I remember myself teasing my younger brother in the years of growing up. He never liked it, infact hated it. But I used to feel so great when he was irritated. As we grew up and stopped fighting over the cake Mom makes at home, I realize that I shared the closest bond during the 'teasing phase'. Today, when I sit with him to watch Bigg Boss to de-stress over watching nonsense by the in-mates in the show, I realize my fights with him were far more better :P I don't pull his cheek anymore, instead his leg. Sometimes he likes it, sometimes he does not. But with 10 more days to go, I believe I might miss all those days, fights and moments even more.
And yes, who is going to bat first post school hours was a life-altering decision at one point.
When I used to visit my maternal grandparents during my school holidays, I used to be quite ecstatic about it. Not just because I loved the city they used to stay, the locales or the big buildings there, but primarily because I was hopelessly attached to one my cousin brother (uncle's son). I just did not know why, but he was that one guy who used to be my idol, in every aspect. He always had got better video game discs, he always had a better bicycle, he always could give me solutions to my problems. He also was the only one close to my age-group, making it easier to spend time with him. But when I look back today, I try to find why I always used to be so close to him and I practically found no big reason for it, apart from one. I realized he has been the greatest story-teller in my life. Almost on every theme of life, he has got some story to tell. Though he specialized in ghost-stories, all sorts of fiction was his forte. And his story-telling capabilities made me believe in each one of those stories. Wish I keep on hearing them for the rest of my life.
I never have been a great student during my school or college days. My teachers were never so impressed by me (barring few). So, basically I never gave my parents (especially Dad) moments to feel proud. Then I reached a stage in my life where I realized studying should be about gaining, acquiring and understanding 'perspectives'. And it is my Dad, who only gave me all the liberty to go for what I wanted to pursue instead of what he wanted. May be he realized he would be happy if I would be. I chose Literature followed Human Resources, roads not many of my contemporaries did not want to tread. How successful they are or I today is irrelevant and subjective, but what matters is 'the way I look at things around me'. Yes, I have changed and changed for good. Perspectives.
Movies are a part of my life. Sometimes they define few (actually many) of my attributes, sometimes I feel I knew how a script would unfold. My relationship with films and film-making as a process has been beautiful and would remain so in years to come. It's a relationship of multiple commitments, and we both fight it out every week. I simply love the journey of sitting in a dark room for close to 3 hours and be a part of it without pretending. And I love to be amazed by the story-telling, the screenplay, the cinematography, the editing, the music, the lyrics. Every technical aspect of it. I love the actors, they are a different species. And last but not the least, the magicians, yes I call the Directors as magicians They actually create a world around you and you believe in them, even if just for 3 hours. That's what they are capable of. Alas, we do not see many such good movies running in theaters these days, thanks to the 100-crore pressure and the 3-day-weekend-business concept. Yet, we are breaking new boundaries, with some great talent around and making some real good cinema and I am insanely in love with it more than ever.
I mostly live in nostalgia. It keeps me awake, keeps me going. People around me keep reminding me living in present and planning for the future. But the few things that keeps makes me feel at ease is the days I lived and the moments I shared with the ones around me. I feel my past drives for what I do today and what aspire to do tomorrow. It allows me to rectify myself and it helps me understand myself better. It tells me about my upbringing, it prepares me for a future where I will have my conviction.
I live my last day today in Mumbai as a bachelor and leave to city where my roots belong tomorrow.
I have been fortunate enough to be known as friends of few such people who has been there with me since the time I have known myself as a person. One has taught me how to play hard Cricket, how to drive a bike and most importantly to reach late. I was late in schools and carried on the habit till date. And yes, it is terrible to reach late in office being in HR. But old habits, you know! There's one more friend who taught me how to live a life with almost nothing, absolute nothing. He lived his life on his own when he was 15, and his responsibilities did not just include himself. He lived through it and went on. In the true sense of it, we can call it his 'struggle', but that guy never made anyone feel what he was going through. I, today, stand tall for what he has achieved, though he is still not convinced with them yet. But he is the guy who made me realize what humility is, how hard the life can be and how better I am off today to think and write about all these!
There is a slowness in the atmosphere, is it just my tiredness or something else!
My father tells so many good things to imbibe apart from one. But watching him all these years makes me understand one thing which I believe is very crucial to become a better human being: be content. I know I have not even distantly close to the level of 'contentment' he has in his life, but I believe it's time I should learn that. He has lived a life that has got every aspect of seriousness and his motto was simple: time takes no holiday. I have told this before and I am saying it again, my life would be worth living one if I can become half of what he is. Whether his meticulous approach to each work, his passion and dedication to each of his assignment and his ethics towards life. Phenomenal.
As I sign off for the day, I wish I could write on forever. Bhubaneswar is little less cold this year, may be the season is also feeling nervous about the newness.
I lived my life in multiple places thanks to the nature of my father's job. I changed 3 schools in as many different location till 10th. Then changed 2 locations till graduation. But I lived the majority of my life where I understood and discovered life in 2 locations. Bhubaneswar and Mumbai, a city of temples and a city of dreams, respectively. The first city helped me leave my teenage back and strive for bigger aspirations in life, while the later one helped me become a true professional in every sense. While my hometown left so many beautiful memories to live on, the dream town gave me my identity. Both stand very close to my heart and I always believed I will never be able to give back what these two cities given me as a human being.
With that note, I think and realize how incomplete I would have been without staying in these two cities and the life I have lived in each part of it.
Ma, Mumma, Mummy... you may decide what you want to call the person who has been the one who shapes you emotionally, mentally and physically. So many roles, all put into one, one super woman, the Mother. There is no substitute, no replacements. The ever-compromising, the lovely creation who can never be questioned irrespective of her mistakes (if any!), because she is beyond any comparison. She rarely gets the recognition she deserves, she rarely is given the limelight, but in spite of all these she actually is the backbone of each family. In my case, I am very fortunate to crib a lot and she allowed me to do that. And today, when I sit back and look her contribution towards me, I feel lost. In my last 7 years stay away from home, I realized her worth everyday when I have food, when I struggle for my stuff, when I have coffee, when I forget to switch off the light and when I simply think of family. She is the binding factor in the family and in our lives. She completes me.
As I go to sleep tonight with 36 hours for 'the' day, I must confess, how much I love, admire and respect my Dad, I would ever remain a Mumma's boy.
I just had my last dinner with my 3 integral people of life. Happy. Sad. Happy.
I have written about multiple people, multiple places and multiple incidents. It may not interest you, but it has been my life and I felt my last few days which were melancholic for many reasons and nostalgic as always, deserved to come out. I am happy for the 27 years I lived as a bachelor and equally looking forward to the years to come where I would be sharing my life with someone. And these people, places & incidents make my life worth living and loving. If I am happy today, these things make me happy.
From tomorrow, I have ONE more added reason :)