Saturday, November 28, 2009

Whatever...Kuchh Bhi...

When I look back and read my post, I feel... this is me, so me. I want my closed ones to care for me, I don't want them to be overly caring; I want them to be always near me, I also do not want their too much of presence; I want someone who calls up at night to ask me whether I had my dinner or not, yet I don't want it everyday.... so on & on & on. Exactly what do I want? Do I even want anything, any damn thing? May be not. May be I do not deserve. I don't know. I am going mad. Whatever...

I have this commitment-psychosis, thanks to my ever changing mood. And marriage. To fuel this thought in mind, not 1 but 3 of my cousins bros are getting married in next 3 months, while 1 got married last month. The entire family is happy as the boys are into the marriage-thing after a hiatus of close to 7 years. Even I was tired being a part from the bride's side for last 7 years. But being a part of baarati and being in the hot seat on mandap are largely different things. I hate when people around me even talk about marriage, coz our discussions about marriage concludes at a dead-end. A point of no return. Whatever! And again, I ask the same old question: why do people get married? To have children, or for their parent's sake. One of my aunt was so concerned about my eating habits in Mumbai that she is always after me to get married, so that my wife will take care of the food. I mean, now I have to get married coz I'll have someone who can cook. Do I need to marry for that? I am paying my bai 1500 bucks to cook, and I am happy with the food. Whatever! I don't bother. Secondly, finding "the one" is pretty tough, as of now I think it's impossible. My friends say I am thinking too much and getting too much critical in my choice, but dear how can I just close my eyes if I have to take the biggest decision of my life? It's too damn hard. And the result: marriage plans are dropped indefinitely. Whatever!

I just had a self-analysis, and not surprisingly I found out that if I have to stay happy 'from inside' more than 15 days a month, then I better stay single. That sounds weird, but for me, as of now, this holds true. May be my theories suck, may be I am sounding stupid, but I am confused. May be tired. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am already over-using the term 'whatever' today... thanks to my blank mind...Whatever mind... Kuchh bhi mind...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

November Blues!!! What's that?

Oh it's raining! Raining since almost 2 days. Rain in November... is there something wrong! Dhoni & Ponting's men are staying at 'Four Points' and looking at the weather. It seems they will end up in spending majority of their time inside the hotel and the rest in shopping at Inorbit. Their wives have already started shopping and eating some real oily stuff at the Inorbit food-court. Dhoni would be happy not to face the Aussie heat (that to in wet conditions ;-) ). Raj baba's men went nuts as usual inside Maharashtra's assembly for some weird reasons taking MNS's image to another low. The MET department has given a cyclone (they have given it some alien name also) warning for today, thus making sure that it is not going to happen.

Today, also marks 2 years of my first post in this blog, which actually was an excerpt from one of my e-mails. It was written for my ex and then I thought of putting it here. That is how I started writing on a blog, for the first time. From then , till now, one thing has remained constant; no one reads my blog ;-). Today also marks the completion of my two successful years as an eligible (atleast my ex-boss says so) bachelor after 7 odd years of hook-up with my ex. Life has moved on, not very far but things have changed a lot. By the way, I am having a break-up party this evening at my place. It would be low-key... only vodka ;-). And you never know I might end up spending my weekend with a proper break-up party with a candle-lit dinner with a new girl (this candle light idea is given by my friend Rishal!). I have this long list of female acquaintances which sometimes entices me to recreate a story for my child-ren: "How I Met Your Mother- Indian Version" ;-) I can only see myself playing Uncle Barney...hehe...

Well, I need to present a business plan that got shortlisted in top 8 in an event organised by UTVi at KJ Somaiya this Friday. I literally have no idea what I am gonna speak thanks to my work schedule. Let's see, how it goes. Until next time, it's bye folks.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Not Anymore...

What do you understand by cold war? How are you going to define it? Is it because the relationship has become cold? And why do we always have a cold war with a person who is close to you? Is it because you want to fight with them or is it something. What I found in most of the cases, it is the clashes of ego, or may be clashes of the way we think. Every individual is different from each other, but we don’t accept this fact easily. We want the person in front of us to think the way we are thinking. But to what extent?

I am not writing this post of because I am having one such thanda war with anybody, but mainly because I am tired of losing people close to me in my life. I am too tired even to think about that. So each time I feel that I am having such kind of a tiff with someone close to me, I can’t take it easily. It’s really tough on my part, even though it’s not a new thing, anymore. If that someone thinks the same way or everything goes ‘perfect’ (may be an overstatement) for a long time, and when you start thinking that he is the one you can call a ‘buddy’ any given day in your life, things start changing. I have learned to give myself sometime, but these phases are really tough to survive. Because all the time I live under the insecurity of losing that someone. Can’t live with this feeling.

I just hope, this is not a war, forget about being cold. I hope this is not a fight, as in my dictionaries buddies don’t fight, they just agree to disagree. I hope this friendship is not going to lose its charm, as I have not thought of such a good friend since last few years. I hope this just a small bad dream which I am seeing and is going to get over soon. Because all I can do, is ‘hope’.

Hope, we would remain as such ever. Hope…

Friday, November 6, 2009

The Pain of the Master

[You may find certain words in this post which may not be appreciated in a public forum, but I am/shall NOT be apologetic about it, as I am just expressing my thoughts as a normal frustrated and disgusted crcket fanatic]

A banner in SCG ground on 4th January 2008 read, "Commit all your crimes when Sachin is batting. They will go unnoticed because even the Lord is watching."

We, Indians, grew up watching Cricket. You can smell its flavor in every nook & corner of our homes. We eat cricket, sleep with it & wake up thinking about it only. Obsession is not wrong, even for a passion like this over-obsession can also be understandable. But turning blind or analyzing the reasons behind our failure should not be avoided as well.

And today, we are also debating about being a top class team and reaching the number one position in world cricket. Have we ever asked ourselves, that whether do we even deserve it or do we have the skills, temperament and the attitude to be in that position???

Just a brief glance over last couple of month’s developments (though we find such things since time immemorial)

-> We bring in Rahul Dravid to Champions Trophy saying he is the need of the hour. Then we dump him in the next series saying he is not fitting into the scheme of things. Now here, no one knows how our selectors and BCCI defines “need of the hour” and “the scheme of things”.

-> We field players like Harbhajan, who himself does not know what he is doing in the team for last 3 years. And players like Amit Mishra are picked to provide water and snacks for players. Gambhir has gone to hibernation post last year’s IPL and cricket season. But he is on seventh heaven winning ICC player of year award.
-> Yuvraj’s tummy is crossing all the limits and he is our best fielder. We are a young side (or so they say) and we do the maximum errors in the field, most of them are of school-level standards. To place on record, Bangladeshi guys are 2.5 times better fielders than us.
-> People like Rohit Sharma and few others still does not know why they are not in the team when people like Ravindra Jadeja and Virat Kohli are warming the bench inside the team pavilion.
-> Ishant Sharma has become Irfaan Pathan, part-2. The other seamers are saying they are missing Zaheer bhai! Do they even know where to deliver a good-length ball?
-> After all this, Yuvraj & Viru has time to speak “jab tak balla chal raha hai, thaat hai” on a TV commercial. Do they even understand what they are saying!

And then, there is this man, called some Tendulkar who is playing for just 20 years. Two decades, 435 matches and still scoring more than the above mentioned morons. Still having that hunger. Still having the thinking to win & only win. To hang in there till he can to get that extra run, to save that extra run & to run that extra yard to take a catch. Some sons of guns ask him again & again what is his motivation, to which he simply answers that for him cricket is his life and playing for India is a privilege throughout. Everyday, when he wakes up he feels honored to wear that helmet and that blue shirt. How many youngsters care the same way, he cared playing for India not for 1, 2 or 5, but for 20 years. And if you watch him playing even today, you can see he still cares!

We are bigger chokers than South Africans. May be the biggest. But we are also most hopeful people on the planet earth. Even Obama must have thought, I could fool these people 100 times easier than Americans. Yes, we love to stay in a negative mindset being hypocrites. People blame the same Tendulkar, stating that when he scores a ton we lose. Those b******s don’t understand that there are 10 other players who also need to deliver. Also, these d***heads watch each time Sachin comes to bat and they celebrate each time India wins. Hypocrisy at its best.

I was expecting Ponting to say in the post match presentation after yesterday’s match that: Sachin is unfortunate to play with such a team. Because the team neither has passion, determination nor the will to win, and this is where teams like Aussies and South Africans are differentiated. Sixty one years ago, at the end of a tour of England by Don Bradman's famous pack, John Arlott put it thus: "Australianism" wrote Arlott, "means single-minded determination to win - to win within the laws but, if necessary, to the last limit within them. It means where the 'impossible' is within the realm of what the human body can do, there are Australians who believe that they can do it - and who have succeeded often enough to make us wonder if anything is impossible to them. It means they have never lost a match - particularly a Test match - until the last run is scored or their last wicket down."

How many times this tiny man, the master, is going to save us? How many times are we going to lean upon his shoulders? For God’s sake, he is just a human and just another player. Just a week back, the great Yuvraaj said in a press meet that they all are calling Sachin ‘grandpa’, because of the amount of cricket he played. Yuvraj still behaves as casually as he said that statement with absolute zero learning. These f**ing idiots need to be tamed sooner.

Till the day, the other 10 morons in the team won’t think like 10% of what Sachin thinks, we should stop discussing crap things like becoming numero uno or being a world-class team. Deserve before you desire.

Saluting tiny Tendlya of Sharadashram Vidyamandir, the shy Sachin practicing at Shivaji Park, the little champion, India’s run machine and Master Sachin Tendulkar. We still love you, and I can say with more than 100% assurance that India won’t watch cricket the same way if you won’t be there. You define cricket to your fans, to India.

The stupid ‘hopeful’ in me want to say: “Just don’t go Sachin”