mind where I feel like going back to home and do nothing. The sun was shining, a bit too much and was humid as usual. But there was something in the air, could not recognize, may I be did not want to. Went to have a vegetarian lunch, thanks my Saturday thing. Then lots of shopping and a good dinner. All through this, someone was there with me, and helped me do shopping, as I stay in my confused state of mind during buying anything. That someone is there for some time now, just that now I can count upon her. A great person and a great companion to be with. Time literally flies, when she is around. Well, please do not read between/beyond these lines.

But the day also contained the separation of one my flat mates who was leaving Mumbai permanently to join their family business. I never interacted with him during my MBA days so much apart from the formal gestures. But we became good friends in the last 18 months of his stay here. Now I am the last person surviving in this flat who has signed the initial contract with the landlord in December 2007. Life moves on, but will miss him.

I spent some great moments with a new person in my life and got to know her better and someone close to us went far away. But I know they won’t forget me that easily. I won’t brag, but that’s the effect I have ;-) Enough self-appraisal for the day. Chao.

I Wanna Go Back...

2009-09-17T16:54:00.000+05:30

The transition phase between monsoon and winter is pleasant. Especially the late afternoons and the evenings. I stayed at 6 places in last 25 years of my life. Each place has its own memories and I keep on connecting myself to each of them. Today, as I am sitting idle at my window gazing at the sky through the branches of the coconut tree next to my flat, I am thinking about all those afternoons and evenings I have spent. I still feel nostalgic as I used to feel while leaving each one them. But now, all I want is just one thing: I want to go back in time, and live all those moments all over again. I have no regrets about what I have done so far in my life, just that I found that I was more happy while growing up. Happiness without any conditions. Running to home back from school was the biggest journey for me. Seeing off Dad going to office was the saddest moment of the day. Hitting a boundary off my brother’s bowling was the biggest achievment. And stealing cashew nuts from kitchen was my deepest secret. Can I turn the time back?

I will be at home exactly in a month from now. But it’s getting tough now. Been close to 10 months. Missing it more as I am down with tonsillitis, flu and some usual fever thing. Somebody suggested me yesterday to have a glass of whisky with warm water, but then I was telling myself: you are late dear.

This Is It...

2009-09-13T00:15:00.001+05:30

We sometimes think thousand times in taking a decision, sometimes it can be a real small one. But we take time. To do or not to. To be or not to be. Whether you are right or wrong. Whether the decision is morally correct or immoral. Logical or illogical. Justified or unjustified. Do I need to prove anybody with my decisions? May be no. It hardly matters to the world. All I need to prove is to myself. May be in my life, the number of correct decisions taken to the number of wrong ones tells me to take a call instinctively more often. At the end of it, your life is the sum of the choices that you take.

Me being a teetotaler… sounds freaking scary. Don’t you worry guys. I still love world music and still die for Tom Hanks and Monica Belucci. I still hate travelling and taking calls in the morning. I still am nervous in presentations and still hate Mondays. You can’t take Subhajit out of me. Life’s the same minus some liquids. Will have to find a suitable replacement for that L J

Wake Up...

2009-09-06T16:30:00.001+05:30

Sometimes I think why I did MBA! I actually pondered over this thought many times post my MBA. Last 18 months in corporate life has been full of ups and downs. If I only analyze it with up and downs, it’s all right. Then I ask myself how many days I woke up in the morning and really felt like going to office, with a mind full of new ideas and plans? How many days have I thought of executing my thoughts into action in the office? How many days have I thought of going to office without thinking about my boss’s temper? How many evenings have I returned home with a smile of satisfaction on my face after work? You may ask the same questions to any professional working somewhere or the other and may add some more questions. The answer to more than 90% of them would come “very few”. But why? We are supposed to work at capabilities equivalent to the kind of study that we have done in our MBA days and a level where managerial expertise comes into play. But all we do is to just wake up, run and find a way out till we finish saying "yes sir" and achieving our daily "targets". It's a mad race and we come back all exhausted thinking we managed one more day at the workplace.

You may counter attack the last two lines in the above paragraph by saying that all who pass an MBA are not employable. Agreed. But then those who are not employable are they also not trainable? Have we ever thought in bringing those people who are lagging behind due to the lack of training upwards? No. In today’s time, no one invests in training like Tata Steel, L&T or Mahindra & Mahindra used to do. Even these pioneers have cut their costs on their inductions as well. Marketing pass outs are still selling credit cards with all the pride, thanks to the pay cheque and the flowery designation. Finance guys are still busy in credit recovery with zero learning. And HR hopefuls are still aspiring to work in profiles like PMS or OD while doing recruitment day in and day out. Life is moving, so are they. But till what extent one go like this without any specific target in his/her career. I was happy the starting salary in my last organization offered me right after my MBA, as it also was at par with the industry then. Profile was into generalist HR and after a month I realized generalist means everything that falls under the purview of HR. You also have to send birthday cards to the employees and take office stationary requisition from the employees as well. I look at the daily routine of a friend who stays with me, and I find I am better off. He wakes up at 6:55 in the morning and comes back at 11 PM. He does “hardcore” sales and gets paid well by the private bank for which he works with all the devotion. I remember a line by Rashmi Bansal in her book “Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish” foreword: “if you are paid well to sell soaps after your MBA, will you do that?” This line always fascinates me. Have we studied and dreamt of selling anything for money. Or there was something called as ‘ideas’ turning into ‘reality’? It’s confusing for me, it baffles me every day. But this friend of mine gave all of us a great news when he announced that he is going back to his hometown where he is planning to join his family business and have some great plans to expand it. Sounds so cool, independent, worthy and something that you can take pride for what you doing. I can write another 10 pages on the corporate lives of the young MBAs and may prove that it was not worth studying. But again, it helped me as an individual widen my horizon of knowledge into many domains which I never even heard of.

Things always look better when you are on the other side. My current organization offered me a great profile, I passionately accepted it. Things are going well and fine. I wake up every morning and come back at 9, doing my job. Dad still works in the same bank where he started working 25 years back, satisfied and calls me up to ask how my work is going on. I tell him everything going great. He feels good. I call up Mom once I reach my flat and tell her that her son is doing some great things here in the city of dreams. She feels better than Dad. Sometime I talk to my younger brother and give him some serious advice as if I have really cared for him after I left home 4 years back. I go back to sleep thinking everybody is happy. And then I realize, all I have is just few more hours left to wake up again.

The Third Page of Mumbai...

2009-08-31T01:16:00.001+05:30

Page 3. Sounds so glamorous. But just go back 10 years and you will find almost nothing. I wont talk about any gray side of this new and ever growing culture but rather I will write on we have become a part of it and it has become a part of our lives.

We can start from fashion. Today atleast a guy doing engineering or MBA knows who is Manish Malhotra or a Neeta Lulla. They know them thanks to the coverage by media in both its formats, thanks to the Page 3 gatherings. Their curiosity and interest to know these also matters. Page 3 has become a platform where socialites from different walks & corners of life are meeting to discuss and exchange many ideas than just having some good time with a glass of Château de Villeneuve in their hand. The days are gone when only stars from movie industry were found on the guest list of a page 3 party. Now things are changed, for the venue to the menu and most importantly the kind of people on the guest list. Now one finds a party by Tarun Tahiliani or Vikram Phadnis celebrating the success of their fall winter collection at a gathering. At the end of the day it makes a person like me & many others to know what fashion is and what exactly is the time when a fall winter collection comes out.

Theatre personality and Ad gurus like Alyque Padamsee or Prasoon Joshi are regulars at Page 3 nights. They do not drop in a party because they will get some limelight as they do not need it anymore but they can share ideas, thoughts and meet new people from the same and different fields. Still we do not find the biggies (from the Ad world) like Piyush or Prahlad very often. They still are engrossed in their world of Ads so much. Even many ad campaigns do start off from such page 3 parties.

People like Vijay Mallya, A.D. Singh or Gautam Singhania among many others who has been organising these gatherings from a time when this culture was even existing there. They were labeled as casanovas or debonairs, but they simply gave a damn. Now each electronic and print media house are running around these places for news/sound bytes, among other nice bytes! These parties at places like Olives, Enigmas, Mochas, DV8s, H2Os or Bohemias gave birth to a new gastronomic and spirit revolution. These are the youth's favourite destinations apart from politicians, industrialists, personalities from entertainment industry, media and some only-page 3 regulars. If you go to Delhi and you won't find Suhel Seth there or for that matter Queenie Dhody in Mumbai then the party is surely missing their regular guests.

I always felt Madhur's Page 3 is not a complete picture or even a correct depiction of the Page 3 arena, but just a small part of it. Though it was well-reviewed and appreciated, I thought it's a poor movie where editing was terrible and screenplay was at its worst. Let's not get into the movie. Let's talk about Mumbai where this culture has evolved and bloomed over the years inspite in the auspicious presence of Balasaheb now Raj baba.

This culture is evolving & evolving quite fast. If we can just subtract the illegal part from this, we will have a complete different society altogether where you can find yourself with a completely different set of people.

It's an addiction. Specially when you experience it in Mumba. It really gets into my imagination all the time. It's insane. But it's too damn exciting to stop thinking about it. Glamour has it's attractions.

My Next Script...

2009-08-30T02:09:00.000+05:30

I am a big movie buff. But this year has been a big disaster. Thanks to some worst possible movies made by the biggest possible producers and the great multiplex-producers fight over revenue sharing. The second half of the year looks brighter with some more directors getting ready to deliver their products and I am all ready to experience some long awaited unforgettable moments inside Fame. Asutosh & Rajkumar Hirani are two of those awaited movie makers in my list for this year as Karan delayed “My Name is Khan” to next year. As far as Hollywood is concerned I am still awaiting a movie even closer to the likes of “The Pursuit of Happiness”. “Milk” & “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” were good but not outstanding. Missed “Revolutionary Road”, “The Reader” & “Changeling”, will catch it up soon on DVD.

My blog’s profile clearly states that I am not into fiction. Actually it puts me off, but don’t know why, today thinking to write a small little story. But as the post suggests so far, it would be completely filmy, so no questions on logic. Though I’ll keep it as real as possible (sounds big time clichéd na!). Ok, let’s start, my first story. My story. Well, kind of.

As of now, have kept the deadline of 13th September. So that I can post it on 14th (for obvious reasons, hehe). Let's see if I can meet that. I hope it would be exciting...and as we call it... Paisa Vasool...

Renewing Identities...

2009-08-28T01:10:00.016+05:30

Two men went fishing. One was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn't. Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh.

Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big fish, he threw it back. The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing the man waste good fish. 'Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?' he asked. The inexperienced fisherman replied, 'I only have a small frying pan...'

Sometimes, like that fisherman, we throwback the big plans, big dreams, big jobs, big opportunities that God gives us. Our faith is too small. We laugh at that fisherman who didn't figure out that all he needed was a bigger frying pan, yet how ready are we to increase the size of our faith? Whether it's a problem or a possibility, God will never give you anything bigger than you can handle. That means we can confidently walk into anything God brings our way.

Nothing is too big for God. REMEMBER: Stop telling God ....you've got big problems. Tell your problems ....you've got a BIG GOD!

Well, guys I am not getting spiritual. I shall now therefore humbly propose my own more-real-thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.

My boss in my last organization once asked me what do I understand by NLP. NLP or Neuro-linguistic programming in simple terms means how we identify somebody with some object. Say, if I find my co-worker look like a banana leaf, then in future after 10 years if I see a banana leaf at some place, I can recollect him/her. It’s like giving an unique identification to each & every individual you know. It helps to recollect them, and recollect in a unique way (banana leaf just for an example, no offences meant ;-) hehe). Here I am not proposing any alternative to our great UIN mission headed by Mr. Nilekeni. Just imagine a world where we can resemble somebody with a bird, with an object, with what not; depending upon their nature, the way we know them. I still remember a visiting card of one my friend’s friend who’s great swimmer. She left her so-called high profile job only to pursue her passion further, swimming. Her new visiting card has her name & other details in one side and the other side has water & a picture of dolphin in it. This is what I call is real identity.

I wish in today’s world, if we will have such unique identities that will help us identify each other beyond caste, nationality & religion, we can eliminate few words like: hate, fear, terrorism and so on.

That is the kind of world I would like to see, I know we all would like to see.

We Have Changed :(

2009-08-25T23:59:00.002+05:30

Sometime during last month I had a visit to Inorbit, Vashi and was sitting in the food court with 2 of my friends. There was an artificial children playground there. The number was increasing inside it as it was a weekend. In front me many new cute little angels went inside it and got lost with each other. It really is surprising to know that how in this world, and in today’s time there are still some moments which you see live and wish it would be the exact scenario in the entire world. None of them knew each other; they never even met each other before. But mixed and played as if they know each other for years and as if this is the one last time they are meeting. These days our siblings don’t believe in each other! Friends deceit, our relatives don’t trust us. Our parents don’t believe on us. May be we ourselves don’t believe on our own capabilities. Where is that trust which one can see in those tiny eyes, where is the blind faith which sparkles in those eyes? For those 15 minutes they forget the world and be with each other. How many moments are we spending like that today in our lives? One can give an excuse that time does not allow him/her, but is it that difficult to switch off your mind for 10 minutes. May be we can’t, we can’t live without our cell phones for 5 minutes, switching off mind is too much to ask for.

Now the second and most disturbing thought. I found a mother who came with her daughter (around 6 years old) and sent her to that playground after her repeated request. She was quite sophisticated and well mannered. But the lady is one of a kind guys, she did not even have the interest to go the counter to pay for her daughter. She gave her a 50 rupee note and asked her to go alone and pay, the cutie was apprehensive but went ahead. She paid herself and went inside. Her busy mother went to get some Chinese stuff to eat. While the cutipie lost herself with other children, she didn’t forget her Mumma, kept on calling her to watch how much she was enjoying. To my utter disappointment, she was too damn busy in eating and not even listening her daughter once, for God’s sake, once. She was sitting just 7 feet away from her. The little finally realised it is of no use to call her as she and found her mates inside more close to her heart. I could not understand why do we earn so much, why do we have children & why do we even commit to responsibilities which we can’t complete??? If we can’t be with our own children for 10 minutes when they really need us or want us to be with them, then it is a shame. It really is. I hope we all understand the importance of these delicate relationships one day. Some day...

You Mean Tennis To Me...

2009-07-08T23:40:00.004+05:30

When I see my write up on this blog which I penned on Sunday, February 1, 2009; I wonder how fast things can change, and have changed. It was only Roger’s tears which made me write that piece. Today, while writing this I feel this world is a great leveler. For a split of a second on Feb 1^st I thought whether Roger still has it in him. But no one knew that Australian Open final on that day was just the beginning of a new surge in him that is here to stay. French open followed and before that he defeated the Nadal in Madrid Open. Nadal was shocked by Soderling in the French Open 4^th round. Nadal is yet to come back to play tennis after that and Federer is yet to lose a match after Madrid Open. Fates turn, they do turn fast. Come Wimbledon, Roger’s home for last 7 years and Britain’s child. But this year Britain was behind Andy (Murray) and he did not disappoint as well. He went till the Semis only to get defeated by the other Andy. This year actually saw the resurgent Roddick in his full flow, regaining what he lost in last 6-7 years. He still cherishes the sweetness of the lone US Open title to his credit. Wimbledon arena is neither new to him nor did he fail here. But the problem for this 2-time finalist here is that he has faced the same man in the two finals he played here and is going to face him again this year.

The man waiting for him in the final was down but surely not out. The Fedex was running each corner of the 19 courts at The All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club to clinch that title that eluded him last year. The stage was set. So were the players and their game plans. This match was supposed to be a match to create, break and cherish many records. So the lists of celebrity audience also were present with equal numbers. Pete Sampras, Bjorn Borg, Ivan Lendl, Sachin Tendulkar, Russell Crowe, Sir Alex Fergusson were just to name a few. And they did watch a spectacular match. Roddick took the 1^st and 4^th Set. Federer clinched the 2^nd set from 6-2 down in the tie-breaker and reigned in the 3^rd. 5^th set was going nowhere. Nobody was able to guess who is winning. And there is a reason behind this, the score read 16-14 (as 5^th set do not have a tie-breaker). Many legends reminisced classic battle of Borg, Sampras, Connors. Such was the patience of Federer. Such was the determination of Federer.

He was never out of anybody’s mind. People loved to hate him for his consistency. He was hungry. He was up for it. He waited till God said, ‘this one’s is yours chap’.

Now the only thing that is left for him to in this world: to beat Nadal in a slam final. Otherwise he has beaten him on clay before.

Hail King Roger. As Pistol Pete himself conceded, “you are ‘the’ greatest now”. This is your moment, seize it, and cherish it forever.

This Day, Three Years Back...

2009-06-29T21:11:00.004+05:30

Today I reached Mumbai. Today I faced the monsoon in Mumbai for the first time. I could not sleep last night. As I left my home, left it long long way back. By rail it is 1932 kilometers. Dad is with me. But I can feel the time is running fast, running out. Boarded on the local train for the first time. Landed at Belapur station, not realizing that Kharghar is a different place altogether. Then one great auto driver decided to do his job as it was raining heavily every two minutes. We went to college directly, then to the hostel warden’s place. My first glance of the college was its name on the front and two big trees surrounding it. It still remains in my mind when I think of ITM. I was not happy for a moment, as time was running out. I got my hostel registration done and the college bus took me to my hostel. I got the fifth floor which also happens to be the top floor. Dad came with me, saw the flat, was impressed, but was not happy with the fact that 6 of has to share it. The day was normal, I came back in a flash with my Dad and stayed put in his room at ITM guest house. Nobody won’t believe that I was sharing a single bed with him for 3 days, just because I do not have to go to a place called ‘hostel’. Actually when I analyse, I find that I never had a problem staying in a hostel, just that I never stayed in a place where I did not find either Mom or Dad. Mumbai was just too far for me to reach them if I miss them, or if I am sick or if I just want to be with them. Back to 29^th June. Time was running out. Too fast. Day ended. I went to the college, saw the crowd, canteen and the office. Left the classrooms ;) Came back to the guest house with Dad, roamed a bit in Kharghar with Dad. I just could not leave him for a second. Yes, time was running out. Time was running out for me as I could stay only 2 more days with him. It was not tough for me. It was simply impossible. I mean how could I leave him? I broke down uncountable times at uncountable places. But dad was rock solid. I know he can not afford to be weak in front of me. But so strong!!! Take a bow Dad.

And three years passed. I am looking out of my window from my office to the same station complex where I got down from train. Now I am working on the first floor of the same station, but with few more features added to me. Emotionally more stronger, better prepared for monsoon, a better understanding of Mumbai and a polished sense of humor! But I still remember this day. And the next two days. The day dad left me here and went. First day in college. Mumbai darshan. Lonavala trip. Yoga classes. Boring lectures. Canteen food. Chatting on the LP. Hiranandani market. Friends. Memories.

And Dad, I miss you.

Here Comes the Rain...

2009-06-21T02:08:00.010+05:30

What's going on? I mean wherever I see, I can see people getting married. I have lost count how many people are got married this year and how many are slated!! I mean something is seriously wrong with them or with me! I can not even think of getting married now or in near future, though Mom has set a deadline of 2011 for me. Oh God!!! Help Me....

Monsoon started from today in Mumbai.... This is my 4th meet with monsoon in Mumbai. I hate going out in rain but love spending the quiet afternoons with pakodas or a cup o' coffee gazing through the window pane to those uncountable rain drops all over. The best thing I like about the first drizzle of the monsoon is the smell of the soil. It smells heaven and takes me back many years into my life.

What else!!! Paki boys and Lanka are fighting it out for the world cup T20. All the Indians will be rooting for Srilanka, for obvious reasons. Saina won a Super Series at Indonesia (first by an Indian). Still waiting to see Indians featuring in the top 20 in Tennis & Badminton.

Spending these days with atleast 10 meeting per day in the office with the production team, ops team and then with the bosses. Now I realize why they have printed 'strategic HR' on my offer letter while joining! On a serious note, it is helping me learn, and that's what matters.

Seems Pak is packing up Srilankan players back home and clinching the cup. Wishes to them :(

Sorry for not able to write regularly and thus coming up with these f***ing pieces.

Strictly not missing anybody....

Chao...

I want some time "OFF"

2009-05-27T00:24:00.003+05:30

I really do not know what’s the reason behind blogging less these days. Yes, T&D is taking a big chunk of my time & energy, but I could still manage with my long weekend offs. I feel sad as I am not even able to read Shobhaa’s blog. The only people I am keeping a track are Nainy & Sharad. And I must mention two posts of these guys which I found outstanding. Sharad’s views and analysis on the book ‘India: A Wounded Civilization” by V.S. Naipaul. It is not exhaustive, yet it is quite narrative and the 13 pointers he has given are really thought provoking. It shows how much he has gone into the root of the book and his own perspective which represents a lot of our thoughts. And Nainy’s take on her parents and the upbringing. It so beautifully written & narrated that I recommended atleast 4 of my friends to have a look at it. She talks about the way her parents have changed themselves in course of time and the outlook they share with their children. One line that really moved is, when she says that she is the same person inside the house which she is outside. This sounds so simple but I can bet only less than 5% of the children are able to do that in Indian society. I wish all parents could share such perspective towards life & their children.

No movies since 2 months. It is getting tough for a movie freak like me. Waiting for Angels & Demons releasing on 29th (was supposed to release on 15th). Hope this one would be less complicated from Da Vinci Code. Going to watch Tom uncle after some time. Also waiting for Vishal Bhardwaj’s Kaminey (only for Vishal). IPL got over, so is the fever, but just for the time being as the T20 World Cup is around the corner. What an IPL it has been this year, where the bottom 2 of last year banged in to the finals and fittingly the lowest one clinched the title. Gilly showed his leadership skills just like Shane last year. Ironically, they both never got a chance to lead their national side even after serving it for so long! One of my colleagues in office said prior to the match that she wants Bangalore to win, for the only reason its captain is an Indian! I did not think much into that as she does not follow cricket, but was shocked to see my roomie feeling so bad when Gilly ended up in the winning side. He said and I quote “These Aussies take all the credit, they behave as if they have done everything; last year Warne did it, this year Gilly, we should praise our Indian players”. I preferred to keep quite as I feel this is just the outburst as the team he was supporting (RCB) came as the second best.

And finally, Mr. Singh is back, but most importantly with a bang. No more the cloud of Mrs. Gandhi and even the bachcha Gandhi has cleared the way from the cabinet and is on his way to become another Mahatma. I can smell an outside chance of Mr. Singh falling ill or citing the same reason for vacating the office in next 2-3 years to give the chhote nawab some warm up period as Mr. PM. The funniest moment for me was when Prannoy asked Jyotiradiya about Rahul’s chances as PM, and he replied Rahul’ji’. Everybody saw the amount of sycophancy (he said Manmohan without the ‘Ji’). Chalne do bhai, number toh mila Sonia aur Rahul ji ke party ko, aur kya chahiye?

What a happening May, and we all knew what happened this summer!!!

Where Is Your Kundli?

2009-05-05T22:22:00.002+05:30

Things are going well & fine. I mean sometimes it’s going so fast that I want to have a pause; sometimes it’s too slow. I have got reasons for both. Details some other time. IPL fever is on rise and the fever is getting on the nerve for sure. Who all were saying shifting the tourney to South Africa will lose its charm; had to eat their words. Man, it’s India and you don’t need to play only in Eden Gardens to make it a hit. Wake up guys, this is a different age altogether. Taking a look at the political scenario, it’s getting dirtier everyday and the level is also decreasing. Even Mr. Advani is looking clueless. No need to talk about others. I am getting mad hearing same kinda news everyday. Let Mr. Singh come to rein us again, even if he says “Soniya ji se puchna padega” for everything. We all so-called intellects will talk about BJP but won’t vote, so let Congress take us forward to Gandhian age again! Oh, look at the democratic me! Sorry, politics is only on my other blog. This space is for some straight talk. I’ll stick to that.

While I was coming from office in the evening, I crossed a big automobile dealer which is also rumored to be the highest seller of a big automobile brand in Maharashtra. Two of my colleagues were accompanying me and suddenly someone said ‘tere ko pata hai, yahan pe kundli system chalta hai’. I could not get anything. When probed further, the other colleague said that ‘in logon ka final round kundli system hai’. I curiously asked them, are you guys talking about hiring policy here. To my utter amazement they said yes. I was pretty interested to know the details. They simply said that if you want to apply here for a job, then you have to clear their interview rounds and after the final round of interview, they will ask you for your kundli. Expectedly I asked them ‘why’? They said that’s their policy. I asked what if somebody’s kundli does not match!! Answer was ‘rejection’. I said is it some kind of a joke? For God’s sake, this 2009 and HR has travelled so long to reach a stage where it can call itself a strategic function than a support function. And still such practices are followed in organizations. It’s not a small firm; it has strength of more than 500 employees. This is disgustingly disturbing, regressive and simply a joke on the organizational practices in today’s time. I went blank after all these thoughts and thought what I am doing by talking so big to my employees about ‘employee branding’, ‘change management’….

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome- Isaac Asimov

Hard Times...Harder Truths

2009-04-25T01:14:00.008+05:30

Oh Dear... I am posting after a month... Do not know what's keeping me busy off late; my job or my laziness...or both!!!

I always believed that HR is like a doctor. When a doctor saves somebody’s life, the patient terms him as a God. He becomes the biggest hero of that patient’s life. Just like when an HR offers a job to a needy guy. Neither the doctor nor the HR classifies what is the background of a patient or a candidate before they start their job. Neither they do any favors nor do they take the place of the God. They just do their job. When we see the other side of the coin, it makes the scenario real tough. When a patient dies, then apart from his/her family, the entire mass blames the doctor. As if he deliberately let the patient die. Just like an employee blaming HR and making him/her the biggest villain when they are sacked/laid off. This is just a part of their profile. But a normal person or an employee does not understand this. For them their life or job means everything, rightly so. But why the person sitting other side always has to face the fire? Just because they are doing their duty? What an irony! Tough to understand, tougher to convince. Bu this is life. All the time you cannot keep people happy. That’s why somebody has quite rightly pointed out, if you have kept people around you always happy, then you must sacrificed a lot in your life. It holds true a large extent. Actually, one cannot.

The prime catalyst in igniting this thought in me is the layoff process which I was a part of. Fortunately or thankfully, whatever you say, I was on the other side the fence. But when I put myself in the shoes of employees to whom we break the news that today will be your last day, it feels shocking and it really hurts. The worst part is the after-effects of this. Once you break the news, then you have to face questions to which you do not have an answer. What is the answer, when somebody asks on what basis she/he is laid off, when somebody says I have 3 year old daughter, when somebody breaks down completely, somebody simply says ‘I do not want to go, I love this company’. I did not have the answer to one of these.

But I am doing it, with all the conviction, as a part of my profile, my job & for my organization. Because, when I think from my organization’s standpoint I see a bigger picture. I find that that in order to save 200 employees we need to get rid of those 20 and we made sure that they are the bottom 20 and we also kept other attributes in mind as well. At the same one can also see a larger perspective if he/she goes through the record of layoffs in last 6 months alone in bigger brands. Be it IBM, Jet Airways, Wipro or many others. Their layoff process and pattern is tougher and sometimes humiliating, but they can say that they can afford it. Because they have a big brand name attached to it.

It’s just that, I am just an average guy overloaded with organizational goals and preloaded with emotions. So it becomes tough to find a perfect equilibrium. You know what, I was wrong to think that recruitment was monotonous, it is too far better than saying ‘goodbye’. We all are a part of this corporate culture, sooner we realize & accept it, better for us. This culture has got two sides, but one should take all in the right spirit and come out of it as a winner.

Just another day at office!!!

[the above views are my personal take on a particular issue, my organization does not represent these opinions]

One Fine Friday

2009-03-28T12:08:00.000+05:30

Yesterday was a great day. I got some time off and I think I made the most of it. My usual Saturday night outs are now becoming monotonous after exploring all the places in this central suburb. Yesterday was Friday and I had my lunch at Inorbit, Vashi followed by a ‘Choco Mint’ at Costa Coffee. I love coffee, but was bored by going to CCD every time. So Costa Coffee was the result, the concept is same including the menu (they literally ripped of some names from CCD as well). The only differentiating factor was the music. And, here you have to place the order yourself at the counter and then they will serve you. In this case I prefer the traditional waiter-approach at CCD. After getting my order my table, my friend asked for extra sugar to a coffee-waiter. But he just nodded his head and went away; he did the same while I was placing the order. So I was almost ready to fire him next time. My friend called him again, I was ready, and so was my friend. He came and politely directed with a nice smile that another waiter will attend us as he can not hear! Oops… I felt bad, guilty and ashamed of my thoughts and anger. I mean he never showed any dissent at us but we assumed whatever we could. Then my usual self went into analytical mode. I asked myself is it correct to employ somebody who is deaf at such a place where the target crowd is intolerant of these human failings. Or have they taken a right decision and have sent a right message to others. He was a young, decent looking, energetic and chilled-out guy. He was serving with utmost ease. He was keeping himself as busy as others and you really can not make out that he just can’t hear. But the problem arises when the customer asks him anything, he has to rush back to his colleagues and send them to that particular table. It is going to happen not once but many a times that somebody will shout for his behavior and things might go wrong due to his communication. Or may be one day the management thinks they can’t be anymore tolerant and release him. What next for him? In India how many places like this and how many organizations come forward for people like him who are just like us minus one thing?

I can write on & on. But do not want to. Feeling bad for him but I do not sympathize. Coz he does not need that, he needs equal right and opportunity. Can remember his face now as well. And his expressions. And this world. Full of sounds, music, noises.

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My evening was equally engaging as I went to Colaba after so long. I always felt places like Colaba and few others give you the reason why Mumbai is called city that never sleeps and the level of the crowd is completely different. I strolled the bylines from Kalaghoda to Café Leopold and for the first time found it so quiet and traffic-free (as yesterday was a state holiday). I shopped and then was in a real mood to visit either Leopold or Mondegar. Then thought of my resolution of only keeping these visits limited to Saturdays only. ;)

Where is Gandhi?

2009-03-24T00:38:00.001+05:30

I was not convinced with all the principles of ‘Gandhism’, also questioned many of his decisions in the later part of his life. Keeping these things aside, I respect the father of our nation immensely just because of his ability to influence billions of people without adhering to any easy way or short cut. He did whatever he could to send back the Britishers, and we did whatever we could to put him in our everyday life. Monuments, currency, roads, museums, movies and what not. He is everywhere. He is everywhere in this materialistic world and we worship him in our constitution, at our college entrance and in uncountable songs. So much so that he and his ideas has now become a hot selling property. Westerners have emulated two things from us with utmost passion: Yoga & Gandhism. Deepak Chopra has become a billionaire doing something I never understood and numerous others are following him.

As I have pointed out the commercial value (don’t say commercialization) of Mr. Gandhi in today’s context, I meant to say what he & his ideas worth, where they stand and what we exactly are doing. This thought came to my mind when a so-called gentleman (he does not deserve to be named) from US has put 5-6 belongings Mr. Gandhi on auction early this month. He has announced this decision of his long way back, but neither our government has responded to it nor the public. When the date of auction came closer the media, the great great (I am not sure if I have to put one more ‘great’) grandsons of Gandhi family, our caring politicians and the public woke up and so is the patriotism in our hearts. Wow…what a feeling. I believe we have discussed, analyzed and recalled the life and works of Mr. Gandhi more on March 5^th (the date of auction) this year more than October 2^nd. What an irony! That to we get a national holiday on October 2^nd, but still we don’t have time to think about the great man once, instead we plan out whether we can club that ‘holiday’ with weekends to go out for a relaxed time at Matheran. Let’s understand the different perspective, the media: every channel flashed that we must bring back the belongings which are our national heritage!!! Our today’s leaders said: the govt. must act in time to save our national pride (the opposition) and we will ensure that we will stop the auction at any cost (the govt.)!!! Mr. Gandhi’s family cried in anger over the govt.’s slow response and started talking of “Gandhism” which even I never heard of!!! Finally, when asked, the public gave a different verdict, a mixed one though. Some said we must bring them back and some were of a view that rather than stopping the auction, we must participate in it and bid the highest (for sometime I thought the same as well). And most surprisingly, a fair amount of people has had the opinion that we do not need to spend so much for Bapu’s items as we already are reeling under economic turmoil.

I also had some heated discussions over it. Then we concluded with certain facts that made us realize what exactly Gandhism stands for (Rajkumar Hirani’s thoughts also helped us!!!). At the end of the day whose belongings were these? So, if we ask Mr. Gandhi about this activity what would have been his reply today? It would have been as simple as this: “I do not need all this, I only gifted it to people I liked & admired.” For him, what matters is the way people think. He always said, "If you want to follow something, then follow the ideas not me." He could not even imagine people auctioning his belongings for such prices that would suffice 50 BPL families in India for a lifetime!!! And tell me why we need these things at all? To show that we respect this great man? We spit on his statues, we have used his last name to make money in every possible way, political parties have got votes and won elections using him as a brand, we do all the possible corruption in all possible government offices in front of his huge pictures and with currencies where Mr. Gandhi is there in each one of the notes!!! And finally, when we will get back those belongings where are we going to keep them? Have we ever seen the condition of our museums where his personal items are kept? We do not have place to keep them safely and there is nobody to take care of them. I am not feeling bad, I only feel like laughing on ourselves. We have crossed such limits of hypocrisy that we simply are in a state of denial to the real meaning of Gandhism. And somewhere down the line, I am a part of it as well.

And the end result to all this drama: A liquor baron (the same guy who also brought back the sword of Tipu Sultan from UK few years back) has got these items where one of his representatives was present. He got it for 1.8million US dollars (a cool 9 crore rupees). Now some more drama, the govt. said that they were in talks with Dr. Vijay Mallya who bid the highest. Dr. Mallya denied any such talk, hehehe. What a farce! Is this the kind of govt. that serves us and talks of national pride and attach themselves to Gandhi’s legacy!!! Finally, some more irony or rather should I say some more food for thought…The govt. may now charge the import duty on these belongings!!! And you guys must be aware how much we charge on import duties. Remember Sachin’s Ferrari? It was exempted from any duty!!! But Mr. Gandhi’s things can not!!! He is no more a Mahatma, because we have made sure all the ways to humiliate him in our everyday life.

Long live Mahatma. Long live Gandhism.

Or should I say……..Hail Democracy. Hail our leaders!!!

The World Of Angels

2009-03-09T02:35:00.005+05:30

I wanted to post this on Sunday, but all my desperate attempts went in vain thanks to the long Saturday night out and Sunday engagements. I really made it a point to post this in time which I rarely do for other posts. Apologies to my good self.

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A small baby…a cute little girl…an obedient daughter…a supporting sister…an obedient & faithful wife…a never-complaining & ever-sacrificing mother…and somebody’s aunt and somebody’s in-law.

Hmm…Well, a boy also goes through many different phases in his life. But, as a 25-year old guy in this male-dominated society (yes, we still are); I would have to admit the fact that a girl spends her life with more contentment than her counterpart. This has been a norm, a fact & such a truth that I often wonder but agree. We gotta accept it, realize it & acknowledge it, sooner…the better. Life starts and it moves on, so fast that we forget to ask our closed ones few simple yet important questions. We ask them "are you okay" instead of "are you really happy"…we say them the dinner was good instead of has she ate at all...We have always been indifferent towards her. We say we care for her, but there are moments when she needs us and we must be there with her in those moments.

What makes me worried more is that after so many years of talking woman emancipation, upliftment, education and blah blah blah, we are still having one of the highest rape cases registered everyday. We still misbehave whenever we get a chance, we still love to pass a comment irrespective of age, location or situation. I mean when all these are going to stop? We talk so big about being cosmopolitan, gen next, youngistan and the result is in Delhi girls are not able to go outside after 7 in the evening alone!!! Is this our meaning of a metropolitan city! We are inhumanly hitting girls in the pub, we are molesting them in the New Year eve in front of 5-star hotels and we stalk whenever we find them alone. I know all men are not doing this, but still there is big section and we are simply keeping a blind eye on this.

I don't have a sister and I am yet to get married. But I have experienced and gone through the feelings of my mother closely. And only staying away from her made me realize her place & importance in my life, my heart. Let’s just put my observations of many mothers I have seen in last 24 years. They remain tensed more than 24 hours a day, and all the time for their children and their husband. Even if the children are married or their spouses are just too busy to even call back to say hello. You know what; they love shopping, they love going out to have dinner, they love travelling just like a teenage girl; but they hardly get to do these things in their life as once they step into another home, they get stuck taking the responsibility for everybody else, they start (sometimes they have to) loving everybody unconditionally, they simply forget the word ‘priority’ as they gift this to people around. I mean how can be someone so selfless!!! It takes a hell lot of somebody not to think about herself every morning she wakes up from her bed. But these women spend their lifetime without asking themselves "Am I happy". Such an irony.

No. Just don't assume. She is NOT okay. Ask her. What she really wants. She is endowed with nature's creative power. Let us empower her with right to live respectfully & choose independently. As Shobhaa De rightly said in her post, for every Hillary/Sonia/Oprah there are millions who live & die in grief. This grief falls on them like steady rain that never lets the sun shine through those dark clouds. Another dimension of a woman's life is the relationships she nurtures. She plays so many roles as I have written earlier that she needs space to nurture them.

In my experience, the men or women, actually seeks you out if he or she really cares. It is important to let yourself be missed or to miss. Men are nobody to give women opportunity or options. What they can give is respect, freedom and space to help them grow in their best way possible.

Saluting the spirit of womanhood.

Happy Women's Day.

HOPE......What next Oh!BAMA ?

2009-03-07T02:52:00.001+05:30

When ‘hopes’ linger on, dreams continue to flow.

I wrote this line 3 years back when I was in the 2^nd trimester of my MBA. For many reasons, I could not write much on ‘hope’, rather I started writing on dreams. And now I got more than just one reason to write on ‘hopes’, or rather on somebody who is the most ‘hope’ful person in this world.

"I'm talking about something more substantial. It's the hope of slaves sitting around a fire singing freedom songs; the hope of immigrants setting out for distant shores; the hope of a young naval lieutenant bravely patrolling the Mekong Delta; the hope of a millworker's son who dares to defy the odds; the hope of a skinny kid with a funny name who believes that America has a place for him, too. Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope!"

These are just one of the many quotes by Mr. President, Barack Obama. Right from the beginning if his campaign till today he believes in giving hope to each American and the world. Actually we must also understand the fact that he took over the charge from somebody who has run USA in the most artificial way possible in the last decade. Secondly, he comes into power when the global economic turmoil is at its worst possible scenario and his own country is badly hit. What he did so far may not be the indicator of his future plans but the best part is his image still gives a feeling of positivity in American citizens. Unless Americans would not have shown much admiration for a black after so many years of their independence (though many other major factors were involved as well). I was happy to see Denzel Washington on the pre-sworn in address with Tom Hanks. Finally, something happened that was fitting to the occasion.

If we assess the accountability factor of Mr. Obama since he has entered the White House from an Indian perspective, it really has shown us little hope, but only so far. We can always hope for more and better from Mr. Obama, especially when Mrs. Clinton is on the board. I won’t count the other members in his cabinet whose names has some Indian connection as it would be an act of fooling ourselves. Senator Clinton still has strong relation with Chatwals and the other big NRIs. And the NRIs has always been supported Clinton & Co. When it comes to expectations from India's point of view, I believe there few issues but complex ones. To start with the economic downturn, the ever rising terrorism, bilateral relationship on diplomatic front and an alliance with long term mutual goals. Though these are vast issues having different dynamics attached to it, but so far Obama has assured his co-operation on all these fronts. But he has not been able to control one thing which everybody has predicted well before he was elected, that he might nor support the outsourcing issue. And now he has taken a decision that indirectly, but surely affects the huge outsourcing sector that has been the bread & butter for lacs of Indians now. He has made the tax options more stringent for those firms which are outsourcing, ending the previous tax benefits allowed to them. These actions will result in vast cost cutting in this economic condition.

One last thing that I believe Obama should also focus on this time is the long awaited topic of issue of Visas to foreign students. UK has always been attracting foreign students more than any other country due to its easier entry. Now Australia is emerging as the next best destination for studies amongst the students. US, which have some of the finest universities, is lagging behind. They got to make the process less complicated by modifying the regulations.

I am as 'hope'ful as ever, this time there's somebody to show them more...In such a time, hope is a very powerful attribute to hold specially when most people have lost theirs. It is something that has positivism attached to it and is a quick healer to myriad woes.

P.S :- Well, I would like Jinu, the political expert, to add his comments on this post as his insights would make this this post complete.

We Want More...Hey You Suhel & Shobhaa

2009-03-05T14:04:00.004+05:30

I would like to thank my roomie for provoking me to put this post. And secondly Ms. De has just replied to one of my comments on her blog. So her reply made my day and this post dedicated for her.

We were watching CNN-IBN the other night when Sagarika Ghose was in discussion with Suhel Seth, Ravi Prasad (BJP) & Manish Tiwari (Congress). The topic was Political Ad Campaigns = Vote. When asked about Congress spending crores on Ads and BJP's 2004 'India Shining' campaign, Suhel's comment were so blunt and on the face that both the politicians started shouting on him and even asked why is not he contesting polls himself? Well, that was embarrassment at its utmost height. And this has not happened for the first time in Indian television. When academicians, executives and people like us ask questions on the credibility of any activity carried out by the politicians they always go on defensive and duck the question.

I am writing this because a guy like me has been listening & reading to people like Suhel, Shobhaa De many other exeuctives and academicians for last 8 years in various channels and newspapers and now blogs and those 92 million people who has a cable connection at their home (I am not including DTH service). Now as the politicians keep on asking questions on the credibility of people like Suhel Seth or Shobhaa De and for the information for the people reading this post, here is what Suhel all about. Or for that matter I would say to those including my friends who think that people like Shobhaa or Suhel are more of a media-created speakers.

Professionally success came early to Suhel as an Adman at O&M he was involved in copywriting & marketing. In the year 1997 saw the birth of his brainchild Equus Advertising. Theatre is an abiding passion with him, with over a hundred stage performances under his belt. As is his love for the written word. Now he is the CEO of Counselage, the Delhi-based hot-to-trot brand and marketing consultancy. He writes for Outlook, The Telegraph and many other weeklies. He is a regular blogger at CNN-IBN and top news channels like NDTV 24*7 and Times Now ask for his comments on breaking news. Some say he is the most invited person in the country. From a dinner at an embassy or sharing the same table with the ex-national security advisor of India or for that matter political biggies like Advani or Manmohan Singh. Well if all these magazines, newspapaers & top channels are fools then all I can say is long live politicians and God save the ccuntry.

As far as Shobhaa De (mark that extra 'A') is concerned she is born to a Maharashtrian family having six children from two marriages. She is a graduate in Psychology from St. Xaviers, Mumbai and forayed into journalism in early 1970s. She founded and edited three magazines – Stardust, Society, and Celebrity. Stardust is still running strong. In the 1980s, she contributed to the Sunday magazine section of the Times of India. An author of 15 novels including best sellers like Superstar India, Starry Nights, Spouse, Surviving Men, Second Thoughts, Sultry Days and many more. Right from a top name in the page 3 circuit of both Mumbai & Delhi to a woman associated a number of charities. She loves travelling and a known personality in the international media as well. She still continues to write for The Times of India editorials, Asian Age/Deccan Chrinicle & many more. She is now a regular blogger with a huge following. She is one of the finest Indian writers in English language. She is somebody who I believe has changed the way we look at issues and her perspective has always been free from bias. She raised voices on topics we never dared to discuss and she made her voice audible to people who matter.

These personalities came from pretty normal background as we do. But they have carved a niche for themselves in their own way and by their own capabilities without trying to be fussy. I and many like me also follow them not because they come in the television but they speak what they believe in, which we can relate to. People complain that these personalities are fake but they discuss about them. They dislike, yet they follow. Some admire them, some hate them as well, but all watch them.

Coz, at the end o' the day: THEY TALK SENSE...

Journalism Redefined....Reinvented

2009-03-03T00:10:00.012+05:30

I have been watching news since my childhood. To start with it was Hindi as I could not understand the fast English accent of the news-readers. By the time I was in the standard 6, I started watching English news for more than 1 reason. I find it less-fussy and no-nonsense as compared to regional news shows. As I am posting a lot of personal experiences, I got feedback on writing on other issues that I like. Well I love sports; Tennis, Cricket and F1. I follow politics regional & national. I am a big movie buff and listen to all kind of music. I was/am a literature student, so my admiration to Shakespeare and gang will be obvious. My profession is into Human Resources but I love the creative field. And the creative field includes advertising, media (print & electronic), event management and finally today's Page 3. And last but not the least, I am a techno-freak. This is my first post in this series where I believe I can write on all these topics from time to time.

Here goes my tribute to media & journalism and a channel that re-invented these.

In the year 2003 a channel was launched that has simply revolutionized the way people used to watch news. It changed many things starting from the content, it's presentation, fresh & more appealing programme concepts and most importantly a host of people who not only understood journalism but redefined it. This includes names like Burkha Dutt, Rajdeep Sardesai, Arnab Goswami, Vikram Chandra headed the by undoubtedly the big daddy of Indian journalism Dr. Prannoy Roy. Though NDTV's existence was there much before 2003 in different associations and formats right since from 1988. It all started when New Delhi Television has privately produced a weekly half-hour show "The World This Week" for DD that was aired on Fridays. It has produced a series of successful and award-winning shows like "Jeena Isi Ka Naam Hai" , "Jai Jawaan", "We the People" and "The Big Fight"; the other news channels also learned few lessons how news can be presented as it is without adding any masala in it.

NDTV has got uncountable milestones of 'firsts' attached to it's feathers in its illustrious journey over last two decades. It was the first private producer of news in India ending DD's monopoly and government controlled broadcasting, the first to use beta cam, the first to go digital. In 1989 NDTV produced India’s first live televised coverage of the country’s general elections. In 1998, NDTV was the sole content provider for the 24-hour news channel, Star News. In April 14th, 2003 it has launched two 24-hour news channel NDTV 24×7 in English and NDTV India in Hindi. After that it only moved on & on launching one the best business channel NDTV Profit in 2005. In late 2008 NDTV forayed into more niche segment starting two more channels, NDTV Imagine and NDTV Good Times. These two channels were a joint venture with different corporates.

During this course of NDTV's ascent it has seen many of it's initial employees leaving and starting up their own ventures. Rajdeep Sardesai who was the managing editor of NDTV from 2003 to 2005 and become a household name as the host of "The Big Fight" has now the editor-in-chief of CNN-IBN. Arnab Goswami has moved on to become the editor-in-chief of Times Now. And these are two credible English news channels in India apart from NDTV. Many argue with me, but I always felt that both Rajdeep & Arnab has evolved and passed out from Prannoy's school of journalism. So I always give credit to Pranoy for this.

The currency of news journalism is ethics & credibility. News is a serious business and should have high quality content, credible coverage and representation and responsible journalism with producers who will not go down the tabloid route ever. NDTV represents all these qualities. And, thanks to the a CA who later worked for PWC before setting up NDTV, Dr. Prannoy Roy.

Enough for today, next time it will be CNN-IBN & Times Now who are really becoming biggest threats to NDTV in coming years. But at the end of it I am happy that I & the viewers have a choice now. They just don't have to watch the monotonous, repetitive, dull, tailored & terribly produced news by DD and all those so-called "breaking news" & sansanikhej channels!!!

An Indian...To the Core

2009-02-23T11:41:00.003+05:30

I am not writing this post because the Oscars just got concluded at the Kodak Theatres 30 minutes back. But only because one person whom I followed & admired since I heard him first has just bagged the best possible recognition that one dreams of. A.R. Rahman, people call him genius, for me just one word "maestro". You know what, I fought with my friends over him as 8 out of 10 times they said that his songs are not up to the mark in his new movie, I always ask them to listen it again & again. Because that is where the strength of Rahman lies. He is probably the only music director in India with songs that has so much repetitive value. You listen them more, you like them more and you get addicted. You get hooked to it.

But many times he did not get the recognition he deserved. A man who started his career with Roja (his 2nd movie) created songs like Dil Hai Chhota Sa. The sounds that he created in early days in his career were simply ahead of the time. He still makes it a point to thrill his listeners with a new musical instrument. Initially, the mass took some time to accept it. The critic were as usual sceptical and his competitors simply written him off saying this boy is just trying his luck. Yes, that boy who was only 26 when he gave us Roja, is surely lucky enough to bag the Oscars for the best original score at the 81st Academy Awards. He is surely lucky enough that the best of the film makers like Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra, Asutosh Gowarikar, Mani Ratnam only & only use his services whenever they think about music. He surely is lucky enough that many times his music becomes a better success than the movie itself (ex: Yuvvraaj, learn Subhashjii). And he surely is lucky enough to be the only Indian composer to work in the most international projects so far.

No, neither he was nor he is lucky. He earned it for himself, in that process for India. He deserved it. Many composers have come & vanished after him (Aadesh, Ismail). Many biggies were no longer getting work (Jatin, Lalit, the great Anu Malik or Nadeem-Shravan). And today when the taste of the youth has changed a lot from hearing the monotonous heavy voice of Kumar Sanu and stereotype tracks, Rahman is one guy who is still going stronger and better than before. For he is one who always believed in two things: innovation & experimentation. Now he again faces competition just like his early years, but from a new gen composers, primly 3 of them: Pritam, Vishal-Shekhar & Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy. But he has his style unchanged and still the most sought after musician.

In one of his interviews when a Tamil reporter asked him why does not he speak in Tamil, his mother tongue! He said "I do not even speak in Hindi or for that matter Urdu, I would like to take India to the world. So I speak one language, that is music. I am not a Tamil or a Muslim. I am an Indian." So it is no wonder that he recreated our national anthem with utmost dignity. He sang for Tamil Nadu, he sang for Delhi, he sang for Mumbai, he sang for Taj Mahal.

He, Rahman, always sang for India...

Summer of '09

2009-02-21T16:47:00.008+05:30

I reminisce those days of summer. Summers of 1993 to 2008. 15 years, long time. I spent these years at as many as 5 different places. So I experienced many shades of summer at different locales and with different set of people. We kept on moving to different places and I grew upon with various societies and not to forget the summers. I love winter & I hate Monsoons, and Mumbai has contributed a lot in hating Monsoons. But there is something about the scorching heat. It has given me moments that I will keep with for the rest of my lifetime.

We left our village when I was 9 and moved to a small town which was full coal mines. So you can presume the amount of dust & heat over there. I have faint of my village where I lived 5 years. Coming back to the coal-mines town where I have spent 5 years, it was a place where the majority of crowd was directly or indirectly employed with the coal company there. During summers we generally have the long vacation called as "Summer Vacation". My summer vacation starts badly after my exams as I again fair badly and soon I forget all those admonitions of my father and engage myself in playing Cricket. A typical day during summers at that time starts with my mother telling to take bath as early as possible for she always felt only animals takes shower after 12 noon. I sincerely did not follow this from my childhood and it is still there, though my office schedule forces me to be human ;) Once I take my bath the lunch will be ready on the dining table. The speciality of summers is rice in water (we call it 'Pakhala' in Oriya) and some fries and 3 other dishes. Mumma always made it a point to prepare as many dishes as possible and blaming my father for his demand for a lavish menu!!! My post lunch session includes two prime things: either irritate my younger brother or sleep, how exciting. Sleeping in summer afternoons after a sumptuous meal has its own charm. Miss those siestas, really. In this small town full of coal fields, I remember the siren notifying the shift change for the workers of the mines. It also made me wake up many times as well. I hate the siren for many reasons other than disturbing my sleep. The evening siren sends me the warning my home tutor’s arrival and the night siren tells it is time to turn off the television or else father will be doing the honours. It actually became a part of my life till I stayed there.

Then we came to another small township near to the coastal belt of Bay of Bengal. I loved one thing about this place, its education standard and awareness. One thing I hated was the people's thinking and lack of looking beyond the specific boundary. There we stayed for 2 years where I have completed my 10th board exams. My experience over there was very limited as my schedule was more or less the same minus the afternoon naps. Either I watched TV for long hours or go to a friend's place who has his huge bungalow that had a separate room only meant for him and his close friends like me. I always missed my personal room at all the places we stayed, I always shared my room with my younger brother with whom I never found anything common to discuss or share. It is like two aliens living in one room. Only thing we both did with utmost sincerity was to fight fiercely using all possible weapons. But like the siren of the coal city, I had some unforgettable summer moments of this place as this is where I got the platform to go outside the academics and dis something that made my father feel proud of me, finally. I participated in all the Quiz competitions and my practice of keeping myself updated of current affairs helped me to stand in top 3 of all competitions I participated in. After coming 1st in all the events towards the end of my 9th standard, 6 months in a row, I suddenly started coming in 2nd position. It continued and it seemed I could not reach the top position again. I started analysing and found out a student 1 batch junior is winning all those events. I never go to him to congratulate or wish him. I also started coming in 2nd in group events as well. One day I decided to think like a politician as I felt it was high time to set my ego aside to start a coalition. I had a chat with him and I made him my team mate. And then...no looking behind. We swept all the prizes that were there in the next year including one state level award. After teaming up, we made it a point not to compete against each other, thus giving each other fair chance of winning. We virtually decided who is going play and who is going to win. You call it my diplomatic step for ensuring my top slot or whatever...now I wish if Federer and Rafa could do that, there will not be any heartbreaks!!!

Then I moved into another smaller town, very calm and quiet. Nature at it's best. Open spaces and lovely weather. Just one problem, a big one. The people over there had more interest in the neighbour's affairs than theirs. Irritating, but I had no option as father was working away from home at that time. I was officially given the task to take care of house. I felt good about the responsibility I was given, but when I realised that I had to pay the bills, shop, call the plumber etc etc, I found enough excuses to get away from it. This is the first place where I roamed around outside home during summers, for many reasons than one. First, I was in 11th, no more schools, so the freedom. Then I felt like I am old enough not to listen to my mother anymore, also father was not there at home. All the teenage josh was running in the blood. My summer afternoons at this place were spent at college campus, friend's places, loitering in the market, spending time at a cyber cafe nearby. One of the places where I have spent a lot of time during the summers is the hostel campus of our college where I used to stay for long hours and studied an interesting subject called 'Love'. I learned its basics, and then went on to complete my PhD in it. After my completion of doctorate in Love, I also went on to become a start-up advisor for other aspirants in this field. It worked for many of them and my popularity increased. I was down with fever of love throughout my 12th standard. I did all the adventurous stunts like writing letters, watching my girl from the roof of her house, meeting her at the district science centre. What a phase that was! Everybody moved on, apart from me. Even the father of that girl went on to become the Principal of our college when I was in the 2nd year of my graduation. I felt like Raj Aryan whenever he (I used to call him Narayan Shankar of ‘Mohabbatein’) visits our class or I go to collect an award for essay competition from him. I was a Science student then and I was roaming more than the Commerce students. And the results of my 12th board gave the reply of all those precious times I lost, especially during summers. Finally, I became serious about my career and after a mutual discussion with my father I studied where my heart belonged to; English literature. The last 2 summers of my graduation was the best as I read a lot of books and felt good about it, which includes William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, John Keats, William Wordsworth & so many. But one guy whom I admired reading and fell in love was R.K. Narayan. I have spent many summer afternoons reading his short stories, novels and his autobiography.

Then we moved to a much bigger city and the capital, Bhubaneswar. It was a place I always dreamt of staying at. I always knew we are finally going to settle down here. We already had 2 homes here and that is the reason I convinced my father to shift here even I had my final year of graduation left at the last place. The next 4 years that I lived here before going to Mumbai were worth remembering as I lived a lifetime during that span. I have many moments spent there that includes summers full of fun. I wake up at 10 in the morning and then I go out before coming to have my bath & lunch. Then again I zoom back to friends at different corners of this beautiful city and come at 11 in the night. I hardly spent any time at home. Here my summer afternoons were less exciting than the evenings. I have got my evening planned out from the previous day. From datings to hang outs, everything was so perfect. I remember the cool breeze that brings the real charm of this city. It is a place where I found my friends pursuing their careers from the places I stayed in the past. So I felt very much attached to this place finding all of them at one place. As far as my exciting recollections of summers are concerned, I would say that I reached a stage where my friends ask me for some serious advice on relationships and I give them a prompt reply even if I had a big argument with my girlfriend 3 minutes back. They always saw me as a benchmark as I was very stable in my relationship. It made feel good and stronger to give better advices ;)

Finally I moved to another capital, a much bigger one compared to the one I lived in. I have been here for last 3 years starting from 2006. But my summer connection is very less with the city. The first summer after coming here, I spent doing my internship at my hometown and the second summer I was busy in my first job post my MBA complying with the orders of my bosses in an air-conditioned office. No more fooling around, no more datings, no more hang outs; thus fewer memories. Though Mumbai has given me a lot including some of the unforgettable night outs, but summers is one season that I am yet to spend here like I spend it in my younger days at different parts.

As I see the advent of another summer in Mumbai... I know I can not do it again...for sure...as that stage is past...as those years will not come back...and those memories are only going to stay in the past. Have I grown old? But I wish...I wish sincerely that I could live those memories again...I want to experience those moments again...those sirens...quiz competitions...those days of being a advisor...days with friends all around...and Mumma’s handmade dishes...ice creams she made...mangoes...I loved them all...

I wish to live it again...days of scorching heat...those days....My Days

Go Away...Please Don't...

2009-02-16T00:47:00.007+05:30

Why couples fight...why they get upset everyday or every alternate day??? Some get upset every 30 minutes as well!!! They go on a date after a fight, may be that helps them to get back to normalcy, atleast they believe so. And they again fight after coming from a date as well. They fight in the college, in the canteen, in front of the cake shop, at night after talking over 4 hours, inside the local train(yes, they still have energy left to start a fight inside Mumbai locals), in front of friends, over chat and in many such weird places and situations that will amuse you, me and everybody.

Now let's spend 120 seconds on the reasons for these fights. Sometimes the boyfriend throws the girl's toothbrush...she says that his mother should not comment that she looks fatty on photographs...he says she does not picks his calls in time...she says he does not give her attention while talking to her...he says XYZ is becoming a friend of hers too fast...she says he has got too many girls in his Orkut friend list...he says that why she wants to have curtains of her aunt's choice after marriage...she says he can never understand her...he says that she analyses him just too much and sometimes he gets confused who exactly she is...she says who called him at midnight yesterday...he says that he bought movie tickets & her male colleague commented it's a flop movie...she discusses her problems with another guy...she says he is obsessive....he says she loves him too much, but not practical...she says she does not know why she loves him...he says he can never love her as much as she does, but that is what the problem...she says that he hates chocolate flavour ice cream...he says she expresses herself too much in the public...she says he does not express himself or his feelings...so on & on & on....to be precise I would say these are only 5% examples...so you can guess now.... Precisely, in the first few years both fight for reasons that includes them, next few years they fight for reasons that affects both, but not necessarily includes both of them and then what happens is you both run out of reasons to fight for. Then both fight for reasons that includes third parties...such as another guy, one more girl or for that matter each other's friends.

They fight every now and then...they reconcile...and 9 out of 10 times they do not find or try to find a solution which may help them not fight on that particular issue. But why? Because when they see each other in the eyes, they just find one thing...love. And after a day or two they start again on the same issue, the magnitude of fight may go bigger...again reconcile...Again solution is kept inside the carpet...love comes back to air again...everything seems to be beautiful again.

I simply hate these fights...these couples...and I hate why they do not find a solution...and they become so blind...When I analyse these instances I laugh.I mean why they even fight when they accepted each other unconditionally. Why they find so many reasons to fight for? Why outsiders become a reason to fight for? Really irritating...really they are...so stupid...so silly...I hate them...and...and..I miss...

......................................

I miss these fights...I miss that someone with whom I can fight...These fights, when analysed, seems so disgusting that you can only laugh. But when you are in love you do not analyse, you love...you care and you forgive...you forget...and you fight again. That's the beauty of love, the power of love. You do not need a solution at all, even when it is most necessary. This heart is such a stupid place that sees nothing except love.

Miss these moments...miss the love...miss those silly reasons...miss those days...miss that someone...and those fights...

A League of His Own...

2009-02-13T01:01:00.009+05:30

In our family, there is one guy with whom I interacted very less, so less that I rarely knew his daily schedule. He is very, very close to me as far as family ties are concerned. But we rarely talk, once in a while wish each other (that to with utmost discomfort). In an entire year we sincerely remember one thing, i.e. our birthdays. We even meet each other properly once in late night or sometimes once in every 2 days. Now that I moved to Mumbai since 3 years, those rare meetings and interactions have lessened.

But I realized one thing after I left my home. That, he is one guy who does not like to command anybody on anything, and he expects the same treatment for himself too from others. Nice principle, but I took it as arrogance many times and gradually decreased my involvement in his matters. We grew up, but things only become more mute day by day, till the extent that my friends often asks me how can I behave like this to someone so close to me. But he never complained, may be he knew I understand him or I know him. When I ask the same to myself that whether I knew him or know him that well; my heart says a big NO. And I know my heart is right. Time I spent in Mumbai has made me understood that. I find so much of pain...I find some liquid substance in eyelids...I feel so much guilt...I feel that I have committed a crime by not performing my responsibility properly towards someone who was supposed to get that. I know he never asked or even had expected anything from me. But how can I be so blind? I always believed in love and being loved. Never applied this for him, I believe.

The following is the testimonial I wrote for him a year back, because I think I would never have written this if I would have been at home. Here it goes:

“ I’m a guy who rarely expresses his feelings.So it took me almost 24 years to write something about this boy.It even took me 18 months in Orkut & after writing 20 testimonials,to write for this commerce graduate.Let’s start with some of the not-so-good qualities about him:

A disorganized person…now don’t ask me for details

U just take life as it is,never think of future…It’s OK,bt it wont help in long run

U r terrible in expressing yourself (just like ME)

Spend a hell lot of money in buying apparels, every now & then

U feel satisfied after getting what is expected of u,bt I need to see the hunger to think ahead…ahead of others

Spends huge amount of time in gaming in computer

Hey hey...wait,this boy is not that bad also…to list just a few of his nicer credentials:

Has got a good friend circle…It’s really necessary

Less emotional, I mean less than me(I may b wrong,bt I feel so)…it'll help u…

More practical(atleast more than me)

U have better money management skills than me ”

I have kept the last lines of the testimonial deleted for now because I wanted to comment something on this testimonial. Can you see how formal it is!!! How can I be so formal with the person whom I am watching since his childhood. This is simply not done. I deserve punishment. And I am ready to be punished. I want him to decide what & how wants to do that.

Staying away from him made me convinced me that I always behaved as a typical orthodox guy who dominated or atleast loved the feeling throughout. I feel sad...shattered...I cried in pain searching how can I make up for those lost days when I slapped him instead of loving...more than once. Just how can I? He is not any outsider. He is ours, he is mine. But the distance made me love him and tears from my eyes gave some cooling to my heart. What has changed now is that we talk 5% more than before when I go home. I keep myself busy with old friends. When I came back, again it takes me more than 15 minutes to get back to my seat in the train as I need to clean my face and those shades of tears falling all over. One of the reasons is him, yes I miss him. A lot. But I do not know how to tell the same to him.

And finally, here is what the rest of the testimonial reads:

“Introducing in front of u, the best live library on movies, games & music; the youngest of all the brothers in our entire family; my only brother & the best one I ever could have got…. Bapin, Bapun, Litun, Titun & Nitish (I am not writing a few secret names).

Things have changed a lot between us…I mean the way talk to each other & the way think about each other… we both know that how much we interact with other…Hope that will improve in future… All I can say you is that: Just remain the way you are…but with some modifications… I know u wont listen to me… After u r my brother who also never listened to anybody...hahaha….

And hey just want you to know that I’ll be there for you whenever & wherever u’ll need me…I’ll be just a call away & I’ll try my best to fulfill what u want….and try to make u feel that there is somebody who cares for u… Hope you will give me that chance to serve & be the best bro for u….”

can i have a second chance :(:(:(........................

Emperors Are Immortal...

2009-02-01T23:19:00.003+05:30

Rafa wins his first Australian Open at Rod Laver Arena, making Federer wait for some more time to equal Sampras's feet of GS titles. Well, for a moment after the match(infact during 5th set of the final), I started thinking whether Roger can still win another slam!!! This thought was obvious when I see no other player other than Nadal facing him again in a final. But when I saw the presentation ceremony, my love for Fed-ex only increased and for the first time (yup, I gotta admit this), I admired Nadal's response as well.

I have seen Roger's rise as a pro and his record stay at the numero uno position, and the same applies to Rafa as well. Now when I dissect both the player's journey to the top, the only differentiating factor which I find is the pace at which the Spaniard rose to the level where he challenged Federer. Now, looking at the way Nadal is playing, I wonder how the Swiss maestro has not changed his own game!!! I have seen the same Roger, same forehands, backhands and not to forget the aces over last 6 years. But I am not the only one who has seen the way the Rafa has played in last 12 months, I am more than sure Federer knows it better than anybody in this world. Even today when I saw him play, I expected him to be more aggresive, but the same old champ came out with his text book shots. And to my surprise I discovered something that largely is the factor separating these two kings of this sport in this decade. That is the power and thrust from Rafa's hand. When it comes to technique, skill & timing, Fed-ex is still the master. He can surely get back the lacking stamina, for his fans know that he is still has that hunger to win, and that is all it takes to play at the top.

Whatever it is, I love u Federer, as I am more than sure your tears does mean a lot to you and your fans. You rarely have shown any emotions on the court, but it takes a hell out of man to express his deepest emotion in front of millions of people and still win hearts. You were the king, you are already a legend and you will be reigning again.

Hail Roger, for all your achievements and you deserve it man.

Finally on my closing thoughts:
-> Felt good to see the Aussies going down to Kiwis. Their terrible form continues (after series loss from India and then from South Africans).
-> Ate a lotta prawns Mumma sent for me.
-> Feeling very sad for Federer and his post match presentation.
and
-> Wishing Mom & Dad A Happy Anniversary. (Sorry I was late)

Oh Dear!!!

2009-01-17T02:08:00.002+05:30

I see somebody. I see a faint image. I see someone or something enthralling that captures my imagination each time it passes through my mind. Who is she? What's that? Is it for real....or all hallucinations....

You know what!!! I am a die-hard romantic. I fall in love every five minutes. With a flower, with a cruiser, with a nice melody, with someone who sells lemon half a dozen for 12, with intelligence, with past memories, with uncountable actresses, with my future aspirations, with my job(sounds interesting nah!!!), with my colleagues, with new cell phones, with nature, with what not....almost everything---

Yes, I want to live on a high....always...Yes my dear...I love too much...I miss too much...I care too much... I feel too much...I observe too much...I react too much...Yes my dear, my mind is poisoned...Who am I?

That Thing You Do...

2008-09-14T01:51:00.001+05:30

A friend of mine started liking somebody from the 1st trimester itself. Though it was love at the first sight, it was there to stay. He ended his last trimester. And....and what...yup...just like story of a movie he did not express his feelings. Reasons are few but weird, hard to believe. The girl knew it, but she always expected him to say it first. I mean is it a written law in India (yes, especially in India) that the man has to always to say it first.->->-> 6 months after->->-> The girl is happily committed now with another guy and my friend is happy again, just like Gilmore, he says he forgot everything. He or that girl had fallen in (so-called) love before, you never know may fall in again as well.

Both are happy...really!!!

Another friend who used to stay the flat next to ours in my B-school hostel, fell for a girl who was the epitome of immaturity. This guy always thought to educate her on this. But there was just one problem, but a very big one; it was a pure case of a padha-likha-gaon ka chhora and one tiny mem-shaab who believes in the glitz and glamour and nothing else. He loved her like anything, and made sure he tells her in the perfect way. He took help from some of his friends, then the number of so-called helping friends increased. He told his feelings many times. The best part was the betrayal by his friends who not only misguided him but one of them made sure he goes out with the same girl. What a lovely way of breaking the trust, hope & heart...all in a one shot... That guy suffered like that till the date the girl got married. And you know what....he still says he would accept her if ever she comes back.

He always told me: she is made for me, and I know I get her on day. Till date, he believes in this and I don't know but I believe...his philosophy...his patience....and his puritan love...

My ex-flatmate and me used to have chat for long hours on any topic and girls were the prime topic. The girl on whom we had most heated discussion with a lot of curiosity was in a (so-called) relationship and used to go out with her boyfriend. Then the internship approached and we all went ahead to pursue it with great anticipation. During my interns the guy pings me to say that he is into a relationship with that girl. Yes, they both got to know each other after she broke up with her precious boyfriend. But whenever my friend and me sit to analyse and think over this we end of deciding that they can not be together as they do not have anything in common.

Today after 2 years I see them talk about breaking up every alternate day, sometimes every 5 minutes for reasons that are the heights of childishness. I ask them you really think this is gonna work, they say we "hope". I believe Barack Obama is the not the only 'hope'ful person in the world.

A very close friend of mine falls in love every other day with a girl in every corner from Vashi Railway station till his office. He liked a girl for 4 years during his B.Tech and never expressed anything because he did not feel like saying her!!! He liked somebody very deeply in the later part of his MBA, again left it in midway as he felt she does not understand his feelings. Now there are close to a half a dozen a girls who directly or indirectly told him that they like him. But he declines all of them, may be he not interested or may be he does not have anymore faith in love.

I ask him why? He says: "many girls would come and go..." I ask myself whom is he kidding?

I can go on & on & on writing uncountable real life stories like this, more painful, more romantic. But these are examples on which one can make a 3-hour long movie or write a book. They offer you look at the life from different dimensions and very close quarters.

Finally, two things: -> I was/am a common factor in all the above circumstances

-> Today is the birthday of the girl with whom I shared 7 years of my life, seven beautiful years.

Love Your Job....Your Company Too

2008-08-16T20:36:00.000+05:30

I. Me. My job. I love my job. I love my company. Am I making contradictory statements? Is loving your job and your company are two different things altogether! The reason for writing this is not because somebody famously quoted “love your job, not your company; as you never know when your company will stop loving you”. I thought to write because as a fellow professional, I just asked myself one simple thing: is it wrong to love your company or is it wrong to be loyal to your company? If the answer to this question is 'yes', then I gotta study for another 15 years to change my thinking and perspective.

Especially in a competitive and a challenging market scenario where attrition rate is so high and head-hunting & poaching is the order of the day, being loyal to your organization is considered as not-so-trendy!!! What an irony! I have to answer infinite number of questions from 'n' number of people as to why I am still in an organization for more than a year. A year!! Tell me any of our fathers have changed their organization every year? I am taking the opportunities that were available in the market at that point of time into account. But just answer this simple question: the 30 years they work worked for their respective organization, were not they passionate, dedicated or loyal to it? You can find a spark in their eyes showing how proud they were for their organization, and the best thing is that they maintain the same feeling after their retirement and till the end. Their organization does not give them special benefits to boast, but they feel attached and a sense of belongingness automatically. They miss their organization so much after their retirement that may lead the current crop of youth feel that they are lunatics.

To my agony, I miss this spark and the sense of belongingness in the eyes of the so-called professionals today. For them changing, err..switching jobs is the 'in' thing. Sounds as if Manish Malhotra has just released his Fall Winter collection and people are ready to flow with the new fashion trend. For God's sake, it's your career and there are many other things that should be taken into account apart from monetary factors for changing your job. Today's youth might have a strong point in defending themselves in this matter by saying that they are eligible and they fit the organization requirements. But dude, till how far? These Vikram Pandits, Indra Nooyis, Nandan Nilekenis and all the top shots in the corporate world has stayed in a particular organization and served for years till they earned their position. But the professionals of today do not find stability so 'sexy' or 'exciting'. If they can not be loyal to their employers then how a new employer trust them. Because, I feel, at the end of the day if you are leaving a job then the reason should be not only be money. It does matter but I hope you are understanding my theme for this write up.

Ridiculous to ponder. But so true it is today, happening. It is just like haute couture. Fall winter, fall autumn or the summer collection, it is the new 'in' thing in the urban youth. Be stable and experience the rewards and returns of the stability. Give back to your organization , add some value, make them feel for you. Stop working as a machine and think beyond just withdrawing salary at the end of the month.

Sometimes I recall, my professors repeated one word more than a 1000 times during my MBA lectures: "Value Addition"...

Life Is One ....... Dream

2008-07-03T14:12:00.001+05:30

Writing once again inside train. My last writing was based on the love that we find in our friends, wife and our family. That was inside the train (I think during my visit home last time with Jinu & Jayant after MBA got over)as well. Now I am just 5 hours before touching Mumbai and trying to gather some memories or rather thoughts that came and passed by during last 30 hours in this air conditioned coach of Konark Express. I met two new people. A mom and her daughter who is to do her MBA at Pune. I started interacting with them, quite unlike me, an introvert, thanks to her mom. A typical Gujju mother with a healthy coating of Oriya culture and understanding. I had to digest some of Gujarati dishes, with a typical mother’s signature. Both are nice (now, don’t ask my critical self to judge).

Whatever. Let me start with the new punch line that I have saved as the welcome message of my mobile. It reads “life is one f***ing dream”. LOL. I really love it. Don’t know why. Just a thought which comes to my mind more than once every day. When I shifted to Bhubaneswar I was happy for many factors. Loved every bit of my stay there apart from chasing the dream to do MBA like a mad. Then MBA did happen and ended up coming to another capital. Spent first 3 months in Mumbai literally crying and next three months trying to console myself for my home, Dad, brother and someone who successfully brought tears inside and out of my heart, Mom. Then never realized how the next 12-15 months passed in a whiff and left some uncountable moments to cherish for the rest of the lifetime, thanks to friends I never met in my life before. Got a job post MBA, and felt why MBA can not be stretched for another 2-3 years. I mean after those 18 months of unforgettable journey, the professional get up never were up to our taste, at least mine. Because apart from imparting a huge amount of outlook and a completely different perspective of looking at life, MBA also taught us what bonding and team spirit is and that made us remember each other so much after it. Then after joining the first job, was sceptical of the office, colleagues and atmosphere. Got two offers from other organizations within 3 months of joining, but the true Sagittarian from heart declined only because it was so much attached to the organization and people working there.

This was my first trip to home after my job. And now feeling why not to do a job in Orissa? I mean what exactly the heart wants. And the world is there to show the aspiration and desire. Life gives so many hopes and opportunities and still you find yourself on the losing side 9 out of 10 times. This makes me ask myself why we chase these never ending hopes day in & day out. A perfect life is in the fate of less than 1% crowd in India. Still we all try to be in that league. So I will never agree that "life is one empty dream". it is too damn f***ingly hard to chase but full of experiences that is going to last for the rest of our lifetime.

Life's Like That.

DREAMS

2007-12-03T14:43:00.001+05:30

When the hopes still linger in the heart & dreams continues to float, the tired mind starts to sparkle again, because all it needs is just a push from the heart that will take it to think & fulfil higher ambitions & aspirations. Can anybody define the words which I have written above- ‘hope’ & ‘dreams’? Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung identify dreams as an interaction between the unconscious and the conscious. Many other do argue with this definition and put their own. According to Fritz Perls dreams are projections of parts of the self that have been ignored, rejected or suppressed. Many people, many opinions.

In this growing materialistic world which is full of fear, where no body has time for the other there is something that keeps the hopes of millions intact; there is something which makes someone feel that he would be recognized by the world. Those are nothing else but “dreams”. Remember that a dream unifies the body, mind, and spirit. It provides you with insight into ourselves and a means for self-exploration. In understanding your dreams, you will have a better understanding and discovery of your true self.

India today is a country abounding with opportunities and optimism. The 9% GDP growth rate of the past few years, coupled with rising incomes and progressive liberalisation, has inspired a wave of first generation entrepreneurs to the fore. New-age entrepreneurs, both small and big, are making a foray into diverse sectors and pioneering new opportunities and potential. You can be an entrepreneur and achieve your dreams regardless of where you are right now. Do make sure you have a vision, a well researched plan in place and stay positive? It also helps to take a long view as you may have to take a step back to survive for the next day.

Do you ever realize how small dreams push us further & further towards our future? When a child studies in a school, he dreams of getting into a college, and then he dreams of for higher studies. Dreams….yes we dream a lot. And hey, dreams are necessary to live, to go ahead. Just to give a glimpse of how dreams vary from person to person: a kid dreams of a playstation in the morning, he gets one in the evening; a bus conductor dreams of driving a bus one day, but he is never able to see his dream fulfilled. A son of a farmer dreams of getting a pair of new clothes, but there are many children who just have to choose between Weekender and Zapp. There are children who dream of getting into a primary school as they can not afford it but on the other hand children are using laptops in an AC room of a school. So, as you have seen in each contrasting incidents there is one case where the fulfilment of someone’s dream is almost impossible.

It hurts…yes it does hurt…when dreams are shattered…Whether you are rich or poor, when your dreams are shattered you feel that you lost something. That’s why one should have to work towards the attainment of his or her dreams. Unless, it would be just day-dreaming.

A patient in an ICU dreams of seeing another sunrise, a mother dreams to see her son near who is working for army, an employee dreams of promotion, a wife dreams of getting some life back in her dead relationship with her husband, parents dreams of finding a suitable match for their daughter, an 18-year old guy leaves home so that one day he will be like Amitabh Bachchan, a farmer dreams of better rain & harvesting, a son dreams to be like his father, so on & on & on….dreams can be of any size…it really does not matter. Dhirubhai Ambani has planned, gathered, executed and expanded his entire empire; but before even planning he had seen a dream, big dream...everything else just followed his great & strong vision. Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely. JRD Tata has dreamt of a developing India, Narayan Murthy has given a reason to the youth of India to dream of technology. When Ambani started his business, he had very few people who believed in his dreams. But it takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. All those who achieved so much in their lives and today stand as our icon had that courage to move ahead against all odds, be it socially, economically or politically. So, if you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams. One must remember that dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions. All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. J.W. von Goethe said: - “Dream no small dreams, for they have no power to move the hearts of men.”

No one should negotiate their dreams. Dreams must be free to fly high. No government, no legislature, has a right to limit your dreams. You should never agree to surrender your dreams. Ideologies separate us. Dreams bring us together. Ralph Lauren, one the best designers has once stated that “I don’t design clothes, I design dreams.” So, one should try to understand that everybody who has tasted success has had a dream…just because they thought big and they had the passion to fulfil it, they made it possible to see their dreams turning into reality. Thomas Lawrence has put in his thought in a very literary way: “All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.”

Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living. It’s a process which is very tough to maintain, but it must be continued to make any organization a great one. As you have seen above how small to big dreams vary, we can assume that we all have dreams. But in order to make dreams come into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort. I really feel that only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages. So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable. I always remembered the famous quote of Eleanor Roosevelt: “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty, strength & power of their dreams.” Many argue with me that why do I believe so much in my dreams. I simply tell them dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams? I tell people I'm too stupid to know what's impossible. I have ridiculously large dreams, and half the time they come true. Dreams are the touchstones of our character.

When you dream, dream big, as big as the ocean blue. Because when you dream it might come true. Dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask. It is always important to translate our dreams into reality. A dream which is not interpreted is like a letter which is not read. George Bernard Shaw says: “You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?" So, in India we need to visualize what our outgoing president has dreamt of: the 2020 vision. We need men who can dream of things that never were. The key to realizing a dream is to focus not on success but significance - and then even the small steps and little victories along your path will take on greater meaning.

Subhas Chandra Bose, Bhagat Singh & MK Gandhi had sacrificed their lives for our country so early in their lives. If Rajiv Gandhi can become the prime minister of India at the age of 40, if Kalpana Chawala can go to space at the age of 36, if Bill Gates can start Microsoft at the age of 20, if Sachin can play for India at the age of 16, why can not we go on to make our dream a reality? It’s our life, make it count. If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.

Dream On Guys…

November Blues

2007-11-23T01:16:00.000+05:30

I never thought you would be so indifferent. Though ‘indifferent’ is not suiting your behaviour of last few days, but I can’t be as rude as you. Unless why I, anybody would have called this an ‘inhuman’ and ‘humiliating’ action.

I think you have simply gone into another world with some of your presumptions & pre-conceived notions, of which you are not going to come back. But truth is what we both know & it’s going to knock your door & your life one day. I have always told you that everybody pays the price of their action during the lifetime not afterwards and the life itself is so short. Don’t make it more agonizing.

To forgive is always believed to be known as an act of divinity, my respect & love for you has given you the power & opportunity to execute that. But you have chosen the other way. It might look brighter in the beginning, but assuring yourself with hopes & dreams of a better future needs to be paved by what you have not by what you will have.

I can write on & on, till my last breath, but when the recipient takes a position higher than the families, values, respect & love, it is only love’s labour lost. As winter is grappling and as usual I’m getting retrospective & you just added another big reason to feel melancholic. On the eve of another professional battle, this is Subhajit bidding adieu, being betrayed and was forced to lose his biggest mission midway.

6.30 pm, 21st November, Bombay